Wednesday, December 20, 2006


Birthday Spa Pictures:





Christmas Party elf pictures (do you see how many costumes we had to make!!!)


well, its official, I am a prime number again. To tell the truth, I do feel immensely smarter now that I am 23. I really really like the number 23. and you know I haven't been prime since 19 and won't be again until 29. So I am going to savor this 23. I can't explain why but I think this could be my favorite number. fo' real.

so my birthday was made fantastic by my Alamosa crew, they did a home spa theme, hilarious, we watched movies, the Bell girls made me breakfast of banana chocolate chip pancakes and we went out to dinner. Carman (my house mate) took me on a surprise road trip to Monte Vista where we went to Mudpuppies and he bought me coffee and beautiful yarn of my choice!!! Hooray!! It was lovely. and then it snowed. :) Thank you for the lovely apron Katrina, the cello strings mom and dad, the fun calender, Amy, and all the lovely cards.

I cannot wait to see my family. only a few days more, hopefully, hopefully the snow storm won't prevent me from getting to Denver.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Well the week of holiday insanity is over and I have but to glide through this next week until (!!!) I (!!!) see (!!!) my(!!!) FAMILY(!!woot!!). I cannot wait. Our cocktail party gig last night went really well, though my exhaustion and my depreciated thinking power after eight PM caught up with me a bit in the last ten minutes of playing. It was really swanky, but with neat people (they invited us to try all the cheese and wine they had set out and several really nice people talked with us), mostly doctors. And their house was this great little cottage with bright yet tasteful wall colors and really great art. Also, there is nothing like playing Bach and overhearing operation discussion ('Did it puncture through to the bone?') And though we were playing for free (because they bought us at the Charity Ball auction) they gave both of us a $50 tip!!!!!! Hooray!!! But, interestingly enough, you know you have had a change in lifestyle when you have $50 of free spending money and you can't think of anything you really really want or need. I mean last year I would be off to anthropologie in a hot second. but I think I am going to use it to buy fruit and veggies, because that is an indulgence I usually cannot afford. I either eat at the shelter or eat peanut butter and honey. This change in perspective is also noted by my appreciation of another delicacy, cheese. I love cheese, but it is so expensive. I ate a bit of Stilton and Brie last night. yum yum.

After playing, Joelle and I went to fort night where we played games, built and slept in a fort of our own construction with all the volunteers. I already have an architectural design in my head for my new living room. Because la puente owns it I am planing to install some eye hooks in the living room that will be suitable for assisting in sturdy fort building. oh yes. oh yes.





and tomorrow is my birthday and I am planning to wear my super hero cape all freakin' day long.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

It is crazy busy here in Alamosa, I think we finished all the elf costumes we had to make, now I just have to get through two music gigs, a giant christmas party with santa for 400 kids, and then FORT NIGHT (aka making forts, yes!!!!) I am super excited and cannot believe that I have been so lucky as to find a group of people as passionate about forts as I am, I mean truly, it is a miracle. I should do a sociological study, looking for a correlation between those who are service oriented and those who have an affinity for fort making. interesting...Pretty much everyday this week has required jumping from one activity to the next, I have made so many lists to keep my head on straight because every morning when i leave the house i pretty much have to take everything i need. so today that inculdes a change of clothes, my cello, music, and a pie recipe. and a little dash of sanity I have stored away for weeks such as this. For all the choas of this week, next week has no programed activites (except for a viewing of little miss sunshine, a hair dying session, MY BIRTHDAY, dinner at the brew pub, and finishing making Christmas presents) cool, so i take that back, still really busy. I can't wait for vacation!!!

Saturday, December 09, 2006

i have received some birthday packages and cannot decide whether or not to open them......

Friday, December 08, 2006

Today at work there was a little girl who said she could speak english, spanish, and chinese. I said 'Chinese? really, wow, say something in Chinese for me' She responded, 'Chopstick. Lo Mein. and Beef and Broccoli.'
So the saga of not enough hours in the day continues....last night after work Rachel picked me up and I recorded a cello bit to one of her songs that she was recording with Aaron (recording is interesting, you are hear all your mistakes), anyway we stayed until one AM and then hot footed it out to the country where she was house sitting and went to sleep only to find the morning came all too soon. after a quick sip o' coffee i am back at work...and already wanting this day to be over. but after work I have scheduled craft time and open mic night. i definately need a nap. something fun, though, this morning i learned how to make sopapillas, and thus my mexican cuisine knowledge continues to expand....

