my debut with the sea wolf mutiny

The Sea Wolf Mutiny at the Evening Muse, Charlotte, 11 pm

Cover is $5

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I AM SO EXCITED!

How you live your days is how you live your life

This is a totally satisfying practice suitable for such a rainy day. I keep adding to this list and I find it affirming when I put something on there twice by accident, thus revealing how much I want to accomplish said task. Some things are silly, others far-fetched but all I propose to accomplish. I find perusing this list to be very motivating.

This is what I have so far:

learn Spanish / learn German / keep a garden/ learn to can/ play the ukulele/ own a typewriter/ learn to rock climb/ learn to dance (swing, tango, waltz, tap, etc)/ hike the App. Trail/ live a year (or more) in another country/ wear a homemade clothing/ make a pair of shoes/ make my own cheese/ write a novel (or two)/ illustrate my children’s book/ write a cookbook/ run a marathon/ build my own house/ build a green house/ build a tree house/ live without driving a car for a year (or more)/ be good/ buy land of my own/ write a song/ build a bed/ build a bookshelf/ reupholster something/ grow my hair out really really long/ have children (lots)/ paint all my walls the color of my soul/ wear flowers in my hair/ canoe from somewhere inland to the ocean/ explore an island/ learn to kayak/ design my own fabric/ make a short or a documentary/ play the electric cello/ go to nursing school/ do doctors without borders/ be a real citizen aka vote in an election and understand everything I am voting on/ visit the white house/ visit the Smithsonian museums/ go to Egypt and see the pyramids/ go to China/ make my own bread/ own goats/ compost and maybe even have worms/ be fearless/ roller derby!/ make ugly cakes filled with love/ jump out of a cake/ be in a musical/ write a musical/ dance in a field while wearing a white dress/ make my own wedding dress (get married?)/ learn yoga/ journal/ stop eating sugar/ do street art/ stencil/ climb the Himalayas/ go to India/ go to New Zealand/ learn the healing properties of herbs and plants/ tutor reading/ memorize and play a cello piece I am scared of/ master scales

Observation

It seems physically impossible for me to leave the house. I keep sitting here, my things are by the door, but I never quite make it. I have convinced myself that everything I need to do can wait....this spells trouble.

I'm awake

For the first time in like, what, 5? 6 weeks? I feel awake. Something in the pollen has shifted, Praise the Lord! So what am I doing today? Getting my crap in order, my sad, neglected, ignored crap. I am going down the list because I am awake and ready for nursing school. Can you hear me screaming? Oh, right, that's just in my head. I am a little worried about how all of this is going to come together, but come together it will. I have a list.

Recent Events:

- Christina got wed, completed with girly sleepovers, tree climbing, singing "Going to the Chapel", and blissful send-offs.

- I am reading every book Madeline L'Engle ever wrote.

- Dan's band is playing in Charlotte! April 1st, Evening Muse. I will be playing too! Come hear us kids!

I am having one of those days where my ability to make light of every situation and laugh at myself is failing. With each opening flower bud and each ray of sunshine, my state of health decreases. As the wicked witch of the west was destroyed by water, so I am being destroyed by spring.

Things I have done during the day seem like a dream when I remember them. And my real dreams mix up all of the things of my day in a wild and disturbing manner that I don't wish to recollect or relive. What could be so disturbing. I will introduce you to some of the cast of my dream last night: larvae. Need I say more?

Things are pretty.

Okay, so I just attempted my first Etsy treasury, mainly because I loved Jessa's onesie creation (see the first item). This was exhausting. I am sure I can find better ways to spend my time, but in the end I am quite pleased with the collection and aesthetic balance. Hooray for Mondays!

I don't want to jinx it, but I think my cough is almost gone. I have used only one cough drop today and have spent only 17.23 minutes in the act of coughing. I am afraid to do anything other than sleep and drink tea, for fear I will throw my body back into immune system havoc!

What is most ironic, I thought to myself as I stared through the locked door of my car at the car keys on the seat, is that 10 minutes ago I said aloud, What would make this day suck is if I lock my keys in my car. And then I did it, thus sealing the fate of my afternoon. Things that happened while locked out of my car:

- I played chicken with a hawk. I kid you not. This giant bird swoops down from the sky right toward me and I just stare at it. I am wondering, is it aiming for me or am I just in its way? Can it not see me? Where is this giant bird headed? And then, when I could see its talons, I ducked. Now I know I have a tendency towards hyperbole, but I am so telling the truth. Hawk Bird Vs. Christa. Hawk Bird won. I knew this once I found myself cowering under my bumper.

- A woman asked where I was from in Colorado and somehow, in our 6.15 minute conversation, I told her my entire life story. Not sure how that happened.

- I calculated how many times I locked myself out of places in the last 12 months: car - 5, apartment - 2, house I am babysitting at with kids inside - 1. I think I need to go to locksmith school.

- My ears are ringing. Because I have an ear infection, like a three year old. The doctor told me that my lasting illness is actually allergies. And then I got an ear infection. I am so so so tired.

- Locksmith shows up and tells me his life story, with dramatic hand gestures, while I look at my watch because its time to pick up the baby from Spanish. Apparently a psychic, who he opened (unlocked) a door for, was phone stalking him. And, you know, he likes thick girls but not THICK girls (this is the first thing he tells me. my question: who are you and why aren't you opening my car?) so, he is going to have her number blocked. And she won't stop calling him (I have to pick up a toddler in 3 minutes). Finally I tell him I have to go pick up my little girl (the church is in walking distance) and I go get Emmy and we have a lovely walk while he finishes breaking into my car. Which, if you ever wondered, Subarus are hard to break into.