If you say forever I will punch you in the face....

Our dish washer is on the fritz, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. More often than not we wash the dishes by hand. And I have found that I am not a very good dish washer. Actually, I think I am a good dish washer, I just get all sorts of freaked out by germs and making sure things are clean (if you didn't know, I have this thing about old food- I rarely eat leftovers, I don't like buffets, food that has been sitting too long has been contaminated. for real. So food remnants must be completely purged from eatery) Ewwwww. All that to say I have been depending on the dish waser to give me that feeling like things are really clean now, even though you have to thoroughly wash anything that goes in there. I still like to know the machine has sprayed everything down with soap and hot water. This story has no point.

So I have been really stressed out this week and I am still amazed at when an acupunturist can look at your tongue and say, wow, you are anxious. shocker. (This can also be kind of patronizing and freakin' annoying) but Paul looked at my tongue Wednesday afternoon and said, are you angry? And then I realized that I was. Which is interesting, because 1. Anger is not a normal emotion for me to dwell in (I don't think) 2. I couldn't figure out what I was angry about. Anger is not a comfortable emotion. And I am still angry.

I took an only typing test and I can type 63 WPM with a 98% accuracy rate. I am brilliant. Whats funny is all my mistakes are typing dyslexia- like, I would type "eht" instead of "the." Funny, huh?

My Acupuncturist gave me a prescription, a task for me to complete to stop "Christa-Freak-Out-Mode" also known as "Christa-is-overwhelmed-with-stress-and-her-brain-can't-stop-thinking-about-everything-she-has-to-do" Well, she asked me what I needed and then she told me to do it. My Rx: Go into the woods and be alone. And that is what I am going to do.

(lately all my blog titles have come from Neko Case's new Album, Middle Cyclone. She is the best)

May the 4th be with you

Yesterday was Star Wars day. I wished I had known that yesterday.

A miracle has happened. Truly. Yesterday I felt the beginning signs of illness, sore throat, cough, no energy. And Marcy told me to take today off!! I am taking a sick day. I have been working at Whole Health a year and this is my first day off in the middle of the week for self-care. So I have slept in, am making myself noursihing foods, and watching Harry Potter. Delightful. Except for the sore throat and cough...thats not fun.

I am making myself Black Rice and Mung Bean porridge. Sounds like witch's brew, doesn't it? I was adding my spices and didn't realize that the curry didn't have one of those sprinkle lids, so I am pretty sure I dumped about 1/4 cup of curry powder into the stew. Oops.

Sunday, while we are talking about food, I made delicious sweet potato and black bean tacos. Sounds weird but was inspired. Yum.

Okay, I am signing off to rejuvenate.

I am at work and have just discovered a gigantic hole in the seat of my pants. GIGANTIC. Please see previous post on inability to circumvent disaster in daily life. I will now remain glued to my seat to prevent any unseemly exposure.

I think this is God telling me not to take myself too seriously. Duly noted.

What a difference a day makes....

I feel like I try way too hard to be "TOGETHER." Bills paid, oil changed, laundry done, clothes clean. Life has a lot of chores. But no matter how hard I try lately, something always seems to go awry. Last week it was the keys gone missing, the week before snow thwarted all productivity, this week my car freaks out again- ol' Maybelle seems to be menopausal and constantly overheating. My obliviousness to her distress led to serious roadside break down. Thankfully a lovely gentleman and his family were right behind me and helped me cool her off. The someone else came by with more water, until suddenly there was a crowd and everyone was talking in rapid spanish that I didn't understand. But she was drivable to my destination, a mere 6 blocks away. In the end she ended up being towed to the car joint. I've gotta say thanks to all the people that helped me- Jessa for picking me up and agreeing to drive me to work, Katie, Haley, and Lindsey, who went searching for coolant and stared helplessly at the engine with me until the arrival of Mustafo and Steve, neighbors of Katie's and Men with Engine Knowledge, who provide much needed advice.

I am more convinced than ever that I just want to sell all my crap and move into the woods. I hate feeling tied down by obligations, money, car payments, etc. How great would it be to just shake it all off and go flying away.

So, my destination post-car breakdown was to Katie's house downtown. Its an intentional living community of about ten folks and a couple of them are moving out, so I was checking it out to see if I wanted to move in. I am undecided. It all has a very college/ community house vibe and I would want to spruce up (aka CLEAN LIKE CRAZY) the old house, but it could be fun (and cheap) to live with a bunch of people again. Another Pro is that the house is minutes from the Capoeira studio, my new obsession. But all the people I hung out with are the ones moving out (I liked them a lot) and I am afraid that if I move in I would be in charge of everything. I am just too tired for that. I feel like I am in survival mode again and am only really have energy or enjoyment of life every now and then. Maybe I just need to lower my expectations of life.

I am going to make Pros/ Cons list.

Pros:
Cheap Rent
Insta-friends/ community
Downtown location
Kayla- the resident Great Dane (sweet giant dog)
Great Patio
Musicians live there
House dinners/ hang out time
Always someone to play a game with
Everyone there is super conscious about community, environment etc.

Cons:
I would the oldest one/ insta-house mom (this is speculation)
People wouldn't follow through, I would clean house for everyone (also speculation)
1/2 hour commute to work (not so bad actually, this is more of a neutral)
sharing a bedroom (also not so bad, as long as whoever cleaned)





hmmmmmmm.....
I didn't know I was such a clean freak but I really do like things to be clean and organized. Its totally a control thing. and a mental health things.

Anyone have opinions or advice?

Wow I am tired. Today would be a good caffeine-free exception day. I could use a big cup of joe to get me through. and I have to be friendly today too, which, no lie, kind of feels like a stretch.

Did someone make a fool of me? I could've shown 'em how its done...

I have found my calling. Friends, I am a natural. Tonight I went to my first Capoeira class (brazilian martila arts/dance) and it was so much fun. I have giant blisters on my feet and may not be able to walk tomorrow but it was great! I loved it and apparently did not make a complete fool of myself. I will go again tomorrow if movement doesn't cause excrutiating pain.

oh, thats the trouble with thoughts...

I felt like I had something great and witty to say and here I am logged on and my brain is empty. ah well, such is life.

I am reading this great book called Aurora Dawn- written in the fifties, its incredibly witty and clever and funny. The best part is it was one of those books that just caught my eye and I randomly pulled off the shelf, a delicious act of fate. Such cursory selections usual end up to be bad historical romances or predictable fantasy (lets me honest, a cover with a dragon has a much better chance ending up on my nightstand than one with say, words). But this, this is fantastic. Well done me!

I went to see Earth today and I enjoyed it much more than I thought I would. It was beautiful and really made me want to see the world! It was incredible depressing to leave the theater and see the reality of the strip mall. Booooooo.

Eli can kind of say my name - its more like the inflection of two syllables but I will take what I can get.

its snowing outside.

hmmm, interesting spring weather we have here in Denver.

Today I have done nothing but sleep, nap, watch old movies, sleep more, eat asparagus and brownies. This was much needed day of rest. My acupuncturist says I have no chi. This is not ideal.

Today, recap:
8:00 am Wake Up
8:45 am Begin to leave, discover keys are missing
9:00 am Keys are not in purse, car, or bedroom
9:15 am Find lost debit card, no keys
9:30 am Missed appointment, found lost library book, no keys
9:45 am Scream in rage at the Cosmos
10:00 am Clean out all drawers in bed room and kitchen, no keys
10:15 am Dig through trash twice,no keys
10:30 am Check car, bags, bedroom for tenth time, no keys
10:30-11:30 Repeat the above all while the screaming inside my head gets louder
11:30 call to cancel second appointment since I am apparently not leaving the house today, while on phone find keys hanging on power cord in between table and wall, blocked from sight on one side by Eli's toy car and on the other by a bench. The universe has a vicious sense of humor.

Sometimes, lately, I like to imagine the people I encounter at work in different time periods. For example, Valentina is clearly a brassy, shoot from the hip singer at the town saloon in the wild wild west whose bright clothes are only shadowed by her bright personality. Clearly.

I had my first experience with hypnotherapy yesterday. I won't go into details except to say it was great (like acupuncture in that you get super relaxed in 20 minutes) and my inner essence looks a lot like Harimad-sol. shocker.

