Can of Worms

i am feeling restless, tired but i cannot sleep, a bit anxious. zardonne. and i don't like it. and i don't know how to fix it.

i am very excited abou the holidays though. i have recipes planned, am thinking about where to put the christmas tree, what i want to do for my birthday, all the lovely people i will get to see soon (i.e. my fab fam)

someone thought i was someone else today. this happens to me a lot, as i have joked often (too often) i am the universal friend donor. i remind everyone of someone else they know. this sometimes makes me feel vague and unmemorable. how interesting to be someone that always evokes memories of someone else but not yourself.

i like being good at everything i do but do not feel good at my job, which i am hoping is just in my head but either way its humbling, a feeling i am not comfortable with. i think i need to spend some time with humilty for a while. just sit with that reality that i don't know everything nor am i good at everything and i (duh) have some serious failings. sigh.

i will write later when i am in a better mood. i think the lack of light in the world does not have a good effect on me. i need more vitamin d.