I made up chinese medicine jokes this week at work. They got big laughs in the clinic but limited response outside of the clinic. Ahem.

Your Qi is so whack, that when you meditate your Qi thinks it's nap time.
Your Qi is so whack, it's more stuck than molasses in winter.
Your Qi is so whack, Fire gets confused and becomes the mother of wood.
Your Qi is so whack, it thinks meridians are longitudinal lines on a globe.
Your Qi is so whack, it thinks wind-cold is a descripton of the weather.

Haha!

I am in charge of the clinic music at work, which means that someone else loaded over a thousand songs and I recieve the complaints. Practitioners leave me little sticky notes expressing their opinions and I delete the songs. My sticky notes this week:

"#503- Am I at a Pink Floyd laser show?"
"Please remove songs 24-35 = ice pick in forehead"
"Music! 6:17 pm 6/26* Horribly depressing violin"

(*This practitioner never seems to get it that leaving me the time and date the song is played does not help me locate the song. I have no way at all of knowing what she is referrign to. However, in this case I think she may be talking about the Schindler's list theme, but I refuse to remove it, cause its my favorite.)

Newest addition to the Top Five Nicest Things People Have Said About Me:

"Trust me, you are the type of girl that knows instinctively how to hock a loogie."

Awww, thanks!


It is windy and cloudy after the blazing 80 degree day yesterday. But I am enjoying it so far, most of my annoying tasks are done and I can soon go home to sit and sew, which is the best things to do on cloudy days.

Quote that has been sitting in my mind:

"You must give up willingly you old pattern of living and live empty, for a while, until illumiation arrives."

you've wondered too far from the person you are, let go, brother, let go.

My time in the garden today has left me with two wicked blisters and an awful sunburn. Week three of summer and my sun awareness skills go out the window. At least I was wearing a hat.

Driving home today was like magic. Twilight and the air was full of fluffy white floating things. I would be in the shade and not be able to see a thing but then turn the corner, sun in your eyes, and it was magic. So pretty.

I am looking for life path, if anyone has seen a sign post or a map that says "Christa should go that way!" Please let me know. Thanks.

Today is my half birthday- 25.5 years. But if people ask I say 25. A little white lie but as you get older, women make these subtle vain lies. I don't think anyone can tell, I don't look 25.5, do I?

For my real birthday I am planning an imaginary trip to Brazil. You are all invited. I thought a destination birthday could be very, very nice and I want to go somewhere warm in December. Australia is too far so Brazil it is. Hooray! Let me know if you are coming. (Translation: In December I will be snowed in and glueing my face to a picture of the Brazilian Coast.)

I am exhausted beyond words. Why is my week lasting so long? I just want to curl up in bed with my book indefinitely. Alas, I must keep it short, for my work day beckons and there is much to be done. What does it say about your job when it would be a relief to be fired? How do I keep attracting positions like this. Oh, yeah, I don't say No, ever. Okay, I am going to take my imaginary nap and then back to work!

Dangling Conversations

Day = Awesome

Today Amy and I went on a lovely mountain hike (is it over yet? What we thought was five miles was seven. Good Heavens!) and then swooped into town where I worked in the community garden with the kids and Amy pretended to be a socialite in the Weston. Working in the garden is so satisfying. Every time I go I can't help but feel content and happy. I love the smell of wet dirt and I like being a part of this garden that has sprung up in the concrete jungle almost overnight. People gaze through the rod iron gate, wondering and watching. They smile as we say hello and invite them into the green haven that holds such a sweet promise of abundance. We saw one sprout from the melons we planted last week and the happy yellow marigold heads bobbed in the cool breeze. No sign of carrots but the tomatoes and cauliflower are happy as can be. Kids (they are young adults really, 17-19 year olds from a homeless youth/ transitional housing program) come and go, are often late and, at first, indifferent. But soon they are covered in dirt, planting, watering, and asking when they can come back again. I love garden converts. For this brief time, a parking lot has become Eden.

After gardening time was over, Amy and I scuttled to a Starbucks where I changed out of my messy clothes and we schemed on how to spend the next few hours until we were meeting Rachel and Annie for 'Away we Go.' We had dinner, we walked, we dodged raindrops (Me as we were leaving the house: You won't need an umbrella, it never rains here. Wrong.), we went to the Fancy Tiger-a fabulous fabric store, and had ice cream at Sweet Action. I had vegan peanut butter cookie, my new favorite. Then we saw 'Away we Go' which was lovely and endearing.

Other moments from the evening: a panhandler attacked a man on a bicycle right in front of us, punching him in the head - bizarre and kind of scary. Another, different bicyclist whistled as us as we stood in front of the movie theater. In the middle of the movie, someone dropped their beer bottle and it shattered. Ten minutes later the same thing happened again. Clumsy much?

Tomorrow: Boulder, Sunday: Road trip to Breckenridge with wineries, mountain towns, and breweries on the way.