This week I have been playing in the pit of a high school production of the Wizard of Oz and it has been lots of fun. but tonight one of the French Horn players made an announcement- he had lost his hand (really!) and it had been reattached and the doctor's said he would never play horn again. And this is his first time playing again and its a miracle. cool huh?

Life is But a Quick Succession of Busy Nothings...

Chapter One: The Skies Opened and Dumpethed White Crap

I wore a sundress to work on Thursday morning and by evening I was trudging through snow(I now have a full winter wardrobe in my car at all times so I was prepared, sporting a hot ensemble of sundress and snow boots). The weather got progressively worse culminating in power lossage Friday evening. It came back briefly this morning and then went out again. Thankfully it is on again (as evidenced by this blog).

I was being angsty about the snow while driving home on Friday and commented to Amy "snow is shit*" This caused to pause and imagine- What if snow really was shit? This new perspective made me much more appreciative of the water based precipitation. I love snow so much more than poo (while, lets be frank, poo is strangely fascinating in its own right, I don't want it all over my yard, car, life, or person).

The trees are so laden with snow, branches and whole trees are falling everywhere. The landscape looks like something from Dr. Suess. There are some mini Shetland ponies near our house and their attempts to move through the snow was truly comical. Poor Ponies.

Chapter Two: Call me Little House on The Christa

I have found a few new things in my life that cause me great, unbounded joy and I realized all of them are sightly related. Examples: My sprouting herbs, my overalls, my new and totally unhip hand me down tiered peasant(prairie)dress, mason jars, raw honey, thinking about goats, etc etc. I really think part of my soul is trapped on a wagon train. So, when the power went out and my lunch was sadly unfinished on the stove I realized this would be an excellent opportunity to try out the wood stove's cooking capabilities. It was highly successful. Not only did I successfully stir fry veggies and rice, I whipped up an amazing batch of almond pralines. I think candy making should only be done on a wood stove for the high temperature made the process very expedient. and delicious. I was about to bust out some biscuits when darkness fell and I had no more light and didn't feel up to improvising a dutch oven.

Chapter Three: Castle Xanadu

Once we were able to clear our driveway today(ahem, our neighbor came in his John Deere mammoth skidster and plowed us out), Eric proposed we build an edifice from snow. Our original vision was an igloo but that quickly changed into a castle when we realized after our first layer of bricks we had been way to ambitious in our dimensions and that a roof would only occur if we built it 10- 15 feet tall. And who has the time for that? So we transformed it into a sweet castle fort with turrets and windows. Totally worth the five hours of hard work that now leaves me unable to lift my arms. It really is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Unfortunately, it is supposed to be in the 70s by Tuesday, so our castle will be short lived.



(* There are two things that cause me to curse more than anything: cars/driving and snow. The combination of the two really turns me into a potty mouth. While driving in snow I develop Christa-cursing-Terets which sounds like stream of consciousness poetry gone awry "shitshitshitshitshitshitshit").

I had a dream the other night that I was walking through a yard full of spiderwebs and I kept running into them (not unlike that unfortunate hike with Jon and Jon-do you remember the spiders?) I woke myself up completely creeped out with the eebie-jeebies. It took quite a bit of convincing for me to go to sleep again with the confidence that a real bug or spider was not sharing my pillow.

And THEN...the next night I go to my room and what is on my pillow but a giant beetle!!! UGH! I think a bug really did land on my during my dream. Permenant eebie-jeebies. I had to get a new pillow

Its snowing again. Calling for 4 feet this time. Thankfully I was prepared with boots in my car, making my sundress a little less unpractical (It was 70 yesterday- oh fickle weather).

I have had so much to do this week I can't wait for it to be over. How much longer until my weekend!!! Lots- unless I am redeemed by immense amounts of snow. I am plum tuckered out.

over and out cub scouts

I think this may be the best Easter ever. Megan and I have eaten the most delicious meal (Crostini of brie and asparagus and tomatoes and mozerella, shrimp and grits, and good old fashioned apple pie- with a touch of rum. Possibly the most brilliant thing ever put in an apple pie besides apples). Megan created the shrimp and grits sans recipe and we are both in awe of this delicious creation. I officially declare that Shrimp and Grits will be the traditional meal of Easter from this day forth. We are now lounging in front of the fire (its snowing), have just finished watching LOTR: Two Towers, and will venture out shortly to see Slum Dog Millionaire.

There is an older gentleman I know who is the only person that can say things like "Hey kid" and "Stay out of trouble Babe" without me going into a defensive feminista stance. He has that Humphrey Bogart-esque presence, cowboy boots, and a saucy wink that leads you to the obvious conclusion that this man was a smooth operator in his prime. He makes me feel like Lauren Becall.

I bought a wing back chair from the Arc for four bucks and have great plans for recovering it. It may be a disaster, but how can you not try for four dollars? The best part of this chair is that its seat is wider than traditional wing-backs allowing for the perfect curl-up-with-your-best-book-scenario. Have I mentioned I love my station wagon? What other vehicle could accommodate my cello, various random articles from my life which include snowboarding boots, snow boots, scarves, gym shoes and still allows room for the unplanned acquisition of fabulous furniture? Its a beautiful thing.

Okay, we all know I love a good fairy tale or fantasy story. Now, I am not a crazy or out-of touch person that actually believes in a parallel universe or magic per say, but isn't nice sometimes to imagine the possibility? I love to let my mind dance on the edge of reality and dream of a world beyond all my expectations or perceptions of what is real. I want some magic in my life. (You, as my true friends, are required to stage an intervention if my fascination with fantasy and all things other-worldly pushes my eccentricities into acts of true craziness- you know, dressing in costume outside of the privacy of my own home, speaking in a secret language of my own creation etc.)

One of my favorite parts of church is the ending benediction. I just love receiving a blessing for my week.

My roommates are disagreeing that a slice of cheddar cheese is a traditional (and delicious) accessory to apple pie- any supporting opinions? If you haven't tried this you should, its amazing.

Harry Potter is now on, my full attention is required.

Happy Easter!

If you say forever I'll punch you in the face...

Three words never to say to your personal trainer - "Bring it on."

Silly Christa. Don't ever taunt the trainer because then he will kick your butt and serve it to you on a platter. In the middle of some ridiculous plank/weightlifting/what-am-i-doing-this-for scenario I realized that the man enjoys his job aka making me lift really heavy things until I can't feel my arms, way too much. I don't think he likes my jokes.

Today I decided that the old dog pen will become a garden so after my crazy workout I hauled wood, raked up pine needles, and spent two hours outside in my overalls. I also went and locked the loft doors in the barn which had been knocked open by the wind and I had delayed closing them because I am pretty much terrified of the barn. I am not a brave women when it comes to ROUS's (or really large rats). Armed with a broom and making lots of noise I climbed the ladder to the loft, ready to flee at the slightest sign of movement. I must have been really scary, cause I didn't see a thing (anti-climatic story, I know, but I am still kind of grossed out. All the time I was climbing the ladder I envisioned rats jumping out of the feed sacks into my hair...ewwww).

After a brief nap I now find that my limbs have gone on strike and my body in general hates me. I will have to recuperate quickly for my next session is on Monday. Foul Evil Gym Man- You will not win!

I really want some chocolate cake right now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EYAUazLI9k

This is the most amazing thing ever. I am moved to tears every time I watch it.

Here is a picture of one of my most recent creations- a crazy quilt haphazardly pieced together to look like a woman dancing (inspired by a photo from Mexico taken by Rachel and Annie- she is now named Lola and lives comfortably on their couch).

Today was my 1 year anniversary at Whole Health.

Spring snow showers are heinous and evil. Like, for real. Taunted by sunny days of 60 and 70 degrees, we carelessly abandon are jackets to the back of our closets. And THEN! snow falls, unbidden, in giant heaps with lots of terrifying wind. The last blizzard I was lulled into a false sense of security by the mild weather of the morning and did not have my jacket with me. 5 hours later I had to drag my butt out to the car sans coat, getting soaked to my knees as I trudged through the snow in my flats, skirt, and stockings. By the time I met Eric to ride up the mountain together I looked like a stranded hobo- I was wearing my work clothes, my green tennis shoes, and all the other layers of clothes I had found in my car. I was quite a sight.

