Monday, August 31, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Work reached a new low this week....
when, to pass the time, we changed the words of the song “Sugar, Sugar” by the Archies to “Seaweed. Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum. Oh, Spirulina. Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum. You are my healthy snack and I’m lovin’ you.”
I’ve had a fascinating experience. As much as I may complain, I love the people I work with. I have had more growing and enlightening (and painful) experiences this past year and a half than I can recount. Everyone is so fiercely and apologetically themselves, from gun-touting-moon-daughter-wants-to-be-a-mermaid Troy, existentialist-astronomer-psychic Kindra, and kitty-loving-pacifist-south-park-junkie Heidi to second-mother-funniest-most-lovable-lady-I-know Marcy and horse-and-kitty-loving-disc-tossing-bad-ass-Andy-who-goes-by-Andrea-at-work-soon-to-be-my-roommate (not to mention entrepreneur-ski-and-scuba-Chinese-man-trapped-in-the-body-of-an-Irish-Catholic Paul and generous-gift-giving-bipolar-wears-lots-of-tinkling-chime-jewelry Linda). I have more stories than I can tell in my lifetime. Okay, well, give me four hours of your undivided attention and I can eloquently retell the past two years of my life, complete with dramatization and interpretive dance.
But yesterday may have taken the cake.
Last April Paul told me he wanted me to make an appointment with N. Keith Sheldonport. I had no information to go on except that Paul said it would be very beneficial and could change my life. Always game for a life changing experience, I made an appointment. The man is so freakin’ popular I made an appointment in April for his first available spot, which happened to be yesterday, August 27th. It was only when I walked into his office and he explained what he did that I realized this was not some life-coach or astronomer but a psychic. Frankly, I absolutely believe that certain people are gifted with the ability to tap into spiritual realms that may elude the common pedestrian, but never have I wanted or even contemplated seeking such a gifted individual out to lift the foggy veil of my future. So, I found myself awkwardly couched in his office, which was decorated in calming peach tones and sea shells (very myrtle beach in the 80s), contemplating if I should ride this out or escape with my Bible corroborated foundations that psychics are to be avoided. Alas, I stayed true to form and took the path of least resistance (and perhaps least character? Eh, I won’t think to hard about it. I really don’t believe my soul is in mortal danger.) and stayed put. And, honestly, I was fascinated and intrigued. I will not regale you the intimate details of my projected future (I have a freakin’ awesome one. I also was told details about my parents and brother’s projected futures. But I will not tell you, Danny, as much as you may want to know.) but to say that he knew dates, ages, people, words I have said, my beliefs about life in general, and it was mesmerizing. (Also really funny, after he would tell me something positive about my future, he would say “so, good for you.” And after something potentially trying or difficult, “so, good luck with that.” I am still processing it all and finding myself thinking of the Matrix A LOT (Do his words and how they shape my actions create the future or is the future firmly and irrevocably in place regardless of what anyone says or does? What is the time-space continuum? He talked a lot about re-incarnation, angels, and auras, most of which I am dubious about. He said my angel, and I quote, wanted him “to gentle push [me] to put [myself] out there in the dating world.” I assume, of course, this angel is my mother. He also told me the projected timeline in which I will fall in love and that I have not met the man of my dreams yet. It is encouraging to know that I will, at some point, meet this person and fall madly and devastatingly in love. I always wrote this ending for myself and have always doubted whether or not it will actually happen).
Final conclusions that I will take away from this:
1. I will forget everything he told me (to the best of my ability) except for the affirmation that I am empowered to live my life any way I want to. I can be anything and do anything. I am loved and have nothing to fear.
