I do a lot of stupid, clumsy things in public and find it extraordinarily sad when there is no one to laugh with me...for example:
I headed to the gym Tuesday evening after my second thirteen hour day of work this week. I hopped on the treadmill and began running away, headphones in and water bottle balanced on the bottle holder thingy, since it wouldn't fit in. Yeah, my water bottle fell off and rolled down the treadmill, making a crashing noise and breaking the intense, focused ambiance of the gym where you should only be able to hear the thudding baseline of the music in time with your thudding heartbeat. The beautifully muscled necks of the sculpted runners on either side of me watched with amused disdain as I awkwardly scrambled after my water bottle as it continued to roll down the row of treadmills, like Charlie Brown's ineffective quest after the elusive football. Finally I saved it and, water bottle secured once again, I continued my run, pretending that nothing had happened. Until it did happen, again. I gave my water bottle a look of amused disdain and let it lie where it fell. I finished my workout with no further disturbances but as I walked away from the treadmill I opened the delinquent water bottle for a drink. I dropped the lid and as I bent from the waist to pick it up, I poured the entire contents of my water bottle all over the floor. Yes. I then had to ask the aloof yet beautiful man at the desk for a paper towel. He gave me an appraising look, I believe slightly miffed that I had interrupted his intense, focused conversation with a beautiful, sculpted woman in spandex. After a moment of hesitation, during which I just stood there awkwardly (is he about to yell at me?), he handed over a very large, even more awkward giant roll of paper towels that took both hands to lift. Dude, give me a break, I can hardly walk without injuring innocent bystanders and you want me to quarantine the disaster area with something I cannot pick up? Through determination, prayer, and much grunting, I successful removed all signs of my existence and slithered out of the gym, wincing from the withering glares that followed me. Sigh. Good workout Oakes.
I am sitting in a coffee shop in Boulder and its like the Easter parade through the window, so many people walking the streets today. I went on a lovely hike with Rachel this morning and am now enjoying the scenery and anonymity that Boulder has to offer. Such a strange little town that I suspect takes itself too seriously but nontheless I will willingly buy into the facade that today I am a little bit cooler because I am hanging out here, with my laptop and obscure literature. I hope they don't throw me out when they discover I am wearing synthetic materials and not Patagonia.
There is no new news, just the delicious ritual of each new day.
Friday, August 22, 2008
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