I am in the midst of looking for a new place to live. It is a very overwhelming thing to do. I kind of want it to just be done for me. Like most of the things in my life.

My car broke down last week. The repair cost is pretty much exactly how much I got for my tax return. I think I have been subjected to a horrible scheme to steal all my money. I did buy myself a tent with a little of the dough though. I am not going to lie, I want to get married simply so I can pass car maintenance on to someone else's to do list.

WHERE IS SUMMER!?!

TGTITWIMF (Thank Goodness Tomorrow Is Thursday Which Is My Friday)

it snowed. like, there was a blizzard. Eric saved me by taking me up the mountain in the jeep. Holler. Nothing better than being snowed in.

It is supposed to snow feet tonight. FEET. It better.

I have had a revelation. I have recently decided to do only one thing at a time (when at home, work requires 5 activities at once to get anything done). I realized that I have been walking around looking and asking for peace and quiet and calm while simultaneously cranking on the tv, turning up the radio, grabbing a book to fill the void as I cook dinner, drive to work, run my errands. If I fill my day with meaningless noise I suppose I don't have to listen to my own, possibly frightening, thoughts. Or maybe I have been afraid if I do just one thing at a time I will miss out on something or find that my free time has disappeared without anything satisfying occurring. So I grab at anything and fill every moment with STUFF and THINGS. but after a quiet weekend of doing exactly what I want, one thing at a time (this means sewing, deconstructing a dresser, more sewing, brunch with a dear friend, cooking with intention, parks, books in coffee shops where I only drink flowery tea) I discovered - My mind isn't such a scary place after all and quiet brings the satisfaction I been looking for. Shocking, I know.

It is way way too late and I must go to bed (any hour after 8 is automatically deemed way way too late). I just finished reading another fabulous Margaret Atwood book (The Edible Woman). I wish I was as smart and articulate as she...I love stories.

I went to an estate sale and bought a shadow box, dresser, and nightstand for 12 bucks. This weekend: nails and paint and creation.

I have been deliciously productive today. I finished everything on my list. Amazing. I like my errands to be circular and make sense in their orderly execution. Thankfully today there was no extra driving, everything was in its order and succinctly accomplished.

I feel the need to settle into myself and sit and be quiet for a very long time. I don't know if that will happen but I am trying not to fight this instinct, which is very easy to do.

I am currently watching "The Age of Innocence"- picked up from the library because it is directed by Martin Scorsese, is a period film, and has Daniel Day-Lewis in it. It is very interestingly done...I am not sure if I like it or not...I think I would like the book.

Amy and I currently snug in the corner of the computer room at her conservatory after a long day of walking, shopping, and EATING! It all started with the Market Street Farmers market, which I have always wanted to go to. Nestled along the wharf, it has a great view of the ocean and tons of fabulous organic goodies. Um, I love San Francisco. It is like my food mecca. Yesterday Amy took me to an organic restaurant called Cafe Gratitude, which offered vegan raw cuisine that tantalized your taste buds (okay, Amy was a little freaked out, but it was pretty much like my own kitchen). The best part is that this restaurant totally took itself too seriously (Question of the day: What are you celebrating? I ordered "I am graceful" and "I am healthy" - a more conscious eating experience you will never find)but was delicious. So this morning- farmer's market, where we walked through the aisle and I could not spend my money fast enough on raw honey, produce, vegan soup (called Butternut love soup, yes please), vegan smoothies, and what not. Like a kid on Christmas, Amy had to hold me back from pouncing on the farmers, begging for jobs, taking pictures of their confused faces. I want a farm!!!! Amy will have to be my proxy and return weekly to get veggie love. Our purses are stuffed with produce for supper.

Our meanderings then took us to the fisherman's wharf for sourdough bread (more please!) and then walking to Coit tower, China Town, Union Square (Amy endured me drooling on every corner of H and M), and now to rest at conservatory before we continue on our trek.

Other highlights: the beach (duh!), de Young Museum with Andy Warhol and Yves Saint- Laurent collection (pop culture!), Beethoven 7th Symphony, naps, people watching, men in kilts (st. patrick's day), Twilight (yes, Amy is reading them), sunny days in San Francisco. I am so moving here.

Amy says hi.

I am sick. And nothing is worse than being sick while working at a Health Center. I have taken the morning off to recover.

News Updates:

I joined the church choir, fun.

Christopher Moore continues to be my favorite author. With each additional book I read I laugh more and more.

My seedlings are sprouting!

I got to see Emmy and Carmen from Americorp- great to see them and reminisce over the days of yore.

I am watching P and P, curled up in a blanket with a hot beverage, willing away the germs. I will not succumb.

I rescued a dog this weekend, an ancient black poodle, who was deaf and going blind. The second night when I went to bed he would cry and yelp until I came back. After checking on him a dozen times I finally dragged my blanket and pillow to the couch to sleep (I wouldn't let him in my bed, fresh puppy). He was fine the rest of the night, as long as he could keep me in his sights. Needy but sweet. (I found his owner after a wild goose chase and he is now back home where he belongs)

I am going to see Amy! I must get better!

there has got to be something more to life than try, try, try....

name that tune

This Week:

Two police cars pulled onto the street from their speed trap locations, freaking me out, but both times they weren't after me

I am attending my first pit rehearsal for a local production of The Wizard of Oz

Where have all the oxen of America gone? Are they extinct?

I saw a car completely flipped over on the side of south turkey creek road- the back mountain road I drive down to get to work.

I am going to start sprouting seeds, I need to find screen and mason jars.

I went to bed at 9:15 last night and I am still tired.

I think the Amish have stolen all the oxen.

They say Izzy has cancer.

When googling "Christa needs" after too much facebook the following results popped up:
Christa needs to die NOW!
Christa needs to realize that despite disappointing action she is still deserving of friendship. (thanks.)
Christa needs to be judged if she is evil
Christa needs HELP!
Christa needs to forgive and forget

Disturbing no?

I am off to run many many errands and hopefully find something to do to make my day interesting. Whatever shall that be?

Today I sat so close to the wood stove that when the wood popped and sparks shot out, I burnt a hole in my pants. and my shirt. Sound familiar? I refer to the dime sized scar on my arm where a spark burned me when I was little. Apparently I never learn. (I am still sitting by the fire).


Today in church we sang some oldie goldies. It was great (I can't remember the name of the songs now). but is was nice. I also enjoyed the Lord's prayer, in which we all said the word "trespasses" instead of "debtors" - "...forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us..." The auditorium was split with the sound of "sss" slithering uncontrollably through the air. Delightful.


I am really really tired. The rest of my evening shall be spent reading old dramatic novels in front of Defiant (the name of the wood stove and an apt description of my general attitude).

If Oprah can, so can I...

I had come up with this list of my ten most favorite things that make me happy (specifically things-nothing meaningful like people...) I had hoped to include photos, I may still, but right now I have neither the time nor energy (nor the uploading cords for my camera). Ahem. Prepare to be riveted.



My favorite Things, in no particular order:

1. Pretty little bowls

2. Unusual scraps of fabric

3. My head lamp

4. My chacos

5. My pink dish washing gloves (they double for super hero duty)

6. Green Tomato Relish

7. Painting on Walls

8. My favorite books, which I can read over and over again(namely The Blue Sword and Biting the Sun - they are me).

9. My octopus bracelet

10. Multi-colored sharpies

If I ever was, for even the briefest amounts of time, a person who did not say exactly what she was thinking, I am definitely not that person now.

Definitely is a word I always have trouble spelling.

Tonight a miraculous thing occurred as I was taking out the trash. As I picked up the trashcan and turned, I knocked over the recycling bag. I continued out the door into the garage, listening to the sound of a glass pickle jar that had been in the bag roll across the floor. I could hear it as I placed the trash in the outside bin...and then, at precisely the same moment, I closed the trash can lid with a thud, the rolling jar stopped against the cabinet with a thunk, and the automatic garage light came on, all in unison. I live for such moments - My life is a musical.