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

In response to Lauren's blog, which has no place to comment:

I miss you both so so so much!!!

Monday, December 04, 2006

Dad, you would be so proud, yesterday we played football in the park and I am not lying when I say that some of my throws drew gasps of admiration, yes, it is true, your early lessons of football throwing are still rooted within my being. It was a fantastically fun game (we played an hour and a half) and we had wildly creative plays with great names like the 'double rainbow statue of liberty with fake handoff' or 'the rainbow post' or'tic-tac-toe' or the 'flea flicker'. Our team name was the saber tooth tigers. I don't even know who won, but I do know that we had a fantastic trickery fake out at the end. Kelsea hid my frisbee under her fleece, and after she said hike, she wipped out the disc, tossed it to John while the rest of us spread across the field in rainbow formation and John threw the disc to Muck, who was in the end zone, scoring a ridiculously fabulous goal!! HOORAY!! alas, the other team was very confused and footbal soon dissipated into an enthusiastic, though short lived, game of four on four ultimate. I still got my frisbee moves, even pulling out a highly successful hammer. yes sir, It was a fine day of organized sports.


after that we had hot cocoa, went to the director of La Puente's home for cookie decorating and christmas movies, and then went to Weekends Bar for birthday Karoke for Rachel, where I conquered fears of singing in public and sang, with Rachel, Dixie Chicks 'Long Time Gone' John Denvers 'Annie Song' and Lady Marmalade's 'Moulin Rougue' it was ridiculous. and i played pool. it was fun. and today is a day of magnificent crafting and christmas present making (my room looks as if my craft box vomited its contents all over the place. its fantastic)

and that is a play by play of my weekend thus far. the end.

Saturday, December 02, 2006


and lastly, a snow picture...
Last night was the charity ball and it was interesting and fun (mainly because the volunteers were all together) There was a dinner(Highlight: Kelsea finding crayons and a toy mini moses in a tree, we colored on our programs), than an auction(Highlights: Carman and Muck imitating the auctioner and listening to yourself being auctioned off (I was part of two of the auction packages, dinner and musical concert went for $375 and wine and musical concert went for $300)), and then some dancing (I was first on the dance floor) and I was home by 11:15 and went to bed, only after trying on my new running shoes I ordered online (from steepandcheap.com, thanks Jon!!) Overall, it was a fun evening and now a jam packed weekend is ahead, with two rounds of christmas cookie baking, a football game in the park, and birthday karoke for Rachel. Oh also, today Alamosa highschool won the state championship in football, 47 to 0, ending the season undefeated, a crowd of 5,000 showed up for the game (more than half the size of our town!) Way to go small town spirit.



The Hat I made



Joelle and I


My new sneakers

Thursday, November 30, 2006

if the clerk at the butcher shop is 5 foot 9, what does he weigh?

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

We finally have our first real snow...it kind of melted during the day but now is falling hard again and is beautiful. I will post pictures soon. If I were in NC the entire city would be shut down.


and so a quote that I love and find very comforting since I don't like not knowing everything. ahem:

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.

Rainer Maria Rilke

Tuesday, November 28, 2006



How is this for blogger productivity, three times in a day. It is curious, I think its probably true that my blog exists 98% for self-affirmation and showing off my self-proclaimed cleverness (it comes and goes) and 2% for family and friends to know whats going on with me (on a whole, pretty much 100% self-centered) still, i like it, so comment away friends and shower me with admiration and verbal applause (whats the point of beating around the bush about what this is really about *wink*).






