last night i saw a falling star....or a plane crashing, i am not sure which.

photos by Tiff

there is a dilemma. last week i decided that when working with the children to error on the side of compassion, because i had had some incidents of being extremely firm and it did not make me feel good at the end of the day. but now i have changed my mind again. because compassion didn't necessarily work either. so i don't know where that leaves me.

i want a new tattoo and am very very excited about it. it is drawn on me and the more i see it the more i like it. i hope it will signify and remind me to live intentionally and with purpose.

when i came to the coffee shop this morning they knew who i was and how i liked my coffee. splendid.

i am having trouble regrouping after last saturday of work and i am not sure how to make myself okay by three today. i am starting with a book and coffee.

i borrowed megan's bag and everytime i see it here beside me i instinctively look up and around for her but she is not here, clearly. silly me.

jessa, eli, tiffany, and i went to boulder yesterday and spent the whole day browsing without finding anything--or what i mean is we mainly stole ideas we could do ourselves. i love doing that. and Eli is such a gentleman, sigh, so sweet and such great company.

do not be ashamed of the miracle inside of you

This week went by very quickly but i find myself completely devoid of brain power or energy now that i have reached the end. yesterday (saturday) was not a good day for me.

Thanksgiving was lovely and quiet and cozy. perfect really. i like being relaxed with people i like and just hanging out and talking and being silly.

i am so glad its the weekend, sometimes it feels like i am holding my breath all week and then suddenly i can breath again.

i am wearing pink tights today and i feel like a super hero who decided to use her superhero tights in an everyday outfit, Edna 'E' Mode would be furious.

the sky is very blue and mountains white. mountains are pretty.

we watched the old dr. doolittle and geoffery holder, who plays william shakespere the 10th seemed so familiar we imbd'ed him and he was punjab in annie!! ahh and the narrator in the new willie wonka.

that is amazing. even more amazing, the lady next to us said her little girl did not want to watch the new dr. doolittle on the way to grandma's house this holiday and she said she would walk instead of watching it and since grandma's house was only a quarter of a mile away they let her. good choice little lady, the old version is the only one worth watching.

and then that makes me think, how crazy is it that you watch movies in your car, i mean on one hand ingenious but on the other hand i really loved car trips because of the time spent reading, coloring, watching the scenery, and listening to books on tape (and fighting with my brothers) are the next generation of children going to be completely devoid of creativity and imagination? i weep for you oh children of the new millenium. throw out your portable dvd players and ipods and make your own plays and your own music! oh for the computer illiterate days of old!
come on people!

also, how awkward are spontaneous coffee shop conversations where it becomes obvious one party was eaves dropping on another and then you feel psuedo obliged to keep talking after the inital comment was made. er, okay, stop talking to me now. the same thing happens on airplanes. this mom and her daughter had matching black, knee high boots and they kind of scared me.

my spell check isn't working (speaking of the curses of computer assistance) so please forgive the inevitable errors.

so while typing in the web address for facebook the other day i was off by a letter and was transferred to the most humorous website. www.facdebook.com

it's logo/ catchphrase is 'what you need, when you need it' but the list of things you might need are as follows:

russian bride
mail order bride
dating service
christian singles
cheap car rental
russian wife
russian woman
find friend
chat

i mean really.
amazing. you can rent a car and get a bride.

tiffie and mohegan are fantastic. its rather startling to realize how few days megan and i see each other. like, we hang out thursday, friday, saturday and thats it. we might see each other days but mostly we just see the shadow of each other. now tiffany is our link.

however they just conspired to throw orange peels at me in a public space. really ladies, friendship over. stop laughing.

i am feeling restless, tired but i cannot sleep, a bit anxious. zardonne. and i don't like it. and i don't know how to fix it.

i am very excited abou the holidays though. i have recipes planned, am thinking about where to put the christmas tree, what i want to do for my birthday, all the lovely people i will get to see soon (i.e. my fab fam)

someone thought i was someone else today. this happens to me a lot, as i have joked often (too often) i am the universal friend donor. i remind everyone of someone else they know. this sometimes makes me feel vague and unmemorable. how interesting to be someone that always evokes memories of someone else but not yourself.

i like being good at everything i do but do not feel good at my job, which i am hoping is just in my head but either way its humbling, a feeling i am not comfortable with. i think i need to spend some time with humilty for a while. just sit with that reality that i don't know everything nor am i good at everything and i (duh) have some serious failings. sigh.

i will write later when i am in a better mood. i think the lack of light in the world does not have a good effect on me. i need more vitamin d.

tiffany is here and we have had a splendid time playing thus far. activities of yesterday and today:
walk in the park
food on the deck
broadway thrift stores and antiques
lunch with jessa and eli (who also hung out with us on broadway and beading)
bead store
caribou to watch megan work
drive by of downtown

so far so good. it is great to have her around and we have been scheming about crafts all day.

i just drank a caffeinated beverage and i already have the shakes, excellent.

i think i am the only person in this coffee shop right now. splendid.

i watched munich last night and thought it was great. the first time i watched it was very very confused because there were people wall papering while i watched it, very distracting. Megan, i out one netflicks dealio in the mailio, so it is not lost, fyi)

i am feeling very reminiscent of Prague this morning, mainly i think because so much of my time in Prague was spent in coffee shops, thinking and reading and writing, which is what i have been doing this morning.

i woke up naturally at dawn this morning, which i take to be yet another sign that my farming destiny is awaiting me. where is my land! oh where is my land!

and i looooovvveeee coffee. it is happiness in an inanimate, edible (er, sippable) form. delightful.

nope i was wrong there is someone else here, he just sneezed and scared the bajeezes out of me. i am wearing earrings i made (thank you shawna for inspiration, always) as usually i am inordinately proud of myself. well done, oakes, well done.


