Last night I went to a talk at the delightful Mercury Cafe called Eat Here Now- a discussion about urban gardening and food in Denver and the greater Colorado area. It was amazing. We got lost on the way (of course) and so I had to squeeze into a nook and strain to hear the happenings. I loved just listening to people talk about their passion of growing things and quoting Wendell Berry without heed. I got to talk with a guy who works with a group who helps people convert their lawns into urban, neighborhood gardens. Sigh. I could see my dream for a commune/farm/hostel/happy-gathering-place blooming before my eyes. I will grow things, I will spend my days in the dirt- whether that means on my windowsill or on some acreage. Life is all about community, people! Community and really good food that you know the name of who grew it for you. and really good books, life is about that too. and naps.

tonight, driving home, it was so pretty I almost liked the snow.

I really like going to the gym and working out while watching trashy tv shows. Tonight: the Bachelor and some of True Beauty. Fantastic. A funny thing happened while I was running, the dude next to me started talking to me and I was like, dude, I am running and have headphones on- why are you talking to me? He commented on us being the only two people still on treadmills, he commented on how many miles I ran, he commented on me not taking a break while running. um, okay, I am so glad you are impressed with my treadmill skills, but the headphones are still on dude. :) It was just kind of funny (and don't let my sassafras fool you, I was very nice to the intrusive man. Just let me run fool!)

****addendum to previous story*****

Yeah I totally screwed up my Thor story and left out the part that made it funny- The faux Thor, seeing the burglar, and realizing the prime opportunity he had before him, you know, being dressed like a god and all, charged the robber while brandishing his shield and sword and screaming a war cry that could be heard to Olympus. That is what made the robber hop out the window.

hehe.

my mouse always drifts to the left...slowly and with utmost certainty, it always moves to the left. I am watching cold mountain, such a sad movie. and crafting by the fire. I went outside real quick to get something from my car and the moon was so bright and beautiful. It made me wonder at how distracted I get in the inside of my house, working, playing, watching tv, that I forget how pretty it is outside. I can't remember what I was reading but yesterday, while reading this inspirational yet non-memorable text, I was struck with the possibility of life, that I can do whatever I wanted, that the rules that govern my life could be what I decided. Like, I could live with only what I need, I could open my home to whoever needs a safe place, I could be poor and happy, I could travel and learn from different people, I could feel free. and I could live under the moon.

Heard a great story:

A man came home to his apartment to a burglar robbing him. The robber, upon seeing the man return, was filled with fear and jumped out of the window. The man had just returned from a costume party and being over six foot tall and dressed like Thor, the god of thunder, had, given the robber's response, the desired effect. Apparently the robber had had a few drinks and was completely taken aback by the fact he had invaded the home of Thor. Amazing. Could you imagine a better opportunity to be dressed in such a costume?

I love Saturdays. I have committed to not getting out of my pajamas today. I am on the couch surrounded my blankets and books and I am going to snuggle until it is time for bed again. lovely.

My first week back has been a good one, lots of work to do but I made good leway. Andrea, who I work with, actually whispered when I was talking to a patient, "she sounds so grownup." Yep, I guess I do.

I am just chillin, nothing more to say.

oh and my theme song for 2009: Don't Stop Me Now by Queen

(I really love Queen but recently watched some live videos of them performing and decided I like to just hear them and not see them otherwise they kind of creep me out)

she'd say "I be a lady"

Today was, in the word's of Mary, a life maintenance day. Bills paid, errands run, laudry done, room cleaned (ish), etc etc etc. I must admit I feel a little anchor-less as I prepare to re-start daily life. I am not quite sure why. I have been trying to figure out what I can do to make my life (mostly my long work days) feel less draining and exhausting. At the end of most days I feel like I am searching for something to give my day meaning or purpose besides work. Mainly that search ends up with me watching TV too late into the night- which, you know, provides lots of meaning for my life. Speaking of which, I should probably turn it off and go to bed. I am also trying to be a person of greater integrity. For me, I think that means speaking my mind about what I can and cannot do, not avoiding conflict (this mainly means that I avoid things that I think may possibly create conflict or may result in someone saying something I may not like, projecting my own anxiety and insecurity on ANY situation that I feel the least bit unsure about), being honest and straight forward.

I think I think too much.

I am going to go to bed and read fluffy literature of no substance so my dreams will be equally fluffy and insubstantial.

what a difference a day makes

Today has been funny. Acutually yesterday was pretty funny too. Okay, I admit it- its always funny when I am around. (Funny- not necessarily fun)

Act 1: Christa in flight.