2. The whole experience gave me hope, which in turn made me contemplate my faith. Interesting that some vague yet concrete postulating about my future gave me so much hope for myself. I also found it affirming of my faith, to think that the spiritual world is closer and more real than we may suppose and that I can commit my future to God and no matter what happens everything will be okay (not ‘okay’ in the sense of things always going well, but ‘okay’ in the sense that God is always with us.) My hope is in God, not in the words of this man. Life is short and to be lived to the fullest and we have no way of knowing what exactly is beyond this life. I love thinking about a God and Universe that I cannot ever fully fathom. I question every now and then the influence of the new-agey culture I now find myself immersed in (I could very well be becoming a heretical, universalism moon-child), but I know that I am seeking God to the best of my ability, I am growing, and changing, and that is all I can do. My faith in the past has been very much constructed of worrying about if I am good enough, if I am doing enough, and, even more importantly, does it look like I am faithful. My motivation was less about seeking God and more about appearing to seek God. I am now trying to live honestly and fearlessly, asking my questions without concern of how it may make me look to others.
3. I know he was a real psychic because when I asked what I owed him for his time, his fee was exactly the amount of cash I had I my wallet. Well done, sir, well done.
Enough philosophical/metaphysical crap, you really must not take anything I say seriously. On to something much more revealing and entertaining.
I-pod Russian roulette. You know, where you go to i-pod shuffle and write down each song that comes up in response to the queries or statements? Highly entertaining past time.
If someone says, "Are you okay?", you say:
“Take it Down” (Wailin’ Jennys)
How would you describe yourself?
" The Evergreen” (Norfolk and Western)
love it
What do you like in a guy/girl?
“Thorn” (Bain Mattox)
How do you feel today?
Suite for solo cello no 4 in E flat major performed by Yo Yo Ma
This makes me smile
What is your life's purpose?
“The Boxer” (Simon and Garfunkel)
You have no idea…
What's your motto?
“Hold On” (Shawn McDonald)
appropriate
What do your friends think of you?
“American Woman” (Lenny Kravitz)
Ha!
What do your parents think of you?
“Selfless, Cold, and Composed” (Ben Folds)
What do you think about very often?
“Highway 61 revisted” (Bob Dylan)
What is 2 + 2?
"When in Rome " (Nickel Creek)
What do you think of your best friend?
“Here and Now” (Great Big Sea)
What is your life story?
"Walkin Down the Line” (Bob Dylan)
What do you want to be when you grow up?
“This World” (Derek Webb)
What do you think when you see the person you like?
“Just wait” (Blues Traveler)
What will you dance to at your wedding?
“Bang Bang, My Baby Shot Me Down” (Nancy Sinatra)
Hilarious!
What will they play at your funeral?
"I am a Rock” Simon and Garfunkel
Amen
What is your hobby/interest?
“ A Quarter Past Wonderful” (Oren Lavie)
It’s true
What is your biggest fear?
"Whiner’s Bio" (Mates of State)
What is your biggest secret?
"I am Aglow" (Sarah Harmer)
also true
What do you want right now?
"You’re an Angel and I’m Gonna Cry" (Chris Thile)
I’ve had a fascinating experience. As much as I may complain, I love the people I work with. I have had more growing and enlightening (and painful) experiences this past year and a half than I can recount. Everyone is so fiercely and apologetically themselves, from gun-touting-moon-daughter-wants-to-be-a-mermaid Troy, existentialist-astronomer-psychic Kindra, and kitty-loving-pacifist-south-park-junkie Heidi to second-mother-funniest-most-lovable-lady-I-know Marcy and horse-and-kitty-loving-disc-tossing-bad-ass-Andy-who-goes-by-Andrea-at-work-soon-to-be-my-roommate (not to mention entrepreneur-ski-and-scuba-Chinese-man-trapped-in-the-body-of-an-Irish-Catholic Paul and generous-gift-giving-bipolar-wears-lots-of-tinkling-chime-jewelry Linda). I have more stories than I can tell in my lifetime. Okay, well, give me four hours of your undivided attention and I can eloquently retell the past two years of my life, complete with dramatization and interpretive dance.
But yesterday may have taken the cake.
