oh, thats the trouble with thoughts...

I felt like I had something great and witty to say and here I am logged on and my brain is empty. ah well, such is life.

I am reading this great book called Aurora Dawn- written in the fifties, its incredibly witty and clever and funny. The best part is it was one of those books that just caught my eye and I randomly pulled off the shelf, a delicious act of fate. Such cursory selections usual end up to be bad historical romances or predictable fantasy (lets me honest, a cover with a dragon has a much better chance ending up on my nightstand than one with say, words). But this, this is fantastic. Well done me!

I went to see Earth today and I enjoyed it much more than I thought I would. It was beautiful and really made me want to see the world! It was incredible depressing to leave the theater and see the reality of the strip mall. Booooooo.

Eli can kind of say my name - its more like the inflection of two syllables but I will take what I can get.

its snowing outside.

hmmm, interesting spring weather we have here in Denver.

Today I have done nothing but sleep, nap, watch old movies, sleep more, eat asparagus and brownies. This was much needed day of rest. My acupuncturist says I have no chi. This is not ideal.

Today, recap:
8:00 am Wake Up
8:45 am Begin to leave, discover keys are missing
9:00 am Keys are not in purse, car, or bedroom
9:15 am Find lost debit card, no keys
9:30 am Missed appointment, found lost library book, no keys
9:45 am Scream in rage at the Cosmos
10:00 am Clean out all drawers in bed room and kitchen, no keys
10:15 am Dig through trash twice,no keys
10:30 am Check car, bags, bedroom for tenth time, no keys
10:30-11:30 Repeat the above all while the screaming inside my head gets louder
11:30 call to cancel second appointment since I am apparently not leaving the house today, while on phone find keys hanging on power cord in between table and wall, blocked from sight on one side by Eli's toy car and on the other by a bench. The universe has a vicious sense of humor.

Sometimes, lately, I like to imagine the people I encounter at work in different time periods. For example, Valentina is clearly a brassy, shoot from the hip singer at the town saloon in the wild wild west whose bright clothes are only shadowed by her bright personality. Clearly.

I had my first experience with hypnotherapy yesterday. I won't go into details except to say it was great (like acupuncture in that you get super relaxed in 20 minutes) and my inner essence looks a lot like Harimad-sol. shocker.

This week I have been playing in the pit of a high school production of the Wizard of Oz and it has been lots of fun. but tonight one of the French Horn players made an announcement- he had lost his hand (really!) and it had been reattached and the doctor's said he would never play horn again. And this is his first time playing again and its a miracle. cool huh?

Life is But a Quick Succession of Busy Nothings...

Chapter One: The Skies Opened and Dumpethed White Crap

I wore a sundress to work on Thursday morning and by evening I was trudging through snow(I now have a full winter wardrobe in my car at all times so I was prepared, sporting a hot ensemble of sundress and snow boots). The weather got progressively worse culminating in power lossage Friday evening. It came back briefly this morning and then went out again. Thankfully it is on again (as evidenced by this blog).

I was being angsty about the snow while driving home on Friday and commented to Amy "snow is shit*" This caused to pause and imagine- What if snow really was shit? This new perspective made me much more appreciative of the water based precipitation. I love snow so much more than poo (while, lets be frank, poo is strangely fascinating in its own right, I don't want it all over my yard, car, life, or person).

The trees are so laden with snow, branches and whole trees are falling everywhere. The landscape looks like something from Dr. Suess. There are some mini Shetland ponies near our house and their attempts to move through the snow was truly comical. Poor Ponies.

Chapter Two: Call me Little House on The Christa

I have found a few new things in my life that cause me great, unbounded joy and I realized all of them are sightly related. Examples: My sprouting herbs, my overalls, my new and totally unhip hand me down tiered peasant(prairie)dress, mason jars, raw honey, thinking about goats, etc etc. I really think part of my soul is trapped on a wagon train. So, when the power went out and my lunch was sadly unfinished on the stove I realized this would be an excellent opportunity to try out the wood stove's cooking capabilities. It was highly successful. Not only did I successfully stir fry veggies and rice, I whipped up an amazing batch of almond pralines. I think candy making should only be done on a wood stove for the high temperature made the process very expedient. and delicious. I was about to bust out some biscuits when darkness fell and I had no more light and didn't feel up to improvising a dutch oven.

