Eli and I spent some time together Saturday night,practicing our car sounds.

Tonight I was driving home on my mountain road and took a minute to debate whether or not I should turn on my brights. I hesitate to do so because once they are on I often forget to turn them off when I see another car. I decided to flip them on and low and behold, there was a buck, a giant buck in front of me. I slowed and he went on his way, but I think if I hadn't turned on my brights I would have hit him. I am calling this a moment of divine intervention.

I am a word person but not a speller. I know lots of good words and if something happens to you and you are at a loss to find the proper linguistic structural elements to paint an accurate picture-I am your girl. You want to move beyond the realm of creative spelling-I am definitely not your girl. I like to say my creativity rebels against the constraints of traditional spelling. Really, I just don't pay attention. Marcy, my boss, is a stickler for proper spelling and grammar and thankfully she finds my constant spelling transgressions charming (I won't even get into my counting issues). Today (the names have been changed for privacy purposes) I brought up a ticket for a customer and wrote the name as Taya (supposed to be Tanya). Marcy points it out to me, we laugh, I correct the mistake and go back to work. Later she calls me up again, gives me a look, and hands me back the ticket I corrected. Yeah, I wrote Tayna. I mean, you would think that I would get something that simple correct. Yeah, no. Dyslexic much?

I am going to bed early and WILL NOT BE LATE TO WORK TOMORROW! (I wasn't late today but really don't want to be late tomorrow)

I drove up the mountain late this morning swigging kefir straight out of the bottle like a lush on a park bench. today is my day off. I have completed my two essential sanity returning activities, acupuncture and the library. I love the library. I am going to make myself a shirt. I am actively not planning on doing anything else all day. maybe sit in the sun, i like doing that.

I went camping with the Vineyards this weekend and it was lots of fun. There was lots of off roading, sitting around the fire, and freezing. It was a beautiful spot. We tracked down old mines, said hi to donkeys, and climbed hills. Jessica, Chelsea, and I left a little bit early today and did some exploring and it was amazing! Here are some pictures and video.













Chelsea is an amazing driver.



yeah that's me squealing at the beginning.

Sometimes when I am at work I feel like I am in a zen episode of the office. I mean, I think it is inevitable in any office, any small group of people working together, that this will occur. But today I was in the middle of a conversation that went from essential oils, to mold in your stomach, to crystals, to goji berries. And I looked into the camera with Jim's look of disbelief. These folks revert to their secret language that my suburban upbringing did not prepare me for. As I sit and think about it I think I am most like Dwight in this scenario. I really think they should make a reality show about us. It would be amazing. I would watch.

Jessa and I have discovered something amazing and instantly chic. Rub-ons. Its like insta-graphic design on any object that you desire to enhance. Except yourself, I tried that, that didn't work.

My mind was full on the way home but there is nothing left for me to share here with you.

what do you do with a four day weekend?

Read, sleep, sit...and make costumes. And the lady at the fabric store didn't think I could make it in one day- fool! I am the original costume maverick (well, that is a bit of an overstatement, but I've got skills)

please view and enjoy my new most favorite thing ever:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/28343/dr-horribles-sing-along-blog

Today on NPR I heard a story that made me laugh so hard I almost had to pull off the road. As duck hunting season approaches duck hunters have to get permits that are in form of a stamp. The government printed up lots of mailings advertising the number to call for these permits, 1-800-22STAMP. Except they accidentally printed 1-800-22TRAMP. They say its too expensive to send new ones, so the duck hunters will simply be surprised by very, very friendly ladies answering their requests for stamps.

Today the mountain is cold and cloaked in fog, I ran errands this morning, and am sitting on the couch, eating soup and cornbread and reading. Delightful.

I also have been brainstorming ideas for this years batch of Christmas presents and came up with some excellent craftiness. Its going to be amazing. I am so excited I oozing with enthusiasm.

I wonder what will happen tomorrow...

okay,I am still on the couch, watching "How To Succeed in Business without Really Trying" and am suddenly and overwhelmingly longing to be in a musical. Sigh. I even looked up auditions (none that look small town enough for me to actually get up the gumption to go). Alas, I was meant to sing and dance my way through life. Maybe I will write a musical, base it on Whole Health Center.

