Can of Worms

Today I announced, to Marcy's horror, that I am a punctuation pluralist: we are all going in the same direction and it doesn't really matter how we get there, with or without commas. I got her some cold water after she revived from her faint.

I am planning to infiltrate the office's communication system with some imaginary memos. Here is an example:

Memo 5698: Interoffice referrals

In order to facilitate better usage of practitioner referral coupons (please refer to memo 5003), coupons will be stapled to clients ear lobe until redeemed. This is an extension of our auricular acupuncture program and should increase returning patient appointments.

Please contact me with any questions.

Christa Oakes, CNC
Acupuncture Health Manager and Lifestyle Educator

I also have written a memo to my hair today.

Memo 5699: Non compliant Coif

It has come to my attention that you feel that you do not have to comply with the current Office Dress Code titled: "Trying to Look Normal and Not Like Daryl Hannah From Clan of the Cave Bears" I have included a picture for your reference since clearly you take no notice of what is reflected in the mirror.

I will offer you other cinema actresses to draw inspiration from. Grace Kelly. Cate Blancett. Rita Hayworth. Even a classic Jennifer Anistan would suffice. I am not even asking for anything Rapunzel-esque. Correct this situation or you will be sent home.

Thanks,

Christa