Because I firmly believe that your life can never be too busy, Rachel and I whisked ourselves away from the valley for the weekend, meeting up with the Vineyard family in Evergreen for a much needed break from life as we know it. The drive was beautiful and we had a great time playing nertz, making creme brulee (Rachel has the picture of Jeff with his blow torch, not the culinary kind, the welding kind, finishing the final touches on the dessert), and running away from scary, huge pigs that roam about the house. I also got to clean stalls!!! and was very brave, chasing pigs with a broom, hanging out with the horses, who kept trying to tip and eat my wheelbarrow. silly horses. Other exciting highlights, Beau Jo's 'mountain pie' pizza, cute shops in evergreen, and Target. and a drive home that was breathtakingly beautiful (me: "Rachel, the camera, take another picture, wait look over there, oh my gosh, its so beautiful, wait, look at that" and so on)

so enough words, here are some pictures:








Thanksgiving came and went with such speed I can hardly believe that it is less than a week until December. It was a blur to say the least. The feast at the shelter went well, but my favorite part of the day was when most of the volunteers got together and watched Gery's Anatomy and Home Alone that evening, oh and we ate puppy chow (remember Dan, that sugery goodness in chex, chocolate, and peanut butter form, yummy!) Phew. Now we have a super busy three weeks of events, parties, fundraisers, and christmasness before the blessed event of my family returning to Colorado!! Hooray! (and I will be turning 23 on the 18th; there are many (5) December birthdays, so i am not sure if i will get to have a party all to myslef....hmmmm....I am thinking of having a scavenger hunt....)

Emmy, Rachel, and I faithfully (wo)man the office


Saturday, November 25, 2006

What row of numbers comes next?
This is a tough one!
1
11
21
1211
111221
312211
13112221

Friday, November 24, 2006

For you, a riddle:


It's more powerful than God,
more evil than the devil,
poor people have it,
rich people need it,
and if you eat it you'll die.


what is it??

Monday, November 20, 2006

What Hero would you be:

I scored as El Zorro.



Zorro is the bane of the corrupt officials of Old California, a Spanish Robin Hood, a cavalier caballero who robs from the rich, gives to the poor, and always leaves his trademark "Z" behind as a reminder that when the people need him, he will always appear on his black stallion.

William Wallace 67%

El Zorro 67%

Captain Jack Sparrow 63%

Indiana Jones 63%

Neo, the "One" 63%

The Amazing Spider-Man 54%

Maximus 54%

Lara Croft 46%

James Bond, Agent 007 38%

Batman, the Dark Knight 38%

The Terminator 29%

www.quizfarm.com

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Two funny little things:


1. A lady that I met at the benefit concert (the smallest little woman i have ever seen, tini tiny with a huge tall husband, both sweet sweet people) told me after the concert that she had something to bring me. So the other day, while at the office, she came in and handed me a little package. I opened it and it was a little statue of a girl playing the cello-she said she had had it forever and had been waiting until she knew someone who played the cello to give it to. Isn't that precious?!? Its now on my shelf.
2. I just met a man named Abe in the coffee shop who interrupted my writing to tell me his life story. Fascinating and also sweet, he owned a restaurant for 25 years and 3 months and had to sell it and now, he says, its going down the drains. But he had met Johnny Cash and June Carter, who came to town just for his restaurant and Johnny ate, sang with the juke box, and played pool. and Abe got his autograph. ah small towns!



New item: I am transitioning to a new job in La Puente, managing and leading work groups, i think it will be perfect for me and i am really excited. And I will be moving into a new house right next to the shelter, which should be interesting...

Tuesday, November 14, 2006


So our benefit concert went very well last Saturday. We had an ok showing, about 50 people, but the best part was everyone's positive response and we have had an offer to perform at the college, as well as in a coffee shop. Plus a local guy wants to record one of the songs we did, one written by one of the staff of La Puente about coming to the valley (he said he had a tear when the cello came in, thats me, the cello) anyway it was all very exciting and we raised a good amount of money, with much potential for more funds in the future. and i actually sang in public without humiliating results. Other funny things, I almost hum while I am playing, its so weird and i can't really stop it, but when i am concentrating really hard on my playing, my mouth opens and i unconciously hum, not even along with the music, just atonal noise. interesting.

its been cold here, we have had snow this morning and sunday morning too, though it all melts by noon. It is beautiful.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

for general amusement:
a pre-halloween debate between Keirsa and myself:

Keirsa:
The Inverse Ninja Law states that the effectiveness of a group of ninja are inversely proportional to the number of ninja in the group. While a single enemy ninja is often portrayed as a significant threat to the protagonists, a large group of ninja are significantly less of a threat, and as such are easily defeated. This is sometimes applicable to other close combat–oriented minions as well.

so basically, i'll be unstoppable against all of you silly pirates.