Today I missed my flight. I thought it left at 12 (I am looking at my email that says it was to leave at 12- I was not wrong) and when I got to the desk at 11 am to check in she said I was booked on a flight left at 10:42 am. WHAT! So after much typing on her computer she found me another flight on Northwest that would get me to Denver just an hour later. cool. But then I had to go stand in another line (I had been in line 1/2 hour already- you know, which made me miss my flight) and in that line the lady behind the counter got really confused and had to call the help line and was confusing me and scaring me and I thought I would get stranded in Detroit indefiniately. Finally she got me sorted and sent me through security where I was selected for a high security search where they went through all my bags and did the whole pat down shin dig. sweet. Once in Detroit I had ten minutes to get from gate A20 to A75 (see Christa run). I made it. Once in Denver I met up with Eric and we were going to bust a move and head to the nuggets game that night. But the baggage claim was so so late that they apologized and handed out vouchers for flight discounts. Finally we got the baggage and rushed to the game. phew.

Act 2: The Game

Megan received these sweet tickets from someone at church. The tickets were for the Nuggets/ Hornets game (the Hornets made me nostalgic), front row club seats and the tickets included 20 bucks each for concessions. Holler! The waitress came to ourseats, took our orders and brought us our food. If that wasn't exciting enough- its was 80s night. Everyone was decked out in mullets and day glow leotards. And...wait for it...VANILLA ICE PERFORMED AT HALF TIME! I can now die, my life complete. It was incredible.

Act 3: Back to Work.

I refuse to write this section. I don't believe in working.



I laughed a lot over the holidays and it was wonderful. I love people.

A year is but a blink of an eye...

A year in review. I recently realized that this will be the first time I have stayed in one location longer than a year, the first time since college, which doesn't really count because college is transition and moving, so really the first time ever that I have stayed in a place longer than a year. And I think it will be a good thing.

Here is a quick recap of 2008, first lines from the first blogs of each month.

January: again i am seized by a feeling so distinct and rare... i know exactly what i need to do.
February: i need a nap, a long one. maybe for a couple days.
March: eric and jessa and eli are moved in, things are being re arranged and un packed still but it is lovely to wake up to other voices and to have so many lovely people around.
April: tomorrow i am running the health shop solo. lets hope all goes well. i have my minimum training and a large amount of b.s. to help me sail through sat and sun. excellent.
May: yep, its May 1st and its a blizzard outside my window. what is wrong with Colorado?
June: so i am back from vacation and back into the routine.
July: pictures include: tall towers, the dragon, Ethan (who is ridiculously un-scared of heights), stain glass windows
August: Our adventures included:Picnicking in Boulder, Celestial Seasonings Tea Tour (thus the hairnets), exploring my favorite antique store, Hiking and a lovely breakfast on Mom's birthday, and a rainbow at the end of the trip
September: Jessa is nesting and I am sitting on the couch.
October: So as many of you know I like to instantly commit to some idea, career, or random inspiration.
November: There is a group of people that when I return to them I feel like I can see myself better and better recall who I want to become.
December: i cried a little.

and for the future- a bit about 2009:

Year of the Ox
Theme song: TBA
New Project 1: Marathon
New Project 2: Make Friends

I am ready for summer.

wait, what?

okay, so its December 15th. Like, really close to Christmas. And it doesn't feel like Christmas...at all. I think this mainly has to do with the fact for the first time in years I am not 1. working with kids or 2. helping to organize Christmas themed activities for a non-profit organization (aka making elf costumes with Bell House in the 'Mosa). I still have my elf costume. In an effort to evoke Christmas I declare that I am going to wear it. Everyday. Until Christmas. I have also decided to, in this moment, make gingerbread houses for Eric and I's joint birthday/ graduate student "yay-the-the-semester-is-over" extravaganza. Really the time to accomplish these tasks does not exist (Christa's work schedule: Tuesday 8am-8pm, Wednesday 8am-8pm, Thursday 8am-3pm Party=7pm) but, you know, some things just need to happen.

Friday was supposed to be my "celebrating the life of Christa" day but it looks like I may have agreed to do work related activities that day. I have no resistance to any request. Crap.

My life has been really uninteresting except I work a lot. And have been feeling pretty overwhelmed for the past three weeks. Its getting better, however. 2009 is the year of the ox or bull. This, apparently, means it will be a year dedicated to hard work and working hard. This, apparently, is a good thing if you know what you are working for but difficult if you don't. So I am going to figure out what I am working for or toward, so as to not be caught unawares. I will keep you posted.

I love fiction and stories. I happen to work with a lot of people who say they have a hard time reading fiction and I have to just look at them baffled and bemused. I cannot comprehend choosing non-fiction over fiction. I mean I have enjoyed my fair share of non-fiction but in no way does that trump a good work of fiction. 9 out of 10 times I will choose something completely made up over something that may possibly improve my mind.

yep. I will be home from Christmas Eve and fly back to Colorado on January 3rd, with a visit to Josh, Katrina, and Amelia (yay!) from the 30th to the 2nd.

