all i want is to sleep alot. last night was my only chance to recharge for the next two days and 16 hours of work and the horror that is saturdays and i kept waking up and looking for something. i don't know what it is, but i was looking for something and i really needed to find it and i couldn't. and so the day begins, i am sick, exhausted and frankly feel on the verge of tears at all times. this will end. i will find rest.


i finished the solace of leaving early and it is one of the most beautiful books. i need to read it again.

its not quite the new year but its time for reflection anyway:

the blog beginnings of 2007, the fastest year of my life thus far.

January: I am back from vacation with the family. it was pretty much exactly what i needed, lots of quiet, games, movies, reading, sleep, and snow.

February: i am going to mexico, i will be back in week...

March: Christa loves to Bake.

April: why small towns are fantastic: there is a GIANT sign on State ave that is advertising the sale of BULK WORM POOP.

May: today as a warm fuzzy closer to our staff meeting we were all randomly put into pairs and had to use one word to describe the other person in a positive manner. the person i was paired with i know kind of well, i really like her, she is the office manager and lives in the mountains in a totally sustainable and pro-environment manner (like with a cool composting toilet, no electricity, and lots of solar power) anyway the word she used to describe me was real.

June: Here is a sampling of my trip to NC, out of order, yet still fabulous. I had lots of good times with my family and spent a lot of time catching up with as many people as I could fit into my brief trip.

July: well it wasn't really mount doom but there really were times i thought i was on the verge of blinking out of exisitence on this last hiking excursion.

August: i have been going and going and going and telling myself that it is humanly possible to keep up the hours i've been working, don't think about it christa, just keep going. and now i am done and my brain is thinking about things other than fence slates, screws, and drills that don't work. and i can neither confirm nor deny that i am freaking out. a little. mindless packing will do that do you too.

September: Nothing new has really happened to warrant blogging except that i like to hear myself talk, again proving that the sole purpose of blogs, or at least my blog, is unadulterated self-worship.

October: today is a beautiful day, cool and crisp and very fall like. it makes me very very happy

November: hello. i blogged a bit ago but inadvertently deleted the whole thing. boo. now i try again.

December: you know that horrible claustrophobic feeling that comes with having static electricity in your hair or a wedgie you cannot correct without public humiliation. that is how i feel today but without any external cause to blame the feeling on. i am the wedgie.

do prairie dogs hibernate?

(White-tailed and Gunnison's prairie dogs hibernate from about October to March, depending on elevation. Black-tailed prairie dogs do not hibernate, but will stay below ground for several days during cold cloudy weather.)

its my birthday and i do what i want! which means go to work. phooey. i think all birthdays should be holidays celebrated by people brining you breakfast in bed, spa treatments, lounging, slippers, fires, and reading good books all day long.

but my family comes tonight, which is great and exciting. i especially excited that just as baby eli leaves my life for two.5 weeks, baby amelia enters it, so there will be no lack of baby love.

i am listening to the people around me, and the majority of them are lamenting holiday family functions, oh the irony of the holidays.

and malls are an abomination to the world.

these are my opinions.


still haven't selected a ' year 24' themesong, it was suggested i should select some john denver but no, i think not.

i finished writing a song, well i actually wrote two new songs but they sound so similiar, really i need to move away from Am but i like it so much! alas. i also need new guitar strings.

the barista (but its a guy, what do you call a guy barista, barister?) is singing horribly to the music and it is highly amusing.
i am roasting here in the sun. roasting.

and thus my birthday passes as just another day with nothing profound nor incredible occurring but the little things that i love.


here is my horoscope:

Kids play a prominent role in the day's activities. If you've got some, spend a little extra time with them; if not, you may want to check in with friends or relatives so you can soak up the positive, youthful energy

(oh if they only knew)

from the onion:
Like a shooting star, so too will your outer extremities ignite while hurdling through the earth's atmosphere in May.