Christa:
Tom foolery, my friend, what brand of grog you be drinkin' to think you may best this band of pirates, whose wit and skill in fighting, though not drapped in black like a ninja, can out-fight, out-drink, out-dance, and out-house any opponent, whether it be a ninja or ninjies. i fart in your general direction.

Keirsa:
one cannot expect a mangy specimen such as yourself to fully comprehend the intelect, subtlty and art that comes with being a ninja. the crass and vile nature of your comments were expected, though utterly without base. were my intentions not so cold and calculated, i would take pitty on you silly fools.

Christa:
I will warn you not to underestimate a 'mangy specimen' such as myself, though I may not be a refined, pompous ninja snob with the diction and syntax of one who has been socially isolated in the mountains for many a year learning skills that will be of no use and outdated once one decends said mountain. I, rather, have honed my skill by sailing the seas and skewering contemptible wretches who make gratuitous threats. I have no more time to waste on you; your ninja sidekick would have no effect on my pirate booty.

Keirsa:
for my rebutal i would like to cite the most authoritative source of information on ninja history, realultimatpower.net.

in 440 C.E. "two ninjas kill an entire squadron of pirates and don't even think twice about it."

Christa:
A gentle reminder that a pampire is a completely different from a pirate. I concede that, perhaps, the most excellent of ninjas might have at one time defeated a squadron of the weakest and most poorly oraganized pirates (who had probably been celebrating after a successful looting expedition and were wasted, poorly disciplined brutes), but that has no bearing on the fact that we are pampires. higly disciplined and organized pampires, a more sophisticated, elite, and secret band of ne'er-do-wellers. This history tid-bit is meaningless and will not have any sway in the battle we will have tomorrow after nightfall. Prepare yourself.

so yesterday morning, in lue of our normal all-staff monthly meeting, we all took an abbreviated meyers-briggs personality test. Fascinating results- There are four categories on which you are measured and upon completion of my test I was an ENFX(the X signifying that I was tied on the last category) which made me fall between two categories, a teacher or a champion, and I was supposed to discern which category fit be better. PLEASE!! Clearly I am a champion, was there ever any question!! A Champion is, in brief, "Warmly enthusiastic, high spirited, ingenious, and imaginative. Able to do almost anything that interests them. Quick with a solution for any difficulty and ready to help anybody with a problem. Make connections between eveents and information quickly, and confidently proced based on the patterns they see. Spontaneous and flexible, often rely on their ability to improvise and their verbal fluency." Any way, the confounding part is that being a champion put me in the same group with Carman and Guy, who are machisimo, mafia-esque, uber-dudes who are able to talk their way in or out of anything[A characteristic of a champion gone wrong, actually, is manipulation and being able to talk your way out of anything(I sum up, they both have excellent qualities, just not many shared with me)]. Vhat!?! Everyone sort of did a double take when we stood together. Interesting. Really, I think I am the true champion and the boys just wanted to be champions too so they skewed the results. I just don't think I am a teacher,my insides resist at being labelled (a characteristic of a champion: 'They have a strong need to be independent, and resist being controlled or labelled') something so passive and patient sounding (honorable, amazing, and, i am not going to lie, a bit boring). Anyway, I am sticking to my guns, I AM A CHAMPION! so watch out world, Champion Christa is on a quest!


(Other interesting fact is that my broader category was an idealist(shocker) which means, according to our proctor, that in Harry Potter I would be Harry, in Sex in the City I would be Carrie, and in Star Wars I would be Luke. Heck yes, I am the Star! Notice that all the characters tend to be a little, um whats the word, whiny and, not gonna lie, a little annoying. ouch. (but still the star!)).

Thursday, November 02, 2006

I cannot believe it is already November.