Today I went snowboarding with my awesome brother. I was feeling pretty good, having fresh legs and great anticipation of some awesome snowboarding stunts on my part. I got a bloody nose on the first run. After I made it all the way down the mountain, I caught the wrong edge and slammed my face into the snow at MACH 1 speed (no broken wrists or fingers since my head cushioned the rest of my body as I fell). Awesome. The rest of the day went pretty smoothly, though my knees are black and blue again. Josh caught my wrath when he suggested that my legs weren't strong enough to handle lots of snowboarding (he swears that not what he meant). People on skis should never tell people (or Christa's) on snowboards what to do. You have no idea what you are talking about. All that to say I am not going to the slopes with Josh tomorrow.

I have been feeling a bit lost and all too tragically caught up in myself. It seems very hard to fight the instinct that if I do more, things will be better. What things are wrong, you may ask? Well, ultimately, me. I feel all wrong and wish I could just lie in the sun until all the bits of my soul I don’t like are burnt up and blown away.

I have my own personal soundtrack. It's the clanking and kathunking of objects I run into and knock over as I move through space. (not time, just space).



Last Friday I went to this new fabric store and as I walked in I lost my breath in amazement. The owner and namesake of the store (Elfriede) is a statuesque, elegant older woman who embodies everything I aspire to be. Pulled together, elegant (so elegant its worth mentioning several times) with infinite sewing skill and humor. She was dressed in a gown straight from the 40s, her gray hair pulled back in an equally archaic yet gorgeous up do. I puttered around her small (and expensive) shop, buying small pieces of beautiful cotton prints. I am kind of afraid to do anything with them because they are so pretty. I just sit and look at them. Their potential is satisfying enough without requiring me to actually create something.



Work can be very stressful- even if some Event doesn't occur to disturb the normal sequence of the day, it seems that every person has an individual orbit of Stress, like a Ominous Storm Cloud above their head. Everyone also has a Shield that they use to Deflect the Stress Lightning from their Stress Thunder Cloud, simultaneously protecting themselves from the Lightning and striking anyone else who shows signs of not being Stressed enough.

I try to rise above it all, thankfully I am nimble on my feet and can dodge both Stress Lightning and Stress Orbits.

Today I exercised my divine feminine right to not watch the superbowl.

i like it

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=2_HXUhShhmY&eurl=http://7.gmodules.com/ig/ifr?view=home&url=http://www.google.com/ig/modules/youtube_igoogle/v2/youtube.xml&nocache

I have ten minutes to blog and then I am absolutely going to bed. really. I must sleep pronto.

Item 1: I left work today to the sound of children screaming. In a moment I was braced for action, thrown back into my Tennyson day's when screaming is a precursor to a chili dog to the face or someone stealing your glasses. One hand on my spectacles, I looked around to ascertain the source of the bellows. I was delighted to find that the kids were laughing/ screaming in glee as a Dad ran through the snowy parking lot as quickly as possible, pushing the kiddos in a shopping cart. fun. I tried to catch up to see if I could get a ride too but they were too fast. golly.

Item 2: We are having another cold snap, with cloudy days and snow falling all day. Unfortunately there has not been a lot of accumulation. I am lodging a formal complaint against mother nature because I have not done any sledding this winter. We have an ideal set of railroad ties/planters that when lots of snow falls, you can carve out an amazing sled run (I have included a diagram). Last winter we had many a midnight sledding party. This year, nothing. I even hand shoveled the drive, using the wheel barrow to dump all the snow on the sled run, to no avail.



ten minutes are up.

went to the rodeo today. The girls laughed at me 'cause I kept cringing and yelping every time someone got thrown from a bucking bronco or bull (which was a lot). phew. If they did an MTV "Made" show for adults, I would want to be made into a barrel racer. Its kind of incredible. There was also a competition where they plopped children from ages 5 to 7 on top of a sheep and sent them off to see how long they could hang on. The kids got trampled and it was hilarious! but every one got a trouphy taller than themselves. I would say that is totally worth it. I liked the rodeo. Its like modern day jousting. but with steer.

"Do I smell like cat pee?"

This is the question I asked my co-worker today. Sometimes I get Post-Vashti-Stress-Disorder and I begin to think that I and everything around me smells like cat pee. It is rather traumatic.

(she said I didn't- phew)

Sometimes I have no words.

Sometimes I imagine my brain is like a space ship. There are lots and lots of ships flying around waiting to dock. If they don't dock they disappear into oblivion. Sometimes they don't know their docking order and get really mixed up. Sometimes they crash.

I just walked into LOST, the last half hour and I have no idea what is happening and the room is shrouded in silence that no one dare disturb. :) I will have to watch it tomorrow. Also the office from last week.

I have a fantastic plan for my weekend- which mainly includes the complete rearranging and organization of my bedroom. and laundry. lots of laundry. You know you want my life.

I am really really tired. and looking for something to give my day a little meaning...um...looking....looking...eh, to much effort.

Today Jon and I went snowboarding (well, I boarded, he skiied) I was awesome! (this statement of my skill level is relative to my previous snowboarding expedition- I never left the bunny slope, like for three hours). Today I mastered the green route. and I feel like someone beat me up. My tailbone hurts, my shoulders hurt, my knees are bruised and swollen (like really swollen), and I have a goose egg on my head where another snowboarder bonked me with her helmeted head as we were getting off the ski lift. And tomorrow we get to do it again. We are currently collapsed in exhaustion watching the Carolina game. I think I will go to bed very very soon.

Last night I went to a talk at the delightful Mercury Cafe called Eat Here Now- a discussion about urban gardening and food in Denver and the greater Colorado area. It was amazing. We got lost on the way (of course) and so I had to squeeze into a nook and strain to hear the happenings. I loved just listening to people talk about their passion of growing things and quoting Wendell Berry without heed. I got to talk with a guy who works with a group who helps people convert their lawns into urban, neighborhood gardens. Sigh. I could see my dream for a commune/farm/hostel/happy-gathering-place blooming before my eyes. I will grow things, I will spend my days in the dirt- whether that means on my windowsill or on some acreage. Life is all about community, people! Community and really good food that you know the name of who grew it for you. and really good books, life is about that too. and naps.

tonight, driving home, it was so pretty I almost liked the snow.

I really like going to the gym and working out while watching trashy tv shows. Tonight: the Bachelor and some of True Beauty. Fantastic. A funny thing happened while I was running, the dude next to me started talking to me and I was like, dude, I am running and have headphones on- why are you talking to me? He commented on us being the only two people still on treadmills, he commented on how many miles I ran, he commented on me not taking a break while running. um, okay, I am so glad you are impressed with my treadmill skills, but the headphones are still on dude. :) It was just kind of funny (and don't let my sassafras fool you, I was very nice to the intrusive man. Just let me run fool!)

****addendum to previous story*****

Yeah I totally screwed up my Thor story and left out the part that made it funny- The faux Thor, seeing the burglar, and realizing the prime opportunity he had before him, you know, being dressed like a god and all, charged the robber while brandishing his shield and sword and screaming a war cry that could be heard to Olympus. That is what made the robber hop out the window.

hehe.

my mouse always drifts to the left...slowly and with utmost certainty, it always moves to the left. I am watching cold mountain, such a sad movie. and crafting by the fire. I went outside real quick to get something from my car and the moon was so bright and beautiful. It made me wonder at how distracted I get in the inside of my house, working, playing, watching tv, that I forget how pretty it is outside. I can't remember what I was reading but yesterday, while reading this inspirational yet non-memorable text, I was struck with the possibility of life, that I can do whatever I wanted, that the rules that govern my life could be what I decided. Like, I could live with only what I need, I could open my home to whoever needs a safe place, I could be poor and happy, I could travel and learn from different people, I could feel free. and I could live under the moon.

Heard a great story:

A man came home to his apartment to a burglar robbing him. The robber, upon seeing the man return, was filled with fear and jumped out of the window. The man had just returned from a costume party and being over six foot tall and dressed like Thor, the god of thunder, had, given the robber's response, the desired effect. Apparently the robber had had a few drinks and was completely taken aback by the fact he had invaded the home of Thor. Amazing. Could you imagine a better opportunity to be dressed in such a costume?

I love Saturdays. I have committed to not getting out of my pajamas today. I am on the couch surrounded my blankets and books and I am going to snuggle until it is time for bed again. lovely.