(excellent)

current theme song options for year 24:
when the stars go blue, rayn adams
let's dance, david bowie
i'm bringing sexy back, justin timberlake
flash gordon, queen





i am kidding about justin.

you can give a lot without ever having to sacrifice (and this is not good thing)

this is my second time in the coffee shop that i have seen these UPS dudes hanging out. its great, they chat about thier vans, grip about hours, and lounge in their brown uniforms. classic.

so i tried to throw myself a birthday party last night....but no one came....i even made a delicious tart and tons of cookies and .... no one came. it sounds more pathetic than it was, actually megan and i were both a little relieved that no one came, so we ate the cookies and tart and shared a bottle of wine and stayed up until the woodstove grew cold, talking. megan also pointed out the lack of attendees was really that we don't really know anyone not that we know lots of people that didn't come. phew. and she also pointed out, in the wisdom she always has, that we have made three really good friends that we love hanging out with, jessa, eric, and eli - which in the short time we have been here is amazing and a gift.

there was another story i was going to share but i cannot remember...

i will be 24 tomorrow but i still feel like i am 12, is that normal?

i think i am going to make cupcakes today

i think i have become more southern upon leaving the south.



an excerpt from Lost by david Wagoner

...You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows where you are. You must let it find you.

little triumphs

i am officially not allergic to wheat (which still leaves the mystery of my symptoms...curious) bring on the mac and cheese

the snowblower functions

i am turning 24--i need a theme song for the next year, any suggestions? i am thinking queen again

shawna--it makes me happy you read megan's blog

megan and i are getting tattoos on monday (parents you have thus been officially warned)

i successfully navigated uptown in the snow without hitting any pedestrians

i am determined to have fun tonight regardless of how cranky the children are

today i saw a two year old who refused to wear shoes and was lying on the floor screaming cause his feet were cold--i hear you kid, i feel the same way.

found a new oranic vegetarian cage, excellent, and the barista lady complemented my home made scarf. she has excellent taste.


i think i'm cute

i am reading a book i love

i made christmas cookies last night and have the most perfect bird cookie cutter

i washed the dishes last night and cleaned out the fridge



the best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely, or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quite alone with the heavens, nature, and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, admidst the simple beauty of nature. As long as this exists, and it certainly always will, I know that then there will always be comfort for every sorrow, whatever the circumstances may be. Anne Frank

i think Megan is the link to my sanity right now. she has an inherent ability to allow one to be themselves in whatever state that may be and make that okay. she says that is because people see how messed up she is and feel invariably better about themselves but i don't believe that is true. i think she is just good at giving you space to be crazy in her presence without judgment. either way, i feel like i will be okay when i am with her.

there is lots of snow and we still cannot get our snow blower to work, which i call ironic, whether it is or not. i will soon be selling Christa's one hour snow shoveling work out video, complete with 80s music medley.

I watched a horrible movie lately called Mountain Family Robinson. This film had been recorded over Cheetah, which is what i thought i was watching. such anguish that the perfection that is the film Cheetah was taped over for a 70s feel good film that was 75% slow motion montages of kids running through wild flowers and wild animals playing. my real issue is that this family had tame wild animals which i think completely nullifies the principals of intentional mountain living. and their garden was totally lame. whatever. if anyone has a copy of cheetah, please send it to me.

i have just entered at least 12 swwepstakes and i am bound to win something.

so here i am.

it snowed most of the weekend and i hid in my house. i decided i like snow, as long as i don't have to drive. this means it is going to be a long winter for me. the sun came out on sunday and was so tangible, everywhere the sun didn't reach stayed icy and blue but the places where it did hit glowed.

i didn't sleep well saturday night but that enabled me to see the sunrise sunday morning. i put on all my layers and tromped out in the snow at the crack of dawn, saying good morning to the deer, until it was too cold to be outside any longer and i rushed inside to sit by the wood stove.

you know that horrible claustrophobic feeling that comes with having static electricity in your hair or a wedgie you cannot correct without public humiliation. that is how i feel today but without any external cause to blame the feeling on. i am the wedgie.

i might have a broken nose.

last night when i was driving home i think the car next to me hit a deer but i was just far enough in front of the other car to not know exactly what was happening except that he swerved toward me then suddenly pulled over. i looked for hints of what happened, for all i saw was large and white jumping into the road, but nothing was there. i think it was a Yettie.

i am in a bad mood i know and i apologize. i got nothing.

yesterday i found that when i spoke this questionable southern drawl kept emerging from my mouth--i kept calling all the children darlin' or honey and don't really know how to account for it.

it is time for a list of things that make me happy:

Tiffany, who is patiently enduring my grump and who took funny pictures with me last night

my parents, my family, what can i say, i love them

my cat, though she drives me crazy, is so sweet while being crazy, i strive to emulate her

my guitar that i cannot really play, specifically the A7 chord

my boots

books

gay bars, specifically gay country bars

most children, except the one that broke my nose (just kidding i like him too)

hot chocolate

the promise of sleep and sanity