I am ready a book about women empowerment (or somethingalong those lines) and suddenly I am reminded of my childhood self, in that i am ready to fight, ready to challenge, and generally my level of mischeivious inclination has greatly increased.
Interesting. Watch out people, I am in a fiesty mood, to be sure.

I met a woman who bought a bus on ebay and lives out of it; the inside is gutted and lined with belongings, a bed, and a wood burning stove, among other things. And she is from North Carolina, Raleigh to be exact. cool.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Today I dressed up like a Pirate when I went to work, oh yes I did, and it was amazing. Funny thing though, after work I took a shower, put on a skirt and had to dash back toward work to pick up my paycheck. When I climbed the steps, a community dude remarked 'hey you look like a real women.' huh. My response was'how would you like it if this real women gave you a swift kick to the side of your head.' no not really, actually i said, 'no, i always dress like a real woman, just some days it takes a real man to notice.' no, for real i said 'haha, the power of a shower.' How Lame. the power of a shower? come on now, my life is so much better when I re-write it post-facto.

Amazing Thing: apparently you can use your americorp money to go on a NOLS backpacking trips. say what! I am totally pumped. There is one going to INDIA! to hike in the HIMALAYAN MOUNTAINS!! right after my americorp programs ends--a little more money than my americorp reward, but i have already emailed them to ask about financial aid and airfare--hopefully they will see how brilliant i am and give me lots of money. and then i can go to INDIA for a month. If that fails, there are definitely more affordable ones in the US, so either way--Backpacking-a-go-go!!

Another option, volunteer on an international organic farm, i am not kidding you, they will give me money to do that--how about a farm in Cambodia? or the Czech Republic? The options are endless.

Other fun plan, there is an adventure race in the Adirondacks in NY-a crazy 24 hour race, that i could never do on my own (Run a marathon, bike 100 mi, and then kyacking) I might split it up with Keirsa and Kelsea though, Keirsa runs, Christa bikes, and Kelsea Kyacks. Sounds good to me. And then we can go celebrate in NY City. woot woot.

It never hurts to dream big.

p.s. this is me as schmeegor, the pampires assistant (a pampire is a combo Pirate/ Vampire, a schmeegor a combo shipmate schmee/ igor, get it? watch out for more creative combos)


a wampire, a pampire, schmeegor, and a coffip

promised red hair pics

Saturday, October 28, 2006

i now know someone whose name is True Love. I am not kidding. True Love.

Tonight is a Halloween bonfire and I am super excited about my costume---expect pictures soon.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

mark one off the list, i have died my hair red. Well, really i think its more auburn with red undertones, so not a crazy shade of red, but this is the gateway hair dyeing experience. Next time, we go a shade darker. its all about baby steps. (sorry no picture, i will post one shortly, though Shawna recorded the process on facebook)
I am looking forward to a Halloween bonfire this weekend, plus a dress rehearsal for the benefit concert we are giving. I am super excited because Rachel just asked Joelle and I to sing along with her on this piece that is intended for choir that she had been singing alone. It sounds really beautiful, if i do say so myself.
I have been exceptionally busy, what with work, rehearsals, halloween costumes, and hanging out with folks. I think I will need some major alone time soon or I am going to crash big time. and some sleep, sleep would be good. Maybe next weekend.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

So we threw Nora a beat street birthday party last Saturday and it was lots of fun with the minor exception that the pictures proved to me that indeed dancing, especially me dancing, is better suited to dark, dusky venues. Alas, the kitchen of Monterey house was all too well lit. Oh well, I get a double dose of fun, the fun of the party and then the fun of chuckling at my ridiculous, black-mail worthy photos. And you ask why I am not posting any here, tsk, you should know better, my vanity can only take so much abuse.

disappointment = wanting to work out on a rainy day, getting to the gym only to realize that it is closed. bummer.

Kiersa made an enlightened remark the other day, that this is the year to do all those things you said you would do but never have acutally done. I like this idea and think I can get a good number of my life list things accomplished this year (please refer to the entry of September 21st). Hmmm, where to start.