My first week back has been a good one, lots of work to do but I made good leway. Andrea, who I work with, actually whispered when I was talking to a patient, "she sounds so grownup." Yep, I guess I do.

I am just chillin, nothing more to say.

oh and my theme song for 2009: Don't Stop Me Now by Queen

(I really love Queen but recently watched some live videos of them performing and decided I like to just hear them and not see them otherwise they kind of creep me out)

she'd say "I be a lady"

Today was, in the word's of Mary, a life maintenance day. Bills paid, errands run, laudry done, room cleaned (ish), etc etc etc. I must admit I feel a little anchor-less as I prepare to re-start daily life. I am not quite sure why. I have been trying to figure out what I can do to make my life (mostly my long work days) feel less draining and exhausting. At the end of most days I feel like I am searching for something to give my day meaning or purpose besides work. Mainly that search ends up with me watching TV too late into the night- which, you know, provides lots of meaning for my life. Speaking of which, I should probably turn it off and go to bed. I am also trying to be a person of greater integrity. For me, I think that means speaking my mind about what I can and cannot do, not avoiding conflict (this mainly means that I avoid things that I think may possibly create conflict or may result in someone saying something I may not like, projecting my own anxiety and insecurity on ANY situation that I feel the least bit unsure about), being honest and straight forward.

I think I think too much.

I am going to go to bed and read fluffy literature of no substance so my dreams will be equally fluffy and insubstantial.

what a difference a day makes

Today has been funny. Acutually yesterday was pretty funny too. Okay, I admit it- its always funny when I am around. (Funny- not necessarily fun)

Act 1: Christa in flight.

Today I missed my flight. I thought it left at 12 (I am looking at my email that says it was to leave at 12- I was not wrong) and when I got to the desk at 11 am to check in she said I was booked on a flight left at 10:42 am. WHAT! So after much typing on her computer she found me another flight on Northwest that would get me to Denver just an hour later. cool. But then I had to go stand in another line (I had been in line 1/2 hour already- you know, which made me miss my flight) and in that line the lady behind the counter got really confused and had to call the help line and was confusing me and scaring me and I thought I would get stranded in Detroit indefiniately. Finally she got me sorted and sent me through security where I was selected for a high security search where they went through all my bags and did the whole pat down shin dig. sweet. Once in Detroit I had ten minutes to get from gate A20 to A75 (see Christa run). I made it. Once in Denver I met up with Eric and we were going to bust a move and head to the nuggets game that night. But the baggage claim was so so late that they apologized and handed out vouchers for flight discounts. Finally we got the baggage and rushed to the game. phew.

Act 2: The Game

Megan received these sweet tickets from someone at church. The tickets were for the Nuggets/ Hornets game (the Hornets made me nostalgic), front row club seats and the tickets included 20 bucks each for concessions. Holler! The waitress came to ourseats, took our orders and brought us our food. If that wasn't exciting enough- its was 80s night. Everyone was decked out in mullets and day glow leotards. And...wait for it...VANILLA ICE PERFORMED AT HALF TIME! I can now die, my life complete. It was incredible.

Act 3: Back to Work.

I refuse to write this section. I don't believe in working.



I laughed a lot over the holidays and it was wonderful. I love people.

A year is but a blink of an eye...

A year in review. I recently realized that this will be the first time I have stayed in one location longer than a year, the first time since college, which doesn't really count because college is transition and moving, so really the first time ever that I have stayed in a place longer than a year. And I think it will be a good thing.

Here is a quick recap of 2008, first lines from the first blogs of each month.

January: again i am seized by a feeling so distinct and rare... i know exactly what i need to do.
February: i need a nap, a long one. maybe for a couple days.
March: eric and jessa and eli are moved in, things are being re arranged and un packed still but it is lovely to wake up to other voices and to have so many lovely people around.
April: tomorrow i am running the health shop solo. lets hope all goes well. i have my minimum training and a large amount of b.s. to help me sail through sat and sun. excellent.
May: yep, its May 1st and its a blizzard outside my window. what is wrong with Colorado?
June: so i am back from vacation and back into the routine.
July: pictures include: tall towers, the dragon, Ethan (who is ridiculously un-scared of heights), stain glass windows
August: Our adventures included:Picnicking in Boulder, Celestial Seasonings Tea Tour (thus the hairnets), exploring my favorite antique store, Hiking and a lovely breakfast on Mom's birthday, and a rainbow at the end of the trip
September: Jessa is nesting and I am sitting on the couch.
October: So as many of you know I like to instantly commit to some idea, career, or random inspiration.
November: There is a group of people that when I return to them I feel like I can see myself better and better recall who I want to become.
December: i cried a little.

and for the future- a bit about 2009:

Year of the Ox
Theme song: TBA
New Project 1: Marathon
New Project 2: Make Friends

I am ready for summer.

wait, what?

okay, so its December 15th. Like, really close to Christmas. And it doesn't feel like Christmas...at all. I think this mainly has to do with the fact for the first time in years I am not 1. working with kids or 2. helping to organize Christmas themed activities for a non-profit organization (aka making elf costumes with Bell House in the 'Mosa). I still have my elf costume. In an effort to evoke Christmas I declare that I am going to wear it. Everyday. Until Christmas. I have also decided to, in this moment, make gingerbread houses for Eric and I's joint birthday/ graduate student "yay-the-the-semester-is-over" extravaganza. Really the time to accomplish these tasks does not exist (Christa's work schedule: Tuesday 8am-8pm, Wednesday 8am-8pm, Thursday 8am-3pm Party=7pm) but, you know, some things just need to happen.

Friday was supposed to be my "celebrating the life of Christa" day but it looks like I may have agreed to do work related activities that day. I have no resistance to any request. Crap.

My life has been really uninteresting except I work a lot. And have been feeling pretty overwhelmed for the past three weeks. Its getting better, however. 2009 is the year of the ox or bull. This, apparently, means it will be a year dedicated to hard work and working hard. This, apparently, is a good thing if you know what you are working for but difficult if you don't. So I am going to figure out what I am working for or toward, so as to not be caught unawares. I will keep you posted.

I love fiction and stories. I happen to work with a lot of people who say they have a hard time reading fiction and I have to just look at them baffled and bemused. I cannot comprehend choosing non-fiction over fiction. I mean I have enjoyed my fair share of non-fiction but in no way does that trump a good work of fiction. 9 out of 10 times I will choose something completely made up over something that may possibly improve my mind.

yep. I will be home from Christmas Eve and fly back to Colorado on January 3rd, with a visit to Josh, Katrina, and Amelia (yay!) from the 30th to the 2nd.

Once I Had An Open Heart

http://www.slvdweller.com/index.php?/archives/2008/10/04/The-Government-Seems-To-Have-A-Hard-Time-Passing-Bills-About-Things-That-Are-Free.xhtml

Full-length video for Katey Sleeveless' song "The Government Seems To Have A Hard Time Passing Bills About Things That Are Free." Song written and performed by Katey Sleeveless. Directed by Katey Sleeveless and Eric Shiveley. Filmed and edited by Eric Shiveley. Edited on a TRS-80 Katey found in an abandoned rail car.

something to say

I sustained my most dramatic sewing injury this saturday. It is not uncommon (at least for me) to sew through my finger every now and then. Usually it is through a small bit of flesh, the needle pops in and out, no harm done but yet another piece of evidence collected for the case against a graceful Christa. However, this time the injury was a bit more dramatic (and, I think, humorous). I allowed my left middle finger (darn it for being longer than my other digits) to get a wee bit close the the sewing needle and the needle did indeed puncture my finger but it punctured enough flesh to cause the end of the needle to break once it exited the other end of my finger. Ow. Thankfully I was quick to pull my foot off the pedal but closer examination of the situation revealed that my finger was essentially trapped against the sewing machine, the broken end of the needle acting like the barb of a fishing hook. The nearest pair of scissors were in the middle of the floor and I couldn't move my finger due to the jammed bobbin (thus preventing me from using the thread cutter on the back of the machine to cut myself free). Yeah. I was home alone and finally figured out a way to stretch across the to the scissor without moving my poor little finger and scootching the scissors closer with my foot(10 points for a graceful Christa. A slight tangent: I have come to the conclusion that I am very capable of grace and coordination but only in uncommon circumstances, like scrambling boulders or precarious sewing situations. Please note that I managed to rescue myself AND not get any blood on my project). Once free I ran downstairs, doused my finger in peroxide and proceeded to remove the strands of thread from my finger. I almost wish I had taken a photo because it was so bizarre looking. The finger is healing well, though it may be suffering from PTSD and looks as if it had a violent run in with a mini vampire.