Chapter Three: Castle Xanadu

Once we were able to clear our driveway today(ahem, our neighbor came in his John Deere mammoth skidster and plowed us out), Eric proposed we build an edifice from snow. Our original vision was an igloo but that quickly changed into a castle when we realized after our first layer of bricks we had been way to ambitious in our dimensions and that a roof would only occur if we built it 10- 15 feet tall. And who has the time for that? So we transformed it into a sweet castle fort with turrets and windows. Totally worth the five hours of hard work that now leaves me unable to lift my arms. It really is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Unfortunately, it is supposed to be in the 70s by Tuesday, so our castle will be short lived.



(* There are two things that cause me to curse more than anything: cars/driving and snow. The combination of the two really turns me into a potty mouth. While driving in snow I develop Christa-cursing-Terets which sounds like stream of consciousness poetry gone awry "shitshitshitshitshitshitshit").

I had a dream the other night that I was walking through a yard full of spiderwebs and I kept running into them (not unlike that unfortunate hike with Jon and Jon-do you remember the spiders?) I woke myself up completely creeped out with the eebie-jeebies. It took quite a bit of convincing for me to go to sleep again with the confidence that a real bug or spider was not sharing my pillow.

And THEN...the next night I go to my room and what is on my pillow but a giant beetle!!! UGH! I think a bug really did land on my during my dream. Permenant eebie-jeebies. I had to get a new pillow

Its snowing again. Calling for 4 feet this time. Thankfully I was prepared with boots in my car, making my sundress a little less unpractical (It was 70 yesterday- oh fickle weather).

I have had so much to do this week I can't wait for it to be over. How much longer until my weekend!!! Lots- unless I am redeemed by immense amounts of snow. I am plum tuckered out.

over and out cub scouts

I think this may be the best Easter ever. Megan and I have eaten the most delicious meal (Crostini of brie and asparagus and tomatoes and mozerella, shrimp and grits, and good old fashioned apple pie- with a touch of rum. Possibly the most brilliant thing ever put in an apple pie besides apples). Megan created the shrimp and grits sans recipe and we are both in awe of this delicious creation. I officially declare that Shrimp and Grits will be the traditional meal of Easter from this day forth. We are now lounging in front of the fire (its snowing), have just finished watching LOTR: Two Towers, and will venture out shortly to see Slum Dog Millionaire.

There is an older gentleman I know who is the only person that can say things like "Hey kid" and "Stay out of trouble Babe" without me going into a defensive feminista stance. He has that Humphrey Bogart-esque presence, cowboy boots, and a saucy wink that leads you to the obvious conclusion that this man was a smooth operator in his prime. He makes me feel like Lauren Becall.

I bought a wing back chair from the Arc for four bucks and have great plans for recovering it. It may be a disaster, but how can you not try for four dollars? The best part of this chair is that its seat is wider than traditional wing-backs allowing for the perfect curl-up-with-your-best-book-scenario. Have I mentioned I love my station wagon? What other vehicle could accommodate my cello, various random articles from my life which include snowboarding boots, snow boots, scarves, gym shoes and still allows room for the unplanned acquisition of fabulous furniture? Its a beautiful thing.

Okay, we all know I love a good fairy tale or fantasy story. Now, I am not a crazy or out-of touch person that actually believes in a parallel universe or magic per say, but isn't nice sometimes to imagine the possibility? I love to let my mind dance on the edge of reality and dream of a world beyond all my expectations or perceptions of what is real. I want some magic in my life. (You, as my true friends, are required to stage an intervention if my fascination with fantasy and all things other-worldly pushes my eccentricities into acts of true craziness- you know, dressing in costume outside of the privacy of my own home, speaking in a secret language of my own creation etc.)