It was really good to see Dad and Danny again, we had a good time :)


Saturday, October 14, 2006

Yesterday was Friday the thirteenth and while I am not a superspicious person, it was not my best day. It was not due to opening umbrellas, black cats, ravens, or broken mirrors that my day was bad, it was salmon. Yes, that delectable pink fish that is supposed to be so yummy that I don't think i can ever stomach again. I did not eat bad salmon, rather, Nora and I decided to make salmon patties for dinner, along with our delicious roasted veggies. but what we did not realize is that canned salmon still requires you to sort through the fish flesh for bones and skin. I think I could handle gutting real fresh fish better than the procedure of sorting through 16 cans of super processed fish. yuck. we only made it through 13 cans before Nora and I both fled the kitchen. but i still had to go back and spend couple hours frying them all up in a skillet, which (nothing to do with my cooking, i swear) filled the entire shelter up with smoke. oops. thank goodness the weekend starts tomorrow. (p.s. even though Nora and I couldn't eat the patties, they were a hit, folks gobbled them up while I prayed no one would choke on a bone).

Monday, October 09, 2006

Well, Mom and Dad have just left and it was so good to see them. We hung out, chatted, ate, took a cold train ride to Levita, rode around in the country, poked around in shops, drove to Monte Vista, and had many group hugs. How I will miss them! But, lucky for me, I will get to see Dad and Dan next weekend- it is truly an October of Oakes.

Life is going well here in Alamosa, despite my tooth-less admirers and those pesky life questions. Today for lunch Mom, Dad, and I went to eat authentic Mexican at Marquez's. After getting our tacos we went to the salsa bar and loaded our food with fresh cilantro, limes, and salsa--I thought I was putting a harmless pico de gallo on mine (confidently following my lead and assurances it was mild, Mom followed suite) but the first bite introduced an excruciating level of spiciness to my taste buds and reinforced the truth that i am a gringo. Whodoggy! Mom was panting and I was about to eat my napkin when Dad rescued us by ordering more tortillas to re-establish equilibrium in our mouths. Yikes! The pain was only truly over after some Dairy Queen.

now i must leave, for a converstation with my brother awaits me.
dear megan stop. i am sorry i do not blog more stop. i miss you and will be very eloquent stop. love christa stop.



Lost by David Wagoner

Stand still. The trees ahead and bushes beside you
Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,
I have made this place around you.
If you leave it, you may come back again, saying Here.
No two trees are the same to Raven.
No two branches are the same to Wren.
If what a tree or bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows
Where you are. You must let it find you.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

today i did my hair in my new favorite hairdo (aka i have ten minutes to get ready and get to a meeting. Coffee Please!!) I don't have my camera otherwise I would have a visual to give you...but it consists of two nubbins on the back of my head and my scarf from prague wrapped around my head several times. yes! I am a twenty-two year old with the hair-do of a toddler. Let your inner child out to play once in a while, i say. Ahem...i would also like to announce my first successful batch of bread in the mountains, there is a lovely loaf of bread on my counter right now. woo hoo! And my Dad will be here soon! Jubilation! Today I was reminded of something Becca commented on, that I leap out of beds in the morning. It is true. Today I lept out of bed and hit the floor running. okay bye.

Monday, September 25, 2006

There is a bee trapped in the window beside me. He keeps buzzing around and colliding with the neon 'open' sign that is housed in the same window. If the bee could read he would be very confused.



Yesterday Shawna, Emmy, Alex, Angelina, and I took an impromptu hiking trip up to Zapata Falls. It was more of a nice walk than hiking, but I felt very adventurous since we opted to walk up the stream bed rather than take the trail. We leaped from slippery boulder to slippery boulder, defying death in order to view the falls inclosed within tall rock walls (or rather, we easily hopped from stone to stone, occasionally getting our feet damp). It was lovely and lots of fun. The view of the surrounding snow-capped mountains was breath taking and you could see all across the valley.