♫ http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/c0cf508ff8/prop-8-the-musical-starring-jack-black-john-c-reilly-and-many-more-from-fod-team-jack-black-craig-robinson-john-c-reilly-and-rashida-jones

i cried a little.

Happy Living Gathering Place

There is a group of people that when I return to them I feel like I can see myself better and better recall who I want to become. These are my fellow americorp-ites. Last night I went up to Boulder to hang out with Rachel and to see Rhonda, from the valley, play some music. Annie, Rachel, Rhonda, and I sat on Rachel's front porch, listening to Rhonda's music and chatting about the Valley. When we got to the place where Rhonda was playing - lo and behold- Muck and Kelsea appeared! Glorious Surprise! Rhonda was an amazing performer, her songs humorous and authentic. After she was done we returned to Rachel's to yet a again chat about the good old times and dream about future endeavors.

Rhonda

Rhonda is one of the most amazing and lovely people I know. I am by no means a close friend of hers but I love any time I spend with her. She seems to know herself so well and is not afraid to be herself. She lives on a mountain, working only enough to get what she needs (dog food and beer), and being content. She is real and honest.

Katie Bird

Our conversation, in the discussion of all things Alamosa and unique to the valley, we arrived upon Katie Bird (now known as Katie Sleeveless), an enigma. She is a musician, a squatter, an independent soul, a female bob dylan, a revolutionary, in all ways a mystery. She lives out in the country side, with but a few belongings, making her way with her music. I don't think this brief paragraph will describe her at all adequately but I think an introduction in person is the only thing that would clearly give one a picture of who she is. In this house she is squatting at (with permission of the owner- the house is literally falling in on itself) she got the water turned on but there was no outside picket for her to water her garden. So she went to a nearby church and asked if she could tap into the church's puquios (an ancient method of irrigation via trench). The church said yes and so Katie, with the help of many, dug a very very long trench from the church to her house. Here is a music video filmed of a party on the day she opened the puquio to her house- classic San Luis Valley. ( Ack!I cannot find the video. I will try again later to find it and load it, cause its amazing)

okay, Yo-Yo Ma is on the Colbert Report and he is a god. My evening is complete.

What is my reality?

The new receptionist that we hired (number 6 in two months)is a really, really nice girl. who is a colorpuncturist. and reads auras. I love the people I work with. They talk about stuff that I have no idea about. Apparently my aura is blue (sweeeeet) and I need more violet in my life, which will make me more in touch with my intuition. I should wear more purple and carry around amethysts (conveniently, which she is selling).

I did some research online to figure out what she was talking about. Here is one interpretation of my aura -->
Blue: Balanced existence, sustaining life, eased nerve system, transmitting forces and energy. People with blue strong point in their Aura are relaxed, balanced and feel ready to live in a cave and survive. They are born survivors. Blue thought is a thought about relaxing the nerve system to achieve the balance of the mind or a thought about surviving.

I am totally ready to live in a cave!! Bring it on! If I could just forsake all of civilization and go be a hermit in the woods I would totally do it. The only thing holding me back is that I really like people. and don't like the cold. So I will become a recluse in some tropical locale.

I have recently been oozing creativity and sewing productivity. I ventured into the scary land of knits...with only slight success. I mean, I made the dress but I don't know if it is actual wearable in public without drawing mocking comments. I will probably wear it anyway.

Since my diet revolution (which, I think, is best typified by my coffee grinder being used only to grind up flax seeds rather than coffee beans) my baking skills have been abandoned. Recently I have been determined to create tasty, healthy baked goods but have had little success (mostly these baked goods turn out tasting like very very heavy nothingness) But I have stumbled upon a new blog that has provided the perfect inspiration for new recipes - www.elanaspantry.com. This lady has some fantastic recipes and lives nearby in Boulder.

So I adapted her honey cake into a lovely carrot cake- I was kind of making it up as I go along, so keep in mind these measurements are an approximation.

Santa Clara Carrot Cake

1 1/2 cups Almond Flour
1 1/2 cups Oat Flour
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 tsp Cinnamon (I just dump it in until I am satisfied it is fragrant enough)
1 tsp ginger
1/2 tsp all spice
1 tsp grated lemon rind (you can never add enough lemon, in my opinion)
1 1/2 cups grated carrots
1/2 cup agave nectar
1/4 cup oil (grapeseed or even olive oil)
2 eggs
1/2 cup buttermilk

Combine all dry ingredients, mix well and then stir in the carrots. In a separate bowl combine the agave nectar, oil, eggs, and buttermilk- mix well and combine with dry ingredients. Pour batter into a 9 in round cake pan. Bake at 350 degrees fro 35-40 minutes. You could also through some walnuts in there too.



Before the cake hit the oven.


The First Slice -YUM!!




My most recent knitting projects- hats with tassels! Eli rocks it out.

I find myself all too amusing

This is a fake bio I wrote for myself for work's website. Marcy liked it so much she used it as my real one.


Christa has recently escaped from the muggy southern region to the lush, vivacious state of Colorado. Her journey to the west began with a year-long search for purpose in Alamosa, Colorado, where she was a dedicated and driven Americorp volunteer, and has concluded with her delightful discovery of the Whole Health Center in Denver. At the Whole Health Center not only has Christa discovered gainful employment and solvency but a revival of her spirit from the peaceful work environment and excellent co-workers. Christa received a degree in Sociology from the prestigious University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. She also is cello prodigy and has performed, to standing ovation, in Carnegie Hall. In her free time Christa constructs stories of fiction and fancy, tames wild animals with her cheerful singing voice, works at the loom, and is an ambassador to Turkistan. You will be able to recognize her from her luxurious wheat colored hair, dazzling smile, and effervescent charm.

So as many of you know I like to instantly commit to some idea, career, or random inspiration. I dive into the idea, try it on, swim around in it, and, generally, ultimately, reject it. But a girl has got to try a few things on before she settles on it. That being said, I have rejected my nursing ambitions (I think we would encounter the same issue of a super-drained-and-exhausted-Christa very quickly)and am still contemplating some sort of nutritional consultant/ food guru-ness. But tonight I want to be a teacher, elementary school please. I could teach children to read, be creative, be nice, and how to paint. And during the summers (holler) I could work on farms, be an outward bound instructor, go to other countries, build my dream house on my dream farm, have general adventures. What a delicious idea. (And I would really like teaching kids and be good at it, so it wouldn't be quite the selfish "I-am-becoming-a-teacher-in-order-to-have-the-summers-off" scenario- almost but not quite). All I need is a fairy godmother-ish poof to grant me an insta-masters in education.

Today the destiny-magic-8-ball-gods-of-the-ipod gave me a great theme song for the day: We've got a groovy thing goin'- its so true, I do have a groovy thing goin'.

I had this really bizarre dream last night,one that I woke up from and thought to myself, I should write this down, it is so bizarre and brilliant. And I did write it down. And my general impression was, wow, this is bizarre, sick, and kind of twisted. Thus I won't pass it on here except to say I think my brain is a little cracked.

I am putting forward a motion that all people I love and like need to move into the same neighborhood. This is inspired by how delightful my currant communal situation is and while I don't want to live with everyone I like in one house, I want everyone I like to be nearby. So please take note and everyone move to Denver post haste. Thanks.

Eli and I spent some time together Saturday night,practicing our car sounds.

Tonight I was driving home on my mountain road and took a minute to debate whether or not I should turn on my brights. I hesitate to do so because once they are on I often forget to turn them off when I see another car. I decided to flip them on and low and behold, there was a buck, a giant buck in front of me. I slowed and he went on his way, but I think if I hadn't turned on my brights I would have hit him. I am calling this a moment of divine intervention.