One of my favorite parts of church is the ending benediction. I just love receiving a blessing for my week.

My roommates are disagreeing that a slice of cheddar cheese is a traditional (and delicious) accessory to apple pie- any supporting opinions? If you haven't tried this you should, its amazing.

Harry Potter is now on, my full attention is required.

Happy Easter!

If you say forever I'll punch you in the face...

Three words never to say to your personal trainer - "Bring it on."

Silly Christa. Don't ever taunt the trainer because then he will kick your butt and serve it to you on a platter. In the middle of some ridiculous plank/weightlifting/what-am-i-doing-this-for scenario I realized that the man enjoys his job aka making me lift really heavy things until I can't feel my arms, way too much. I don't think he likes my jokes.

Today I decided that the old dog pen will become a garden so after my crazy workout I hauled wood, raked up pine needles, and spent two hours outside in my overalls. I also went and locked the loft doors in the barn which had been knocked open by the wind and I had delayed closing them because I am pretty much terrified of the barn. I am not a brave women when it comes to ROUS's (or really large rats). Armed with a broom and making lots of noise I climbed the ladder to the loft, ready to flee at the slightest sign of movement. I must have been really scary, cause I didn't see a thing (anti-climatic story, I know, but I am still kind of grossed out. All the time I was climbing the ladder I envisioned rats jumping out of the feed sacks into my hair...ewwww).

After a brief nap I now find that my limbs have gone on strike and my body in general hates me. I will have to recuperate quickly for my next session is on Monday. Foul Evil Gym Man- You will not win!

I really want some chocolate cake right now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EYAUazLI9k

This is the most amazing thing ever. I am moved to tears every time I watch it.

Here is a picture of one of my most recent creations- a crazy quilt haphazardly pieced together to look like a woman dancing (inspired by a photo from Mexico taken by Rachel and Annie- she is now named Lola and lives comfortably on their couch).

Today was my 1 year anniversary at Whole Health.

Spring snow showers are heinous and evil. Like, for real. Taunted by sunny days of 60 and 70 degrees, we carelessly abandon are jackets to the back of our closets. And THEN! snow falls, unbidden, in giant heaps with lots of terrifying wind. The last blizzard I was lulled into a false sense of security by the mild weather of the morning and did not have my jacket with me. 5 hours later I had to drag my butt out to the car sans coat, getting soaked to my knees as I trudged through the snow in my flats, skirt, and stockings. By the time I met Eric to ride up the mountain together I looked like a stranded hobo- I was wearing my work clothes, my green tennis shoes, and all the other layers of clothes I had found in my car. I was quite a sight.

I am in the midst of looking for a new place to live. It is a very overwhelming thing to do. I kind of want it to just be done for me. Like most of the things in my life.

My car broke down last week. The repair cost is pretty much exactly how much I got for my tax return. I think I have been subjected to a horrible scheme to steal all my money. I did buy myself a tent with a little of the dough though. I am not going to lie, I want to get married simply so I can pass car maintenance on to someone else's to do list.

WHERE IS SUMMER!?!

TGTITWIMF (Thank Goodness Tomorrow Is Thursday Which Is My Friday)

it snowed. like, there was a blizzard. Eric saved me by taking me up the mountain in the jeep. Holler. Nothing better than being snowed in.

It is supposed to snow feet tonight. FEET. It better.