Last April Paul told me he wanted me to make an appointment with N. Keith Sheldonport. I had no information to go on except that Paul said it would be very beneficial and could change my life. Always game for a life changing experience, I made an appointment. The man is so freakin’ popular I made an appointment in April for his first available spot, which happened to be yesterday, August 27th. It was only when I walked into his office and he explained what he did that I realized this was not some life-coach or astronomer but a psychic. Frankly, I absolutely believe that certain people are gifted with the ability to tap into spiritual realms that may elude the common pedestrian, but never have I wanted or even contemplated seeking such a gifted individual out to lift the foggy veil of my future. So, I found myself awkwardly couched in his office, which was decorated in calming peach tones and sea shells (very myrtle beach in the 80s), contemplating if I should ride this out or escape with my Bible corroborated foundations that psychics are to be avoided. Alas, I stayed true to form and took the path of least resistance (and perhaps least character? Eh, I won’t think to hard about it. I really don’t believe my soul is in mortal danger.) and stayed put. And, honestly, I was fascinated and intrigued. I will not regale you the intimate details of my projected future (I have a freakin’ awesome one. I also was told details about my parents and brother’s projected futures. But I will not tell you, Danny, as much as you may want to know.) but to say that he knew dates, ages, people, words I have said, my beliefs about life in general, and it was mesmerizing. (Also really funny, after he would tell me something positive about my future, he would say “so, good for you.” And after something potentially trying or difficult, “so, good luck with that.” I am still processing it all and finding myself thinking of the Matrix A LOT (Do his words and how they shape my actions create the future or is the future firmly and irrevocably in place regardless of what anyone says or does? What is the time-space continuum? He talked a lot about re-incarnation, angels, and auras, most of which I am dubious about. He said my angel, and I quote, wanted him “to gentle push [me] to put [myself] out there in the dating world.” I assume, of course, this angel is my mother. He also told me the projected timeline in which I will fall in love and that I have not met the man of my dreams yet. It is encouraging to know that I will, at some point, meet this person and fall madly and devastatingly in love. I always wrote this ending for myself and have always doubted whether or not it will actually happen).
Final conclusions that I will take away from this:
1. I will forget everything he told me (to the best of my ability) except for the affirmation that I am empowered to live my life any way I want to. I can be anything and do anything. I am loved and have nothing to fear.
2. The whole experience gave me hope, which in turn made me contemplate my faith. Interesting that some vague yet concrete postulating about my future gave me so much hope for myself. I also found it affirming of my faith, to think that the spiritual world is closer and more real than we may suppose and that I can commit my future to God and no matter what happens everything will be okay (not ‘okay’ in the sense of things always going well, but ‘okay’ in the sense that God is always with us.) My hope is in God, not in the words of this man. Life is short and to be lived to the fullest and we have no way of knowing what exactly is beyond this life. I love thinking about a God and Universe that I cannot ever fully fathom. I question every now and then the influence of the new-agey culture I now find myself immersed in (I could very well be becoming a heretical, universalism moon-child), but I know that I am seeking God to the best of my ability, I am growing, and changing, and that is all I can do. My faith in the past has been very much constructed of worrying about if I am good enough, if I am doing enough, and, even more importantly, does it look like I am faithful. My motivation was less about seeking God and more about appearing to seek God. I am now trying to live honestly and fearlessly, asking my questions without concern of how it may make me look to others.
3. I know he was a real psychic because when I asked what I owed him for his time, his fee was exactly the amount of cash I had I my wallet. Well done, sir, well done.
Enough philosophical/metaphysical crap, you really must not take anything I say seriously. On to something much more revealing and entertaining.
I-pod Russian roulette. You know, where you go to i-pod shuffle and write down each song that comes up in response to the queries or statements? Highly entertaining past time.
If someone says, "Are you okay?", you say:
“Take it Down” (Wailin’ Jennys)
How would you describe yourself?