I am a word person but not a speller. I know lots of good words and if something happens to you and you are at a loss to find the proper linguistic structural elements to paint an accurate picture-I am your girl. You want to move beyond the realm of creative spelling-I am definitely not your girl. I like to say my creativity rebels against the constraints of traditional spelling. Really, I just don't pay attention. Marcy, my boss, is a stickler for proper spelling and grammar and thankfully she finds my constant spelling transgressions charming (I won't even get into my counting issues). Today (the names have been changed for privacy purposes) I brought up a ticket for a customer and wrote the name as Taya (supposed to be Tanya). Marcy points it out to me, we laugh, I correct the mistake and go back to work. Later she calls me up again, gives me a look, and hands me back the ticket I corrected. Yeah, I wrote Tayna. I mean, you would think that I would get something that simple correct. Yeah, no. Dyslexic much?

I am going to bed early and WILL NOT BE LATE TO WORK TOMORROW! (I wasn't late today but really don't want to be late tomorrow)

I drove up the mountain late this morning swigging kefir straight out of the bottle like a lush on a park bench. today is my day off. I have completed my two essential sanity returning activities, acupuncture and the library. I love the library. I am going to make myself a shirt. I am actively not planning on doing anything else all day. maybe sit in the sun, i like doing that.

I went camping with the Vineyards this weekend and it was lots of fun. There was lots of off roading, sitting around the fire, and freezing. It was a beautiful spot. We tracked down old mines, said hi to donkeys, and climbed hills. Jessica, Chelsea, and I left a little bit early today and did some exploring and it was amazing! Here are some pictures and video.













Chelsea is an amazing driver.



yeah that's me squealing at the beginning.

Sometimes when I am at work I feel like I am in a zen episode of the office. I mean, I think it is inevitable in any office, any small group of people working together, that this will occur. But today I was in the middle of a conversation that went from essential oils, to mold in your stomach, to crystals, to goji berries. And I looked into the camera with Jim's look of disbelief. These folks revert to their secret language that my suburban upbringing did not prepare me for. As I sit and think about it I think I am most like Dwight in this scenario. I really think they should make a reality show about us. It would be amazing. I would watch.

Jessa and I have discovered something amazing and instantly chic. Rub-ons. Its like insta-graphic design on any object that you desire to enhance. Except yourself, I tried that, that didn't work.

My mind was full on the way home but there is nothing left for me to share here with you.

what do you do with a four day weekend?

Read, sleep, sit...and make costumes. And the lady at the fabric store didn't think I could make it in one day- fool! I am the original costume maverick (well, that is a bit of an overstatement, but I've got skills)

please view and enjoy my new most favorite thing ever:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/28343/dr-horribles-sing-along-blog

Today on NPR I heard a story that made me laugh so hard I almost had to pull off the road. As duck hunting season approaches duck hunters have to get permits that are in form of a stamp. The government printed up lots of mailings advertising the number to call for these permits, 1-800-22STAMP. Except they accidentally printed 1-800-22TRAMP. They say its too expensive to send new ones, so the duck hunters will simply be surprised by very, very friendly ladies answering their requests for stamps.

Today the mountain is cold and cloaked in fog, I ran errands this morning, and am sitting on the couch, eating soup and cornbread and reading. Delightful.

I also have been brainstorming ideas for this years batch of Christmas presents and came up with some excellent craftiness. Its going to be amazing. I am so excited I oozing with enthusiasm.

I wonder what will happen tomorrow...

okay,I am still on the couch, watching "How To Succeed in Business without Really Trying" and am suddenly and overwhelmingly longing to be in a musical. Sigh. I even looked up auditions (none that look small town enough for me to actually get up the gumption to go). Alas, I was meant to sing and dance my way through life. Maybe I will write a musical, base it on Whole Health Center.

Jessa is nesting and I am sitting on the couch.

I suddenly and miraculously find myself gifted with a four day weekend. I don't really know what to do with myself. I shall begin with sitting.

At work we have these viles, I don't really understand what they are for exactly, but that they are used for allergy testing and various things. My favorite one is labeled ANCIENT ISSUES and there are others for each emotion, types of food, plants, molds, and organs. Well yesterday, in normal Christa fashion, I dropped and broke kidneyx30 and the magical liquid within spilled all over my dress and legs. oops. I got kidney all over me. I am not sure what will happen, I am waiting for side effects.

On to the adventures of the day!!

I have worked 125 hours in the past two weeks. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

We have been doing training on new software at work and the training takes place early, early in the morning via conference call. Office meetings are notoriously ridiculous but conference calls, they take the cake. We all sit there, huddled around the phone, straining to hear each word. When asked a question we all just look at one another, waiting for someone to answer until finally someone spits out a terse, one word reply, like the kid who got sleeping in class and doesn't have a clue what is going on. I love it. I try not to giggle as I sit through this inane hour of instruction week after week.

I am about to bust it donw to Alamosa, chasing after my friends who left 9 hours ago. I thought last Saturday was the last Saturday I would have to work but it appears fate is not my friend in the unfolding of recent work drama.

I am exhausted and may even imbibe some contraband coffee to get me through this drive. More on Alamosa Adventures to follow.

Jessa and I just spent an incredible amount of time figuring out how to change the template of this very blog. The website (check link at the bottom) is sweet, with lots of very fun and very girly backgrounds. I may change my background more than I blog.

Eli has a new pumpkin hat that I intend to steal (borrow)from him. It fits on my head just fine.

This morning there was an incident with a cat attacking Vashti outside our door. I hurried outside when I heard her yowling and saw the evil predator. I tried to "shoo" him away but he wouldn't budge so finally I picked up some pine cones and began throwing them at him. (I started to throw my shoe but then I realized I didn't want to go get them after I threw them and they were my new turquoise ones). On my sixth pine cone I was suddenly struck by the notion that maybe this isn't a stray house cat at all but some sort of wild-animal-bob-cat type. hmmm. I threw more pine cones anyway. Finally the gigantic cat went away and Vashti was safe. I did some research on bob cats while at work and I am glad that I saved Vashti before realizing that I was pelting a wild animal with pine cones.

I am very tired and have much working to do, I feel like every day I just go to bed and get up again and work some more. I need to squeeze in some fun time!!

but now I have to go to bed.

Anyone with fun, please ring me post hast.

I am so glad I am friends with myself

I do a lot of stupid, clumsy things in public and find it extraordinarily sad when there is no one to laugh with me...for example:

I headed to the gym Tuesday evening after my second thirteen hour day of work this week. I hopped on the treadmill and began running away, headphones in and water bottle balanced on the bottle holder thingy, since it wouldn't fit in. Yeah, my water bottle fell off and rolled down the treadmill, making a crashing noise and breaking the intense, focused ambiance of the gym where you should only be able to hear the thudding baseline of the music in time with your thudding heartbeat. The beautifully muscled necks of the sculpted runners on either side of me watched with amused disdain as I awkwardly scrambled after my water bottle as it continued to roll down the row of treadmills, like Charlie Brown's ineffective quest after the elusive football. Finally I saved it and, water bottle secured once again, I continued my run, pretending that nothing had happened. Until it did happen, again. I gave my water bottle a look of amused disdain and let it lie where it fell. I finished my workout with no further disturbances but as I walked away from the treadmill I opened the delinquent water bottle for a drink. I dropped the lid and as I bent from the waist to pick it up, I poured the entire contents of my water bottle all over the floor. Yes. I then had to ask the aloof yet beautiful man at the desk for a paper towel. He gave me an appraising look, I believe slightly miffed that I had interrupted his intense, focused conversation with a beautiful, sculpted woman in spandex. After a moment of hesitation, during which I just stood there awkwardly (is he about to yell at me?), he handed over a very large, even more awkward giant roll of paper towels that took both hands to lift. Dude, give me a break, I can hardly walk without injuring innocent bystanders and you want me to quarantine the disaster area with something I cannot pick up? Through determination, prayer, and much grunting, I successful removed all signs of my existence and slithered out of the gym, wincing from the withering glares that followed me. Sigh. Good workout Oakes.

I am sitting in a coffee shop in Boulder and its like the Easter parade through the window, so many people walking the streets today. I went on a lovely hike with Rachel this morning and am now enjoying the scenery and anonymity that Boulder has to offer. Such a strange little town that I suspect takes itself too seriously but nontheless I will willingly buy into the facade that today I am a little bit cooler because I am hanging out here, with my laptop and obscure literature. I hope they don't throw me out when they discover I am wearing synthetic materials and not Patagonia.