Jessa is nesting and I am sitting on the couch.

I suddenly and miraculously find myself gifted with a four day weekend. I don't really know what to do with myself. I shall begin with sitting.

At work we have these viles, I don't really understand what they are for exactly, but that they are used for allergy testing and various things. My favorite one is labeled ANCIENT ISSUES and there are others for each emotion, types of food, plants, molds, and organs. Well yesterday, in normal Christa fashion, I dropped and broke kidneyx30 and the magical liquid within spilled all over my dress and legs. oops. I got kidney all over me. I am not sure what will happen, I am waiting for side effects.

On to the adventures of the day!!

I have worked 125 hours in the past two weeks. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

We have been doing training on new software at work and the training takes place early, early in the morning via conference call. Office meetings are notoriously ridiculous but conference calls, they take the cake. We all sit there, huddled around the phone, straining to hear each word. When asked a question we all just look at one another, waiting for someone to answer until finally someone spits out a terse, one word reply, like the kid who got sleeping in class and doesn't have a clue what is going on. I love it. I try not to giggle as I sit through this inane hour of instruction week after week.

I am about to bust it donw to Alamosa, chasing after my friends who left 9 hours ago. I thought last Saturday was the last Saturday I would have to work but it appears fate is not my friend in the unfolding of recent work drama.

I am exhausted and may even imbibe some contraband coffee to get me through this drive. More on Alamosa Adventures to follow.

Jessa and I just spent an incredible amount of time figuring out how to change the template of this very blog. The website (check link at the bottom) is sweet, with lots of very fun and very girly backgrounds. I may change my background more than I blog.

Eli has a new pumpkin hat that I intend to steal (borrow)from him. It fits on my head just fine.

This morning there was an incident with a cat attacking Vashti outside our door. I hurried outside when I heard her yowling and saw the evil predator. I tried to "shoo" him away but he wouldn't budge so finally I picked up some pine cones and began throwing them at him. (I started to throw my shoe but then I realized I didn't want to go get them after I threw them and they were my new turquoise ones). On my sixth pine cone I was suddenly struck by the notion that maybe this isn't a stray house cat at all but some sort of wild-animal-bob-cat type. hmmm. I threw more pine cones anyway. Finally the gigantic cat went away and Vashti was safe. I did some research on bob cats while at work and I am glad that I saved Vashti before realizing that I was pelting a wild animal with pine cones.

I am very tired and have much working to do, I feel like every day I just go to bed and get up again and work some more. I need to squeeze in some fun time!!

but now I have to go to bed.

Anyone with fun, please ring me post hast.

I am so glad I am friends with myself

I do a lot of stupid, clumsy things in public and find it extraordinarily sad when there is no one to laugh with me...for example:

I headed to the gym Tuesday evening after my second thirteen hour day of work this week. I hopped on the treadmill and began running away, headphones in and water bottle balanced on the bottle holder thingy, since it wouldn't fit in. Yeah, my water bottle fell off and rolled down the treadmill, making a crashing noise and breaking the intense, focused ambiance of the gym where you should only be able to hear the thudding baseline of the music in time with your thudding heartbeat. The beautifully muscled necks of the sculpted runners on either side of me watched with amused disdain as I awkwardly scrambled after my water bottle as it continued to roll down the row of treadmills, like Charlie Brown's ineffective quest after the elusive football. Finally I saved it and, water bottle secured once again, I continued my run, pretending that nothing had happened. Until it did happen, again. I gave my water bottle a look of amused disdain and let it lie where it fell. I finished my workout with no further disturbances but as I walked away from the treadmill I opened the delinquent water bottle for a drink. I dropped the lid and as I bent from the waist to pick it up, I poured the entire contents of my water bottle all over the floor. Yes. I then had to ask the aloof yet beautiful man at the desk for a paper towel. He gave me an appraising look, I believe slightly miffed that I had interrupted his intense, focused conversation with a beautiful, sculpted woman in spandex. After a moment of hesitation, during which I just stood there awkwardly (is he about to yell at me?), he handed over a very large, even more awkward giant roll of paper towels that took both hands to lift. Dude, give me a break, I can hardly walk without injuring innocent bystanders and you want me to quarantine the disaster area with something I cannot pick up? Through determination, prayer, and much grunting, I successful removed all signs of my existence and slithered out of the gym, wincing from the withering glares that followed me. Sigh. Good workout Oakes.