I have had a revelation. I have recently decided to do only one thing at a time (when at home, work requires 5 activities at once to get anything done). I realized that I have been walking around looking and asking for peace and quiet and calm while simultaneously cranking on the tv, turning up the radio, grabbing a book to fill the void as I cook dinner, drive to work, run my errands. If I fill my day with meaningless noise I suppose I don't have to listen to my own, possibly frightening, thoughts. Or maybe I have been afraid if I do just one thing at a time I will miss out on something or find that my free time has disappeared without anything satisfying occurring. So I grab at anything and fill every moment with STUFF and THINGS. but after a quiet weekend of doing exactly what I want, one thing at a time (this means sewing, deconstructing a dresser, more sewing, brunch with a dear friend, cooking with intention, parks, books in coffee shops where I only drink flowery tea) I discovered - My mind isn't such a scary place after all and quiet brings the satisfaction I been looking for. Shocking, I know.

It is way way too late and I must go to bed (any hour after 8 is automatically deemed way way too late). I just finished reading another fabulous Margaret Atwood book (The Edible Woman). I wish I was as smart and articulate as she...I love stories.

I went to an estate sale and bought a shadow box, dresser, and nightstand for 12 bucks. This weekend: nails and paint and creation.

I have been deliciously productive today. I finished everything on my list. Amazing. I like my errands to be circular and make sense in their orderly execution. Thankfully today there was no extra driving, everything was in its order and succinctly accomplished.

I feel the need to settle into myself and sit and be quiet for a very long time. I don't know if that will happen but I am trying not to fight this instinct, which is very easy to do.

I am currently watching "The Age of Innocence"- picked up from the library because it is directed by Martin Scorsese, is a period film, and has Daniel Day-Lewis in it. It is very interestingly done...I am not sure if I like it or not...I think I would like the book.

Amy and I currently snug in the corner of the computer room at her conservatory after a long day of walking, shopping, and EATING! It all started with the Market Street Farmers market, which I have always wanted to go to. Nestled along the wharf, it has a great view of the ocean and tons of fabulous organic goodies. Um, I love San Francisco. It is like my food mecca. Yesterday Amy took me to an organic restaurant called Cafe Gratitude, which offered vegan raw cuisine that tantalized your taste buds (okay, Amy was a little freaked out, but it was pretty much like my own kitchen). The best part is that this restaurant totally took itself too seriously (Question of the day: What are you celebrating? I ordered "I am graceful" and "I am healthy" - a more conscious eating experience you will never find)but was delicious. So this morning- farmer's market, where we walked through the aisle and I could not spend my money fast enough on raw honey, produce, vegan soup (called Butternut love soup, yes please), vegan smoothies, and what not. Like a kid on Christmas, Amy had to hold me back from pouncing on the farmers, begging for jobs, taking pictures of their confused faces. I want a farm!!!! Amy will have to be my proxy and return weekly to get veggie love. Our purses are stuffed with produce for supper.

Our meanderings then took us to the fisherman's wharf for sourdough bread (more please!) and then walking to Coit tower, China Town, Union Square (Amy endured me drooling on every corner of H and M), and now to rest at conservatory before we continue on our trek.

Other highlights: the beach (duh!), de Young Museum with Andy Warhol and Yves Saint- Laurent collection (pop culture!), Beethoven 7th Symphony, naps, people watching, men in kilts (st. patrick's day), Twilight (yes, Amy is reading them), sunny days in San Francisco. I am so moving here.

Amy says hi.

I am sick. And nothing is worse than being sick while working at a Health Center. I have taken the morning off to recover.

News Updates:

I joined the church choir, fun.

Christopher Moore continues to be my favorite author. With each additional book I read I laugh more and more.

My seedlings are sprouting!

I got to see Emmy and Carmen from Americorp- great to see them and reminisce over the days of yore.

I am watching P and P, curled up in a blanket with a hot beverage, willing away the germs. I will not succumb.

I rescued a dog this weekend, an ancient black poodle, who was deaf and going blind. The second night when I went to bed he would cry and yelp until I came back. After checking on him a dozen times I finally dragged my blanket and pillow to the couch to sleep (I wouldn't let him in my bed, fresh puppy). He was fine the rest of the night, as long as he could keep me in his sights. Needy but sweet. (I found his owner after a wild goose chase and he is now back home where he belongs)

I am going to see Amy! I must get better!

there has got to be something more to life than try, try, try....

name that tune

This Week:

Two police cars pulled onto the street from their speed trap locations, freaking me out, but both times they weren't after me

I am attending my first pit rehearsal for a local production of The Wizard of Oz

Where have all the oxen of America gone? Are they extinct?