There is no new news, just the delicious ritual of each new day.

you are single handedly destroying both my love of showtunes and of mountains.

Amy and I climbed Bierstadt today, Amy's first fourteener. It was a great day, good weather, good company, good climbing. Until our descent, when we were mercilessly stalked by a quartet of girls who could not, like sensible people, refrain from expressing their enjoyment of the day in song. Now, those who know me well know that I am no snob, I can appreciate spontaneous public singing (please refer to my brain child: Guerrilla Broadway)and I can appreciate show tunes and musicals (clearly). But when the stage for an impromptu cabaret is the trail down a 14er and the collection doesn't stop at one appropriate round of 'The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Music" but continues through the entirety of the Sound of Music, Fiddler on the Roof, Phantom of the Opera, and a medley of Louis Armstrong....Ladies, please! You need to learn the art of timing, intonation, and moderation. I won't even begin to discuss their attempts at four part harmony.

I have recently developed a phone voice. My voice has captured a gentle, lyrical rhythm as I repeat my scripted greeting, ending in the monotone flatline of a heart moniter expressing certain death. I have become that receptionist. But it is so hard to resist and now that I have realized this tendency, every phone call is an opportunity to satarize myself.

Hyperbole is my M.O.

Amy is in town, we've had fun exploring, watching the Olympics, hanging out, and nertzing. Glorious.

My cat killed a mouse. Good kitty. She left it on the deck. Bad kitty.

I am exhausted to the point of delusion. I hopefully have a good night of sleep ahead but you can never know. As it is I am done with work but have not found the energy to get up from my desk to exit the building. I am working up momentum to get out the door.

Amy found me cute blue moccasins at the thrift store. They have brown cordory on the inside and are delciously comfy. like a scallop.

Some of the loveliest things come in the form of mamas...

Our adventures included:
Picnicking in Boulder, Celestial Seasonings Tea Tour (thus the hairnets), exploring my favorite antique store, Hiking and a lovely breakfast on Mom's birthday, and a rainbow at the end of the trip!

Fourteen Rabbits and Big Black Snake...

is what wildlife I saw on my little hike this evening.

I was kind of tired and grumpy all day and was really done in when I had an encounter with one of my neighbors on the way home. He pulled into the gate in front of me and I had already pushed the magic button to open the gate, so it swung wide to let us both in. I drive through the gate behind him when he stops his car and gets out. He is dressed in a kilt, beret, tall socks with plaid tassels, and has a dirk lashed to his leg. I roll down my window, smile, and say hello, but even before I can finish my greeting he brusquely asks who I am. Um, your neighbor. After brief questioning he finally got back in his car and I followed him up the hill. What pretension! I was like, dude, who are YOU? Crazy Celtic man. Go home and defend your lands and leave me alone. Grrrrr,dirk or not I could've taken him.


I am, finally, going to bed.

Truly, it is amazing how intoxicating it is to be honest and to speak your mind. I would like to think of myself as a bold person, but really I dread confrontation. I think it may be I fear that any sort of speaking out may draw criticism to myself, which generally I despise in my internal and eternal quest for perfection (what do you mean its not possible?) But there are delicious moments of peace, like the eye of the storm, when I can see who I am and what I want so clearly. And then life begins again.

I have the relationship experience of a middle schooler. In my shyness (?) or whatever of youth I seemed to have missed the practice grounds of dating during which most people seem to have worked out all the kinks (as I write this I really don’t think I believe this, I think most folks still have lots of kinks and if they don’t, I really don’t want to be friends with them). As much as I claim to just embrace the awkwardness of it all (what else can you do?), really most situations leave me a bit queasy. I feel like there is a secret language I lack (What are you really saying?) or some manual I need tucked in my back pocket to assist me. Either way, I am forging ahead and finding it all both amusing and exhausting. I mean people are really a funny breed. We preen, we prance, and we pause to see what the others reaction will be. Personal, I think Men should come humbly before the Throne of Woman (er, Christa), supplicating for the Privilege of Attendance. As I toss my Calculating Curls (short, straight hair),designed to bring Men to their Knees, I mercilessly sweep through the Sea of Beaus, my Heavenly Blue Eyes swiftly measuring the Worth of Each Brave (or fool hardy) Man (boy) that dares enter my Shining Presence. I’m a Man-Eater. (Cue music. Any other fair maidens want to volunteer to come live with me in my temple? I am currently arranging a few musical numbers and I need some back up dancers. Costumes will be provided).

I find my own wit to be devastatingly funny. Ironically enough, given this haughty tableau, I am really bothered by my dates paying for me. I cannot figure out if that is because I just feel uncomfortable with them treating me or because my sense of independence is affronted or because I have an underdeveloped sense of worth and don’t want anyone to go into any trouble for me. I will ask my acupuncturist.

I am trying to complete my supplemental reading for my new position. I was only on page 4 when I decided to take a break and write this and as I am doing so I am drinking contraband Chai. Sigh. Perfection will come.

I am the person who enjoys Christmas Eve more than Christmas, meaning I find the unfurled potential or anticipation of an event much more intoxicating than the reality. I think this is a symptom of my overactive imagination. All that to say, my imaginary, youthful picture of Adult Life seemed a whole lot nicer (and whole lot more like a musical) than the reality. Though Jessa and I did spontaneously sing a duet last night.

Other updates:
• Vashti is officially an outdoor cat, though I do listen for mountain lions in order to rescue her as the situation may require.
• Nursing seems to be my next most likely (take with a grain of salt for it is my 37th new life plan since February) career choice.
• Acupuncture is a God Send. Quite literally I believe it may be the foundation of my current level of sanity.
• I enjoy living simply but poverty is overrated.
• I planning to make myself a dress out of an old sheet. It’s going to be gorgeous.


I am going back to being completely and utterly productive for daylight cannot be wasted and there is much yet to be done.

I have recently been reading books that were made into great movies...Chocolat, The Painted Veil, and now Atonement. They were all excellent. I also tried to read the sequel to Chocolat, The Girl with No Shadow, but I wasn't two chapters into it before I was bored, so I didn't finish it, unfortunate but true. Atonement, so far, is my favorite. Its delicious.

Great news on my new position at work. A meeting yesterday revealed that the boss has plans for me to be involved in marketing and eventually be a patient manager or liaison, doing follow up and checking in with patients. Fun, eh?

A recent episode of hand holding reveals that hand holding may require certain technique by the initiator of said action, as the result was certain numbness in my fingers, loss of circulation, and sweaty palms. Yet no amount of awkwardness could take away from the overall sweetness of the event.


Megan and I have a sushi date this Friday, thank goodness!! It shall be divine.

The end.

update:

1. Recently they (um, the dictionary people) have added some new words to the dictionary which I love.

my favorites include:

Air quotes (1989): gesture made by raising and flexing the index and middle fingers of both hands, used to call attention to a spoken word or expression.

(oh the 80s)

Dark energy (1998): hypothetical form of energy that produces a force that opposes gravity and is thought to cause the accelerating expansion of the universe.

(cool, I always thought dark energy only existed in, like, star wars)

Fanboy (1919): boy who is an enthusiastic devotee, such as of comics or movies.

(is there no fangirl?)

Mondegreen (1954): word or phrase that results from a mishearing of something said or sung. From the mishearing in a Scottish ballad of "laid him on the green" as "Lady Mondegreen."

(classic)

Pescatarian (1993): vegetarian whose diet includes fish.

(that's me!)

Racino (1995): racetrack at which slot machines are available for gamblers

(why not)

i think i am the type of person that gets stressed out way too easily. good news, i have some new Chinese herbs called Happy Day that are supposed to work wonders.

I have a new job! (ish) Same location, Whole Health Center, but I am going to be a full time acupuncture assistant. Hooray! I am going to get even more training and only work three and a half days a week! brilliant! (two twelve hours, a ten hour, and a six hour shift) I am stoked. I am also applying for another job to supplement, when I get done I will probably be working 55 to 60 hour weeks. cool. this will all work, i promise.

yay. (she cheers in monotone)