" The Evergreen” (Norfolk and Western)
love it
What do you like in a guy/girl?
“Thorn” (Bain Mattox)
How do you feel today?
Suite for solo cello no 4 in E flat major performed by Yo Yo Ma
This makes me smile
What is your life's purpose?
“The Boxer” (Simon and Garfunkel)
You have no idea…
What's your motto?
“Hold On” (Shawn McDonald)
appropriate
What do your friends think of you?
“American Woman” (Lenny Kravitz)
Ha!
What do your parents think of you?
“Selfless, Cold, and Composed” (Ben Folds)
What do you think about very often?
“Highway 61 revisted” (Bob Dylan)
What is 2 + 2?
"When in Rome " (Nickel Creek)
What do you think of your best friend?
“Here and Now” (Great Big Sea)
What is your life story?
"Walkin Down the Line” (Bob Dylan)
What do you want to be when you grow up?
“This World” (Derek Webb)
What do you think when you see the person you like?
“Just wait” (Blues Traveler)
What will you dance to at your wedding?
“Bang Bang, My Baby Shot Me Down” (Nancy Sinatra)
Hilarious!
What will they play at your funeral?
"I am a Rock” Simon and Garfunkel
Amen
What is your hobby/interest?
“ A Quarter Past Wonderful” (Oren Lavie)
It’s true
What is your biggest fear?
"Whiner’s Bio" (Mates of State)
What is your biggest secret?
"I am Aglow" (Sarah Harmer)
also true
What do you want right now?
"You’re an Angel and I’m Gonna Cry" (Chris Thile)
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
As I leave work most days I feel
1. exhausted
2. anchor-less
3. searching for humans
I mean, I am with people all day but, as Rach said, there is a difference between looking and seeing and I just want be seen at some point in my day. But this is dangerous as well. Someone commented, thoughfully, that I looked happy and it almost made me cry. I am not sure why and am a little uneasy about it all.
1. exhausted
2. anchor-less
3. searching for humans
I mean, I am with people all day but, as Rach said, there is a difference between looking and seeing and I just want be seen at some point in my day. But this is dangerous as well. Someone commented, thoughfully, that I looked happy and it almost made me cry. I am not sure why and am a little uneasy about it all.
Monday, August 24, 2009
I lost my egg...
somewhere between my refrigerator and my work desk. I grabbed the hard-boiled snack as I dashed out the door, late as usual. I went to an early meeting, checked out the new clinic, and then arrived, finally at work. I began putting my lunch and celery into the fridge when I discovered my egg had disappeared! In search of suspects, I googled "Animals that steal eggs" (you never know what kind of thieving critters may be around) and came across this. Aha! The culprits! Alas, there were no stones in my bag either. What does this mean? I have full confidence that the egg will reveal itself in due course. (Does anyone remember the sweet potato incident of freshman year? A tragedy.)
Andrea and I have been on the hunt for apartments and have settled on a sweet little abode near downtown Littleton. Humble and cheap it is but I have great plans for decorating. Andrea and I make a great team. She is in charge of the practical things, like the name of the apartment building and its location and I am in charge of aesthetics.
I am glad we are moving because the cabinetry in our current office is getting a little fresh. I was leaning against a cherry cabinet behind the front desk, chatting with Marcy this afternoon when I felt a little pinch. As I moved away from the cabinet, I felt the sharp snap of elastic against skin. The cabinet had, apparently, felt neglected during my discussion with Marcy (the topic was none of his concern) and, in an attempt to get my attention, grabbed my underwear through my skirt and pulled the elastic tight before releasing it in demonic pleasure. The rogue! I slammed him quite hard to let him know my sentiments. Cabinets who cannot learn to keep their knobs to themselves have to right to expect kind treatment in return.
Our book did not win the contest. There is some discouragement among the masses but it has been determined we will soldier on...indefinitely? Yeesh, I am bent in two under the weight of this silly book.
