What a difference a day makes....

I feel like I try way too hard to be "TOGETHER." Bills paid, oil changed, laundry done, clothes clean. Life has a lot of chores. But no matter how hard I try lately, something always seems to go awry. Last week it was the keys gone missing, the week before snow thwarted all productivity, this week my car freaks out again- ol' Maybelle seems to be menopausal and constantly overheating. My obliviousness to her distress led to serious roadside break down. Thankfully a lovely gentleman and his family were right behind me and helped me cool her off. The someone else came by with more water, until suddenly there was a crowd and everyone was talking in rapid spanish that I didn't understand. But she was drivable to my destination, a mere 6 blocks away. In the end she ended up being towed to the car joint. I've gotta say thanks to all the people that helped me- Jessa for picking me up and agreeing to drive me to work, Katie, Haley, and Lindsey, who went searching for coolant and stared helplessly at the engine with me until the arrival of Mustafo and Steve, neighbors of Katie's and Men with Engine Knowledge, who provide much needed advice.

I am more convinced than ever that I just want to sell all my crap and move into the woods. I hate feeling tied down by obligations, money, car payments, etc. How great would it be to just shake it all off and go flying away.

So, my destination post-car breakdown was to Katie's house downtown. Its an intentional living community of about ten folks and a couple of them are moving out, so I was checking it out to see if I wanted to move in. I am undecided. It all has a very college/ community house vibe and I would want to spruce up (aka CLEAN LIKE CRAZY) the old house, but it could be fun (and cheap) to live with a bunch of people again. Another Pro is that the house is minutes from the Capoeira studio, my new obsession. But all the people I hung out with are the ones moving out (I liked them a lot) and I am afraid that if I move in I would be in charge of everything. I am just too tired for that. I feel like I am in survival mode again and am only really have energy or enjoyment of life every now and then. Maybe I just need to lower my expectations of life.

I am going to make Pros/ Cons list.

Pros:
Cheap Rent
Insta-friends/ community
Downtown location
Kayla- the resident Great Dane (sweet giant dog)
Great Patio
Musicians live there
House dinners/ hang out time
Always someone to play a game with
Everyone there is super conscious about community, environment etc.

Cons:
I would the oldest one/ insta-house mom (this is speculation)
People wouldn't follow through, I would clean house for everyone (also speculation)
1/2 hour commute to work (not so bad actually, this is more of a neutral)
sharing a bedroom (also not so bad, as long as whoever cleaned)





hmmmmmmm.....
I didn't know I was such a clean freak but I really do like things to be clean and organized. Its totally a control thing. and a mental health things.

Anyone have opinions or advice?

Wow I am tired. Today would be a good caffeine-free exception day. I could use a big cup of joe to get me through. and I have to be friendly today too, which, no lie, kind of feels like a stretch.