I saw a car completely flipped over on the side of south turkey creek road- the back mountain road I drive down to get to work.

I am going to start sprouting seeds, I need to find screen and mason jars.

I went to bed at 9:15 last night and I am still tired.

I think the Amish have stolen all the oxen.

They say Izzy has cancer.

When googling "Christa needs" after too much facebook the following results popped up:
Christa needs to die NOW!
Christa needs to realize that despite disappointing action she is still deserving of friendship. (thanks.)
Christa needs to be judged if she is evil
Christa needs HELP!
Christa needs to forgive and forget

Disturbing no?

I am off to run many many errands and hopefully find something to do to make my day interesting. Whatever shall that be?

Today I sat so close to the wood stove that when the wood popped and sparks shot out, I burnt a hole in my pants. and my shirt. Sound familiar? I refer to the dime sized scar on my arm where a spark burned me when I was little. Apparently I never learn. (I am still sitting by the fire).


Today in church we sang some oldie goldies. It was great (I can't remember the name of the songs now). but is was nice. I also enjoyed the Lord's prayer, in which we all said the word "trespasses" instead of "debtors" - "...forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us..." The auditorium was split with the sound of "sss" slithering uncontrollably through the air. Delightful.


I am really really tired. The rest of my evening shall be spent reading old dramatic novels in front of Defiant (the name of the wood stove and an apt description of my general attitude).

If Oprah can, so can I...

I had come up with this list of my ten most favorite things that make me happy (specifically things-nothing meaningful like people...) I had hoped to include photos, I may still, but right now I have neither the time nor energy (nor the uploading cords for my camera). Ahem. Prepare to be riveted.



My favorite Things, in no particular order:

1. Pretty little bowls

2. Unusual scraps of fabric

3. My head lamp

4. My chacos

5. My pink dish washing gloves (they double for super hero duty)

6. Green Tomato Relish

7. Painting on Walls

8. My favorite books, which I can read over and over again(namely The Blue Sword and Biting the Sun - they are me).

9. My octopus bracelet

10. Multi-colored sharpies

If I ever was, for even the briefest amounts of time, a person who did not say exactly what she was thinking, I am definitely not that person now.

Definitely is a word I always have trouble spelling.

Tonight a miraculous thing occurred as I was taking out the trash. As I picked up the trashcan and turned, I knocked over the recycling bag. I continued out the door into the garage, listening to the sound of a glass pickle jar that had been in the bag roll across the floor. I could hear it as I placed the trash in the outside bin...and then, at precisely the same moment, I closed the trash can lid with a thud, the rolling jar stopped against the cabinet with a thunk, and the automatic garage light came on, all in unison. I live for such moments - My life is a musical.

Today I went snowboarding with my awesome brother. I was feeling pretty good, having fresh legs and great anticipation of some awesome snowboarding stunts on my part. I got a bloody nose on the first run. After I made it all the way down the mountain, I caught the wrong edge and slammed my face into the snow at MACH 1 speed (no broken wrists or fingers since my head cushioned the rest of my body as I fell). Awesome. The rest of the day went pretty smoothly, though my knees are black and blue again. Josh caught my wrath when he suggested that my legs weren't strong enough to handle lots of snowboarding (he swears that not what he meant). People on skis should never tell people (or Christa's) on snowboards what to do. You have no idea what you are talking about. All that to say I am not going to the slopes with Josh tomorrow.

I have been feeling a bit lost and all too tragically caught up in myself. It seems very hard to fight the instinct that if I do more, things will be better. What things are wrong, you may ask? Well, ultimately, me. I feel all wrong and wish I could just lie in the sun until all the bits of my soul I don’t like are burnt up and blown away.