Once I Had An Open Heart

http://www.slvdweller.com/index.php?/archives/2008/10/04/The-Government-Seems-To-Have-A-Hard-Time-Passing-Bills-About-Things-That-Are-Free.xhtml

Full-length video for Katey Sleeveless' song "The Government Seems To Have A Hard Time Passing Bills About Things That Are Free." Song written and performed by Katey Sleeveless. Directed by Katey Sleeveless and Eric Shiveley. Filmed and edited by Eric Shiveley. Edited on a TRS-80 Katey found in an abandoned rail car.

something to say

I sustained my most dramatic sewing injury this saturday. It is not uncommon (at least for me) to sew through my finger every now and then. Usually it is through a small bit of flesh, the needle pops in and out, no harm done but yet another piece of evidence collected for the case against a graceful Christa. However, this time the injury was a bit more dramatic (and, I think, humorous). I allowed my left middle finger (darn it for being longer than my other digits) to get a wee bit close the the sewing needle and the needle did indeed puncture my finger but it punctured enough flesh to cause the end of the needle to break once it exited the other end of my finger. Ow. Thankfully I was quick to pull my foot off the pedal but closer examination of the situation revealed that my finger was essentially trapped against the sewing machine, the broken end of the needle acting like the barb of a fishing hook. The nearest pair of scissors were in the middle of the floor and I couldn't move my finger due to the jammed bobbin (thus preventing me from using the thread cutter on the back of the machine to cut myself free). Yeah. I was home alone and finally figured out a way to stretch across the to the scissor without moving my poor little finger and scootching the scissors closer with my foot(10 points for a graceful Christa. A slight tangent: I have come to the conclusion that I am very capable of grace and coordination but only in uncommon circumstances, like scrambling boulders or precarious sewing situations. Please note that I managed to rescue myself AND not get any blood on my project). Once free I ran downstairs, doused my finger in peroxide and proceeded to remove the strands of thread from my finger. I almost wish I had taken a photo because it was so bizarre looking. The finger is healing well, though it may be suffering from PTSD and looks as if it had a violent run in with a mini vampire.

♫ http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/c0cf508ff8/prop-8-the-musical-starring-jack-black-john-c-reilly-and-many-more-from-fod-team-jack-black-craig-robinson-john-c-reilly-and-rashida-jones

i cried a little.

Happy Living Gathering Place

There is a group of people that when I return to them I feel like I can see myself better and better recall who I want to become. These are my fellow americorp-ites. Last night I went up to Boulder to hang out with Rachel and to see Rhonda, from the valley, play some music. Annie, Rachel, Rhonda, and I sat on Rachel's front porch, listening to Rhonda's music and chatting about the Valley. When we got to the place where Rhonda was playing - lo and behold- Muck and Kelsea appeared! Glorious Surprise! Rhonda was an amazing performer, her songs humorous and authentic. After she was done we returned to Rachel's to yet a again chat about the good old times and dream about future endeavors.

Rhonda

Rhonda is one of the most amazing and lovely people I know. I am by no means a close friend of hers but I love any time I spend with her. She seems to know herself so well and is not afraid to be herself. She lives on a mountain, working only enough to get what she needs (dog food and beer), and being content. She is real and honest.

Katie Bird

Our conversation, in the discussion of all things Alamosa and unique to the valley, we arrived upon Katie Bird (now known as Katie Sleeveless), an enigma. She is a musician, a squatter, an independent soul, a female bob dylan, a revolutionary, in all ways a mystery. She lives out in the country side, with but a few belongings, making her way with her music. I don't think this brief paragraph will describe her at all adequately but I think an introduction in person is the only thing that would clearly give one a picture of who she is. In this house she is squatting at (with permission of the owner- the house is literally falling in on itself) she got the water turned on but there was no outside picket for her to water her garden. So she went to a nearby church and asked if she could tap into the church's puquios (an ancient method of irrigation via trench). The church said yes and so Katie, with the help of many, dug a very very long trench from the church to her house. Here is a music video filmed of a party on the day she opened the puquio to her house- classic San Luis Valley. ( Ack!I cannot find the video. I will try again later to find it and load it, cause its amazing)

okay, Yo-Yo Ma is on the Colbert Report and he is a god. My evening is complete.

What is my reality?

The new receptionist that we hired (number 6 in two months)is a really, really nice girl. who is a colorpuncturist. and reads auras. I love the people I work with. They talk about stuff that I have no idea about. Apparently my aura is blue (sweeeeet) and I need more violet in my life, which will make me more in touch with my intuition. I should wear more purple and carry around amethysts (conveniently, which she is selling).