Did you know that Sylvia Plath loved to pick her nose? I love this line-
"No longer do I listen for the scrape of a keel
On the blank stones of the landing."
Andrea and I have been on the hunt for apartments and have settled on a sweet little abode near downtown Littleton. Humble and cheap it is but I have great plans for decorating. Andrea and I make a great team. She is in charge of the practical things, like the name of the apartment building and its location and I am in charge of aesthetics.
I am glad we are moving because the cabinetry in our current office is getting a little fresh. I was leaning against a cherry cabinet behind the front desk, chatting with Marcy this afternoon when I felt a little pinch. As I moved away from the cabinet, I felt the sharp snap of elastic against skin. The cabinet had, apparently, felt neglected during my discussion with Marcy (the topic was none of his concern) and, in an attempt to get my attention, grabbed my underwear through my skirt and pulled the elastic tight before releasing it in demonic pleasure. The rogue! I slammed him quite hard to let him know my sentiments. Cabinets who cannot learn to keep their knobs to themselves have to right to expect kind treatment in return.
Our book did not win the contest. There is some discouragement among the masses but it has been determined we will soldier on...indefinitely? Yeesh, I am bent in two under the weight of this silly book.
Did you know that Sylvia Plath loved to pick her nose? I love this line-
"No longer do I listen for the scrape of a keel
On the blank stones of the landing."
Thursday, August 20, 2009
ironic: I begin to iron my skirt in an attempt to look pulled together today, but I promptly burned a hole in my skirt and wore it anyway.
People! I am exhausted! What do you want from me! I am having one of my crazy work weeks where sleep is not an option and I am at the clinic every waking hour. Here is my Saturday, for your amusement, and then I will complain no more.
6:30-11:00 -> Health Fair
11:00-2:00 -> Working on the book
2:00-3:00 -> Teaching a class at Whole Foods
This wouldn't be so bad, except that, again, this is my day off and I have already worked 50 hours this week.
But I have decided that its really not that bad. There could be a whole lot more worse things (a whole lot more worse...that's right, I am leaving it that way), like no job, no home, no nothing.
On that note, I decided I don't need a 365 day project (see previous post on Julie/Julia project). I have been contemplating activities from learning and memorizing all the Bach unaccompanied cello suites in a year (that would work out to some ridiculous amount of time per piece, like, two days), mastering roller derby, becoming a flamenco dancer, writing a cookbook, or making all my clothes for a year(minor rules would apply here, like I could purchase cloth or clothes from thrift stores but not exceeding ten dollars a month. Items found or received as gifts (but not anything new) could also be used). Then I realized what I really need for a year long project is nothing. 365 days of doing absolutely nothing. That would probably make me a much better person.
Current Projects:
Writing 1 novel
CNC certification (overdue by 5 months)
Not killing my plants (four dead, three living)
Half-Marathon October 18th (2 weeks behind schedule)
Various sewing projects (two dresses, 4 aprons, 1 pair of baby booties)
Survival
People! I am exhausted! What do you want from me! I am having one of my crazy work weeks where sleep is not an option and I am at the clinic every waking hour. Here is my Saturday, for your amusement, and then I will complain no more.
6:30-11:00 -> Health Fair
11:00-2:00 -> Working on the book
2:00-3:00 -> Teaching a class at Whole Foods
This wouldn't be so bad, except that, again, this is my day off and I have already worked 50 hours this week.
But I have decided that its really not that bad. There could be a whole lot more worse things (a whole lot more worse...that's right, I am leaving it that way), like no job, no home, no nothing.
On that note, I decided I don't need a 365 day project (see previous post on Julie/Julia project). I have been contemplating activities from learning and memorizing all the Bach unaccompanied cello suites in a year (that would work out to some ridiculous amount of time per piece, like, two days), mastering roller derby, becoming a flamenco dancer, writing a cookbook, or making all my clothes for a year(minor rules would apply here, like I could purchase cloth or clothes from thrift stores but not exceeding ten dollars a month. Items found or received as gifts (but not anything new) could also be used). Then I realized what I really need for a year long project is nothing. 365 days of doing absolutely nothing. That would probably make me a much better person.