Every time I get on the computer I have the same routine, I check my e-mail and then go through all the blogs of the people I know, in alphabetical order. Then I attempt to write my own blog, but usually by the time I get to my own blog I just miss everyone so much I am throwing myself my own personal pity party. Lately I have admired everyone's ability to express their emotions so well via blog, I myself am an extremely self-conscious blogger (unless I am feeling particularly witty) and find the process of decoding my mind too tedious and all too revealing a process for me to willingly undergo. However, I know from past experience, that if I fail to undertake the decoding process then I will spontaneously implode, stunning innocent bystanders with the sticky emotional goo that results from a rupture of my soul. So, how is my soul? Still processing lessons from the summer, still undergoing to reworking of my heart that will never be complete (a simultaneously comforting and disconcerting thought), still uncertain of many things. Weary of being on guard but unsure how to be more open. I think I am bad at being open because I do not like feeling weak or acknowledging my weakness. bu this is all old news, just reocurring. My spirit is constantly undergoing flashbacks and regressions. I have the emotional and relational maturity of a third grader.



The bee is still stuck in the window.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

As many of you know I am very good at coming up with large-scale plans and dreams for myself, that I have at least five potential life scenarios running in my head at one time. All that to say I have composed a list of things I want to accomplish. I know I have done this before, but I think this list is shorter than the last (due to memory loss rather than accomplishment of items on the list) ahem...

Things I Would Like To Do:
Learn to Tango and Waltz
Memorize and Perform a Cello Concerto (in front of actual people)
Hike the Appalachian and Colorado Trails (in one go)
Get a Masters Degree (in something...)
Learn Arabic, French, German, and master Spanish (dare I add a slovic language?)
Milk a Cow
Run a Marathon
Canoe the Entire Length of a River (river unspecified)
Rock Climb a Big Rock a.k.a Mountain
Dye My Hair an Outrageous Shade of Red
Learn Guitar
Play Chamber Music
Write A Short Story
Make a Big Quilt
Live Alone in a Big City
Live Overseas
Be in a Band
Ride an Elephant
Master English Grammar
Make a Movie/ Doumentary
Master Bread Making
Learn to Ride a Horse (aka be a cowgirl)
Build a Treehouse
Go on a Safari
Camp in the Bush
Explore the Amazon
Travel To: Spain, Turkey, Thailand, Chile, Egypt, New Zealand(with Dan), Africa, Russia, Czech Republic (of course!), Germany, Denmark, Scotland, Iceland, Romania, Sweden, Bangledesh, Bulgaria, Iraq, Israel, and India.


Thats all I have for now...

Monday, September 18, 2006

I look online and see pictures and read blogs of people but (obviously) these electronic communications can not even come close to replacing a person’s voice or presence; in fact, they almost make the separation from these beloved people worse, its as if I keep running after shadows, trying to embrace them, and continually return to myself empty handed, with only a greater longing to hold something, someone real.

I am trying to research my life plan and I am reminded of a great line from a great woman; “God is continually tying my linear life plan into knots” True Story. What shall I do next? I feel like I can do anything I want but I don’t know if everyone else knows that.
i have not written for a while but do not have much to say really. As is always true, the same patterns and concerns of my life have not dissipated but followed me to Alamosa, so here I am, still trying to figure out what and who I am.

there are two people at the table next to me, clearly 'meeting for coffee' aka first-ish date. Needless to say there is much giggling on the girl's part and guaffing on the boy's, but the highly amusing part of this scenario is that they are both wearing the EXACT same shade of neony, bright, bright blue. ah, a couple made in heaven.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

The day after my last post a man came into the office, a man that has lived in the shelter before but found his own housing and is working on a job. He had been having a garage sale that morning to raise some money to pay his rent. In the middle of his sale his landlady came up with her daughter and started hauling his stuff back inside the garage. When he asked what she was doing, she replied that he didn't need to sell his stuff, not to worry about the rent, that he would have a home as long as he needed it. She then gave him a check for five hundred dollars and told him not to worry about paying her back, that he would pay her back by showing kindness to another when he was able. As he was telling his story, he broke down in tears. so for each hard thing here, there seems to be a good one.

I went to santa fe with some friends this weekend, it was fun, we mainly just goofed around and window shopped.



Shawna shows us whats she's made of...





Joelle acts cool and aloof...like a rock star...



Keirsa, Joelle, and Shanna


grrrrrr...