I am sitting in a coffee shop in Boulder and its like the Easter parade through the window, so many people walking the streets today. I went on a lovely hike with Rachel this morning and am now enjoying the scenery and anonymity that Boulder has to offer. Such a strange little town that I suspect takes itself too seriously but nontheless I will willingly buy into the facade that today I am a little bit cooler because I am hanging out here, with my laptop and obscure literature. I hope they don't throw me out when they discover I am wearing synthetic materials and not Patagonia.

There is no new news, just the delicious ritual of each new day.

you are single handedly destroying both my love of showtunes and of mountains.

Amy and I climbed Bierstadt today, Amy's first fourteener. It was a great day, good weather, good company, good climbing. Until our descent, when we were mercilessly stalked by a quartet of girls who could not, like sensible people, refrain from expressing their enjoyment of the day in song. Now, those who know me well know that I am no snob, I can appreciate spontaneous public singing (please refer to my brain child: Guerrilla Broadway)and I can appreciate show tunes and musicals (clearly). But when the stage for an impromptu cabaret is the trail down a 14er and the collection doesn't stop at one appropriate round of 'The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Music" but continues through the entirety of the Sound of Music, Fiddler on the Roof, Phantom of the Opera, and a medley of Louis Armstrong....Ladies, please! You need to learn the art of timing, intonation, and moderation. I won't even begin to discuss their attempts at four part harmony.

I have recently developed a phone voice. My voice has captured a gentle, lyrical rhythm as I repeat my scripted greeting, ending in the monotone flatline of a heart moniter expressing certain death. I have become that receptionist. But it is so hard to resist and now that I have realized this tendency, every phone call is an opportunity to satarize myself.

Hyperbole is my M.O.

Amy is in town, we've had fun exploring, watching the Olympics, hanging out, and nertzing. Glorious.

My cat killed a mouse. Good kitty. She left it on the deck. Bad kitty.

I am exhausted to the point of delusion. I hopefully have a good night of sleep ahead but you can never know. As it is I am done with work but have not found the energy to get up from my desk to exit the building. I am working up momentum to get out the door.

Amy found me cute blue moccasins at the thrift store. They have brown cordory on the inside and are delciously comfy. like a scallop.

Some of the loveliest things come in the form of mamas...

Our adventures included:
Picnicking in Boulder, Celestial Seasonings Tea Tour (thus the hairnets), exploring my favorite antique store, Hiking and a lovely breakfast on Mom's birthday, and a rainbow at the end of the trip!

Fourteen Rabbits and Big Black Snake...

is what wildlife I saw on my little hike this evening.

I was kind of tired and grumpy all day and was really done in when I had an encounter with one of my neighbors on the way home. He pulled into the gate in front of me and I had already pushed the magic button to open the gate, so it swung wide to let us both in. I drive through the gate behind him when he stops his car and gets out. He is dressed in a kilt, beret, tall socks with plaid tassels, and has a dirk lashed to his leg. I roll down my window, smile, and say hello, but even before I can finish my greeting he brusquely asks who I am. Um, your neighbor. After brief questioning he finally got back in his car and I followed him up the hill. What pretension! I was like, dude, who are YOU? Crazy Celtic man. Go home and defend your lands and leave me alone. Grrrrr,dirk or not I could've taken him.


I am, finally, going to bed.

Truly, it is amazing how intoxicating it is to be honest and to speak your mind. I would like to think of myself as a bold person, but really I dread confrontation. I think it may be I fear that any sort of speaking out may draw criticism to myself, which generally I despise in my internal and eternal quest for perfection (what do you mean its not possible?) But there are delicious moments of peace, like the eye of the storm, when I can see who I am and what I want so clearly. And then life begins again.