I did some research online to figure out what she was talking about. Here is one interpretation of my aura -->
Blue: Balanced existence, sustaining life, eased nerve system, transmitting forces and energy. People with blue strong point in their Aura are relaxed, balanced and feel ready to live in a cave and survive. They are born survivors. Blue thought is a thought about relaxing the nerve system to achieve the balance of the mind or a thought about surviving.

I am totally ready to live in a cave!! Bring it on! If I could just forsake all of civilization and go be a hermit in the woods I would totally do it. The only thing holding me back is that I really like people. and don't like the cold. So I will become a recluse in some tropical locale.

I have recently been oozing creativity and sewing productivity. I ventured into the scary land of knits...with only slight success. I mean, I made the dress but I don't know if it is actual wearable in public without drawing mocking comments. I will probably wear it anyway.

Since my diet revolution (which, I think, is best typified by my coffee grinder being used only to grind up flax seeds rather than coffee beans) my baking skills have been abandoned. Recently I have been determined to create tasty, healthy baked goods but have had little success (mostly these baked goods turn out tasting like very very heavy nothingness) But I have stumbled upon a new blog that has provided the perfect inspiration for new recipes - www.elanaspantry.com. This lady has some fantastic recipes and lives nearby in Boulder.

So I adapted her honey cake into a lovely carrot cake- I was kind of making it up as I go along, so keep in mind these measurements are an approximation.

Santa Clara Carrot Cake

1 1/2 cups Almond Flour
1 1/2 cups Oat Flour
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 tsp Cinnamon (I just dump it in until I am satisfied it is fragrant enough)
1 tsp ginger
1/2 tsp all spice
1 tsp grated lemon rind (you can never add enough lemon, in my opinion)
1 1/2 cups grated carrots
1/2 cup agave nectar
1/4 cup oil (grapeseed or even olive oil)
2 eggs
1/2 cup buttermilk

Combine all dry ingredients, mix well and then stir in the carrots. In a separate bowl combine the agave nectar, oil, eggs, and buttermilk- mix well and combine with dry ingredients. Pour batter into a 9 in round cake pan. Bake at 350 degrees fro 35-40 minutes. You could also through some walnuts in there too.



Before the cake hit the oven.


The First Slice -YUM!!




My most recent knitting projects- hats with tassels! Eli rocks it out.

I find myself all too amusing

This is a fake bio I wrote for myself for work's website. Marcy liked it so much she used it as my real one.


Christa has recently escaped from the muggy southern region to the lush, vivacious state of Colorado. Her journey to the west began with a year-long search for purpose in Alamosa, Colorado, where she was a dedicated and driven Americorp volunteer, and has concluded with her delightful discovery of the Whole Health Center in Denver. At the Whole Health Center not only has Christa discovered gainful employment and solvency but a revival of her spirit from the peaceful work environment and excellent co-workers. Christa received a degree in Sociology from the prestigious University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. She also is cello prodigy and has performed, to standing ovation, in Carnegie Hall. In her free time Christa constructs stories of fiction and fancy, tames wild animals with her cheerful singing voice, works at the loom, and is an ambassador to Turkistan. You will be able to recognize her from her luxurious wheat colored hair, dazzling smile, and effervescent charm.

So as many of you know I like to instantly commit to some idea, career, or random inspiration. I dive into the idea, try it on, swim around in it, and, generally, ultimately, reject it. But a girl has got to try a few things on before she settles on it. That being said, I have rejected my nursing ambitions (I think we would encounter the same issue of a super-drained-and-exhausted-Christa very quickly)and am still contemplating some sort of nutritional consultant/ food guru-ness. But tonight I want to be a teacher, elementary school please. I could teach children to read, be creative, be nice, and how to paint. And during the summers (holler) I could work on farms, be an outward bound instructor, go to other countries, build my dream house on my dream farm, have general adventures. What a delicious idea. (And I would really like teaching kids and be good at it, so it wouldn't be quite the selfish "I-am-becoming-a-teacher-in-order-to-have-the-summers-off" scenario- almost but not quite). All I need is a fairy godmother-ish poof to grant me an insta-masters in education.

Today the destiny-magic-8-ball-gods-of-the-ipod gave me a great theme song for the day: We've got a groovy thing goin'- its so true, I do have a groovy thing goin'.

I had this really bizarre dream last night,one that I woke up from and thought to myself, I should write this down, it is so bizarre and brilliant. And I did write it down. And my general impression was, wow, this is bizarre, sick, and kind of twisted. Thus I won't pass it on here except to say I think my brain is a little cracked.

I am putting forward a motion that all people I love and like need to move into the same neighborhood. This is inspired by how delightful my currant communal situation is and while I don't want to live with everyone I like in one house, I want everyone I like to be nearby. So please take note and everyone move to Denver post haste. Thanks.