Current Projects:
Writing 1 novel
CNC certification (overdue by 5 months)
Not killing my plants (four dead, three living)
Half-Marathon October 18th (2 weeks behind schedule)
Various sewing projects (two dresses, 4 aprons, 1 pair of baby booties)
Survival
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
I am no longer house sitting and am back in the mountain, which I must say feels a little weird. I will miss walking Tiny. When accompanied by a small, cute dog one invites friendly conversation and little children approach you begging to pet the little dear. One kid told me that Chiwawas are the king of dogs (Tiny, though diminutive, is not a Chiwawa). Another kid talked to me for ten minutes, uninterrupted, about Werewolves. Some people are scared of 'em but not him, no sir. He could handle a Werewolf any day. I thought this was excellent information and vowed to call for the kid's help if any such full moon emergency were to arise.
I went to pick up Amy from Breckenridge this past weekend and we had a lovely time. I love La Mer by Debussy. I had images of the Swiss Family Robinson dancing through my head.
I was trying to express to Amy while en route to see Julie and Julia that some book to movie translations make me really nervous. This fear of the movie being inadequate generally has little to do with the quality of the book. I had no such fear with Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter or Brideshead Revisited or Pride and Prejudice. But Julie and Julia and Twilight made me very anxious. Amy astutely pointed out that this is because the characters of these latter novels are ones that I probably relate to more, or feel a stronger connection to - for example, Julie is a walking disaster, constantly getting herself into humorous and impatient messes and Bella has a similar aptitude for clumsiness and self-deprecating wit. I could play these parts. Interesting. (This conclusion was further emphasized with the on-screen Julie said "Sometimes I have conversations with Julia in my head." Definitely something I would do and say.)
A few more thoughts about Julie and Julia:
1. Read the book
2. Watching Meryl Strep as Julia Child was amazing and made me want to live with unbounded joy and wild abandon.
3. I want to take on a project for a year, a challenge for me to accomplish and triumph over. I have decided that it will be something with my cello since my cello is the last major stronghold of insecurity in my life. I thought maybe I could learn and memorize all the Bach Unaccompanied Suites in a year. But I think this may be a little ambitious. Suggestions would be great. This may be an unoriginal idea but all the same, inspired.
I love Star Wars.
I went to pick up Amy from Breckenridge this past weekend and we had a lovely time. I love La Mer by Debussy. I had images of the Swiss Family Robinson dancing through my head.
I was trying to express to Amy while en route to see Julie and Julia that some book to movie translations make me really nervous. This fear of the movie being inadequate generally has little to do with the quality of the book. I had no such fear with Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter or Brideshead Revisited or Pride and Prejudice. But Julie and Julia and Twilight made me very anxious. Amy astutely pointed out that this is because the characters of these latter novels are ones that I probably relate to more, or feel a stronger connection to - for example, Julie is a walking disaster, constantly getting herself into humorous and impatient messes and Bella has a similar aptitude for clumsiness and self-deprecating wit. I could play these parts. Interesting. (This conclusion was further emphasized with the on-screen Julie said "Sometimes I have conversations with Julia in my head." Definitely something I would do and say.)
A few more thoughts about Julie and Julia:
1. Read the book
2. Watching Meryl Strep as Julia Child was amazing and made me want to live with unbounded joy and wild abandon.
3. I want to take on a project for a year, a challenge for me to accomplish and triumph over. I have decided that it will be something with my cello since my cello is the last major stronghold of insecurity in my life. I thought maybe I could learn and memorize all the Bach Unaccompanied Suites in a year. But I think this may be a little ambitious. Suggestions would be great. This may be an unoriginal idea but all the same, inspired.
I love Star Wars.
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