I have the relationship experience of a middle schooler. In my shyness (?) or whatever of youth I seemed to have missed the practice grounds of dating during which most people seem to have worked out all the kinks (as I write this I really don’t think I believe this, I think most folks still have lots of kinks and if they don’t, I really don’t want to be friends with them). As much as I claim to just embrace the awkwardness of it all (what else can you do?), really most situations leave me a bit queasy. I feel like there is a secret language I lack (What are you really saying?) or some manual I need tucked in my back pocket to assist me. Either way, I am forging ahead and finding it all both amusing and exhausting. I mean people are really a funny breed. We preen, we prance, and we pause to see what the others reaction will be. Personal, I think Men should come humbly before the Throne of Woman (er, Christa), supplicating for the Privilege of Attendance. As I toss my Calculating Curls (short, straight hair),designed to bring Men to their Knees, I mercilessly sweep through the Sea of Beaus, my Heavenly Blue Eyes swiftly measuring the Worth of Each Brave (or fool hardy) Man (boy) that dares enter my Shining Presence. I’m a Man-Eater. (Cue music. Any other fair maidens want to volunteer to come live with me in my temple? I am currently arranging a few musical numbers and I need some back up dancers. Costumes will be provided).

I find my own wit to be devastatingly funny. Ironically enough, given this haughty tableau, I am really bothered by my dates paying for me. I cannot figure out if that is because I just feel uncomfortable with them treating me or because my sense of independence is affronted or because I have an underdeveloped sense of worth and don’t want anyone to go into any trouble for me. I will ask my acupuncturist.

I am trying to complete my supplemental reading for my new position. I was only on page 4 when I decided to take a break and write this and as I am doing so I am drinking contraband Chai. Sigh. Perfection will come.

I am the person who enjoys Christmas Eve more than Christmas, meaning I find the unfurled potential or anticipation of an event much more intoxicating than the reality. I think this is a symptom of my overactive imagination. All that to say, my imaginary, youthful picture of Adult Life seemed a whole lot nicer (and whole lot more like a musical) than the reality. Though Jessa and I did spontaneously sing a duet last night.

Other updates:
• Vashti is officially an outdoor cat, though I do listen for mountain lions in order to rescue her as the situation may require.
• Nursing seems to be my next most likely (take with a grain of salt for it is my 37th new life plan since February) career choice.
• Acupuncture is a God Send. Quite literally I believe it may be the foundation of my current level of sanity.
• I enjoy living simply but poverty is overrated.
• I planning to make myself a dress out of an old sheet. It’s going to be gorgeous.


I am going back to being completely and utterly productive for daylight cannot be wasted and there is much yet to be done.

I have recently been reading books that were made into great movies...Chocolat, The Painted Veil, and now Atonement. They were all excellent. I also tried to read the sequel to Chocolat, The Girl with No Shadow, but I wasn't two chapters into it before I was bored, so I didn't finish it, unfortunate but true. Atonement, so far, is my favorite. Its delicious.

Great news on my new position at work. A meeting yesterday revealed that the boss has plans for me to be involved in marketing and eventually be a patient manager or liaison, doing follow up and checking in with patients. Fun, eh?

A recent episode of hand holding reveals that hand holding may require certain technique by the initiator of said action, as the result was certain numbness in my fingers, loss of circulation, and sweaty palms. Yet no amount of awkwardness could take away from the overall sweetness of the event.


Megan and I have a sushi date this Friday, thank goodness!! It shall be divine.

The end.

update:

1. Recently they (um, the dictionary people) have added some new words to the dictionary which I love.

my favorites include:

Air quotes (1989): gesture made by raising and flexing the index and middle fingers of both hands, used to call attention to a spoken word or expression.

(oh the 80s)

Dark energy (1998): hypothetical form of energy that produces a force that opposes gravity and is thought to cause the accelerating expansion of the universe.

(cool, I always thought dark energy only existed in, like, star wars)

Fanboy (1919): boy who is an enthusiastic devotee, such as of comics or movies.

(is there no fangirl?)

Mondegreen (1954): word or phrase that results from a mishearing of something said or sung. From the mishearing in a Scottish ballad of "laid him on the green" as "Lady Mondegreen."

(classic)

Pescatarian (1993): vegetarian whose diet includes fish.

(that's me!)

Racino (1995): racetrack at which slot machines are available for gamblers

(why not)