i googled 'very important things' and this website was the first on the que.
http://with-gusto.livejournal.com/

apparently he takes old ads and writes sometimes funny sometimes not funny onion-esque blurbs to them. my favorite is june 10th 2004.

i am very disappointed in this year of being 23. i had great expectations for it. but now that it is almost over i cannot really recollect anything of significance that has occurred. shame. and, as i was discussing with friends earlier this week, the number 24 disgusts me. really. 24 is too fluffy, symmetrical, pink, round, and even. ugh. i may make up a new number/name/symbol for that year of my life marked by the number that may not be mentioned. from now on it shall be @$. on december 18th i shall turn @$. excellent.

i am reading an excellent book that gives me goosebumps and makes me wonder in awe at God. there is so much i do not know.
"He has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?" Mic. 6:8

My Father is a genius. No, really. he has saved me many times this week, from giving me directions when i am lost (for serious, he asked me where the sun was, uh right in front of me dad, then that is west, ahhhhhhh. the moon is on your crypt side) and fixing my wireless connection all the way from NC. Is there no end to his greatness? truly, i have an amazing gene pool.

My cat is a reflection of my life: a disaster. a story of Vashti who is also known as Kitty, Stinky, Pookie, and on occasion, Toilet Cat.

Part One: The Cat Burglar

One day lady one* and lady two* lived in a house in the mountains with a cat named Mirabelle* lady one and lady two were puzzled because Mirabelle was not eating her supper and usually this particular cat has a particularly insatiable appetite. The two ladies puzzled over this mystery without finding a solution.


However, one day lady one and lady two came home from work to discover that the cupboard where Mirabelle's food was stored had been opened and all the food bags were opened and rifled through!


oh my, said lady one. yes indeed, said lady two. we have been greatly deceived in the character of this kitty, lady one and lady two said together. without another word the two ladies set to work cat proofing the cabinet. tupperware is a beautiful thing the ladies mused.


from then on, though Mirabelle tried oh so hard, the kitty food was safe from the kitty. (until the clever kitty learned how to knock the plastic containers to the floor, thus effectively removing the lid and spilling the contents)



*The names in this story have been changed to protect the innocent

Part Two: Random Acts of kitty violence


The toilet paper massacre is not an uncommon sight in the mountain home, when the kitty gets in touch with her predatory roots and attacks all things unsuspecting and fluffy.

The destruction of mosquito netting and the capture of an innocent doll.


yes, she may look innocent, but mischief illumines all her features.

i am sorry for my lack of blogging my wireless internet thingy is not working and i have to get a new one, add it to my list of things to do.

yesterday i went and hung out with the youth group at first plymouth, which was a lot of fun. i like kids and hanging out with kids. for a moment i thought, oh my goodness i cannot relive the horrors that was highschool but then i reminded myself that i am now confident and capable and not (as) socially awkward. geez christa go start a conversation with an eighth grader and everything was fine. the youth group is also excellent because they play some of my favorite games, like sardines and ultimate frisbee.

megan is applying for a job at the tennyson center and i really really hope she gets it--it would be amazing for her and then i would pseudo replace her by getting a part time job at caribou and thus we would both be happily happily employed and productive.

i have decided that i can only be truly happy if self employed and living on a farm.the end.

i have been having these bizarre and kind of scary headaches that enable the hypochondriac within me to freak out (brain tumor? vascular disorder?)There is a point in my childhood where i distinctly recall wishing that i had cancer or some disease (morbid and selfish, i know) so that i could do what i want without feeling like i am trying to live up to someones expectations - everyone would just say, look at how well she is doing, its a miracle she is alive, and i could be gently heroic while self-righteously, arrogantly acknowledging that i would not have to explain any of my plans, choices, or decisions to anyone and i could just live, because that would be enough.

megan and i are having a coffee shop date and i have missed her so so much! i am glad that we have some overlapping schedule time.

i think we are both really tired, megan more so.

my cat wakes me up every night between three and four am, it is very confusing and i just lock her outside of my room where she cries the rest of the night. i have dreams that the cat is actually a child that i work with and i am trying all my strategies to figure out what is going on with this child/cat to figure out why they are acting out and being agressive and negative towards peers and authority figures. Vashti, what is going on in your psyche? do you need a therapist? stop stealing food!

i keep lamenting the state of our social life but megan has reminded me that for being here two months we have done pretty well. true that. and Tiffany is coming to visit and i am very excited about showing her around the mountains.

i spent a good amount of time painting yesterday and it was fantastic. i am amazing (please note that this is a sarcasm laced comment)

i must now return the computer to mohegan. peace.

hello. i blogged a bit ago but inadvertently deleted the whole thing. boo. now i try again.

the cat is stealing food: story to follow

my halloween was deliciously low-key, with Jessa and Eli and soup and Charlie Brown and a nap on their couch pre- Megan pick up. Lovely. I am really tired but thankfully have a bit of a day to re-coop today before my saturday marathon shift that just about kills me every time.

yesterday a black cat walked in front of my car and i saw and old school hearse with a man in a tux with a ruffly shirt driving it. fantastic.

i got some new books at the library, i plan to read them all very quickly, hopefully. i have a huge stack of books i want to read but my reading has come to a stop recently. i need to hop on that.

i feel like i usually have a lot to say during my week and i am like, i should blog about that. and then i forget.

i am going to make polenta gnnoci today--i will let you know how it goes.

at the gym today, the man made me do pushups and i almost died. like my arms were moving millimeters and i was counting it as a pushup. meanwhile some super woman was doing pullups like she was born in the gym. i silently loathe her. i may or may not have collapsed on the floor, i cannot confirm nor deny. thank God for my sense of humor which enabled me to peel myself off the floor.