Last night Amy and I made delicious samosas that would a real Indian cook would refuse to eat. Problem 1. Whole Wheat crust. Problem 2. Baked not Fried. Problem 3. Lots of Vegetables and not as many Potatoes. But so so yummy. mmmmm. I ate too many and now my stomach is crazy upset.

I believe in bug Karma. Every bug you flush down the toilet I believe will at one time re-emerge and get you. Eek! Beware when you are your most vulnerable!

I was at work the other day and started contemplating if we had office Olympics what the events would be. Speed Filing. Speed Needle Removal. TDP Lamb relay. Vault Jumping Over the front desk. Needle Javelin throwing. Shelf Stocking Race. I would win that one. We have every space of our back office utilized and all day I am climbing on stools and using THE CLAW to grab things. I have become quite dexterous and light on my feet.

Speaking of light on our feet, Amy decided we should do some off trail rock scrambling on our hike yesterday. And we successfully navigated some treacherous looking rocks and felt satisfyingly hard core.

We saw a BEAR! In our driveway. It was small and a little anticlimactic. But YAY!.

Dear deer

yeah, this is really funny too.

I felt incredibly amusing today, which was a nice change. Good to know my funny bone is still intact. Of course, my perception of my own humor is incredibly biased. I believe my cheerful mood is entirely due to Amy's presence.

Happenings:

1. Someone deposited a 1980s old-school treadmill in the parking lot behind our building. Right in the middle of the road, so you have to skirt around it to get anywhere. I like to think it was deposited there by aliens in the dead of night.

2. Speaking of aliens, in my work place, when discussing the recent disappearance of the French airplane over the Atlantic, aliens were legitimately brought up in the conversation as an entirely plausible explanation.

3. I was recently recommended a herb to take because my practitioner had a dream that it was what I needed. I, of course, am faithfully following her prescription.

4.Amy and are watching Oklahoma, my favorite musical. I am anxiously waiting for my netflix's to deliver a newer version of Oklahoma starring Hugh Jackman. Stop my beating heart.

5. Hypochondriac Alert

Symptom: Chronically Chapped Lips
Might be:Exfoliative inflammation of the lips
Which is: an incurable condition of unknown cause
Or could also be: Cancer of the Lips
Things to obsess over: What your face would look like after lip removal surgery
Most likely its just: Being allergic to the world and a refusal to stop eating chocolate

Ha! My new favorite recipe.

I find the library immensely satisfying. My latest find, Rufus Wainwright singing Judy Garland at Carnegie hall. Amazing.

Amy is coming and I am incredibly excited!

I do funny things. Sometimes I step back from the situations I get myself into and think, wow, this is truly odd.

Example, my boss asked me last week if I wanted to stay in his house while he is in Mexico.
Christa:Sure, no problem.
Boss: Oh, and Christa, Sue (his cook/friend/lady that lives with him and his wife) may or may not be there. Oh, and Christa, you made her mad last time. Hmmm, what was it that you did to make her mad, don't do it again.
Christa:Urp, um, okay. What! (cue insecurity and automatic self-doubt) I made her mad? What did I do? Oh no! (analyze every word and action displayed while with Sue for the four days before I go to stay at house)

Last night after work:

I spent a lot of time stalling before I head to Boss' house. I think Sue will be there and I don't want to 1. upset her 2. scare her 3. become even more uncomfortable than I am now. (I must say here that Sue is a marvelous, wonderful person who I like a lot but don't understand- major cultural differences and language create barriers for me to hide behind) Marcy and Andrea offer up pointers, such as ring the doorbell, so you don't scare her and hypothesize various awkward situations (last time Marcy was alone with Sue, Sue sat and rubbed her feet for an hour. Nice, but also kind of strange). Marcy also points out the irony that Boss meant to ask me to his house to help me be less stressed but in the end is creating more stress and I am now doing yet another thing for the sake of other people that I don't really want to do. Awesome.

So I arrive at Boss House and, in the pouring rain, go to the front door with my bag and ring the doorbell. Twice. No answer and the house is dark. Options: Sue is already in bed at 8:30 pm (not unlikely), Sue did end up leaving town, or Sue is trying to tell me to get lost. I take a phone poll and the unanimous decision is for me to let myself in through the garage door. (I could have let myself in all along but didn't want to presume or scare Sue). Once inside, I hear the TV on, the dishwasher and washing machine running yet no sign of Sue. There is a bucket of water by the couch, presumably for soaking feet while watching trash TV, but no Sue. I call out and do a quick sweep of the house, but no Sue. I am now convinced (cue thunder and lightning- I am suddenly in some sort of Ms. Marple Mystery) Sue is going to pop out at me any minute. I give up my search and tiptoe upstairs to get ready for bed. At every noise I jump, sure that Sue is going to appear and yell at me for my unknown crimes.

The story resolves itself very anticlimactically- Sue was out to dinner with friends and returned at 10 or so, after I was already in bed. I suspect a repeat of these events this evening.