Fourteen Rabbits and Big Black Snake...

is what wildlife I saw on my little hike this evening.

I was kind of tired and grumpy all day and was really done in when I had an encounter with one of my neighbors on the way home. He pulled into the gate in front of me and I had already pushed the magic button to open the gate, so it swung wide to let us both in. I drive through the gate behind him when he stops his car and gets out. He is dressed in a kilt, beret, tall socks with plaid tassels, and has a dirk lashed to his leg. I roll down my window, smile, and say hello, but even before I can finish my greeting he brusquely asks who I am. Um, your neighbor. After brief questioning he finally got back in his car and I followed him up the hill. What pretension! I was like, dude, who are YOU? Crazy Celtic man. Go home and defend your lands and leave me alone. Grrrrr,dirk or not I could've taken him.


I am, finally, going to bed.

Truly, it is amazing how intoxicating it is to be honest and to speak your mind. I would like to think of myself as a bold person, but really I dread confrontation. I think it may be I fear that any sort of speaking out may draw criticism to myself, which generally I despise in my internal and eternal quest for perfection (what do you mean its not possible?) But there are delicious moments of peace, like the eye of the storm, when I can see who I am and what I want so clearly. And then life begins again.

I have the relationship experience of a middle schooler. In my shyness (?) or whatever of youth I seemed to have missed the practice grounds of dating during which most people seem to have worked out all the kinks (as I write this I really don’t think I believe this, I think most folks still have lots of kinks and if they don’t, I really don’t want to be friends with them). As much as I claim to just embrace the awkwardness of it all (what else can you do?), really most situations leave me a bit queasy. I feel like there is a secret language I lack (What are you really saying?) or some manual I need tucked in my back pocket to assist me. Either way, I am forging ahead and finding it all both amusing and exhausting. I mean people are really a funny breed. We preen, we prance, and we pause to see what the others reaction will be. Personal, I think Men should come humbly before the Throne of Woman (er, Christa), supplicating for the Privilege of Attendance. As I toss my Calculating Curls (short, straight hair),designed to bring Men to their Knees, I mercilessly sweep through the Sea of Beaus, my Heavenly Blue Eyes swiftly measuring the Worth of Each Brave (or fool hardy) Man (boy) that dares enter my Shining Presence. I’m a Man-Eater. (Cue music. Any other fair maidens want to volunteer to come live with me in my temple? I am currently arranging a few musical numbers and I need some back up dancers. Costumes will be provided).

I find my own wit to be devastatingly funny. Ironically enough, given this haughty tableau, I am really bothered by my dates paying for me. I cannot figure out if that is because I just feel uncomfortable with them treating me or because my sense of independence is affronted or because I have an underdeveloped sense of worth and don’t want anyone to go into any trouble for me. I will ask my acupuncturist.

I am trying to complete my supplemental reading for my new position. I was only on page 4 when I decided to take a break and write this and as I am doing so I am drinking contraband Chai. Sigh. Perfection will come.

I am the person who enjoys Christmas Eve more than Christmas, meaning I find the unfurled potential or anticipation of an event much more intoxicating than the reality. I think this is a symptom of my overactive imagination. All that to say, my imaginary, youthful picture of Adult Life seemed a whole lot nicer (and whole lot more like a musical) than the reality. Though Jessa and I did spontaneously sing a duet last night.

Other updates:
• Vashti is officially an outdoor cat, though I do listen for mountain lions in order to rescue her as the situation may require.
• Nursing seems to be my next most likely (take with a grain of salt for it is my 37th new life plan since February) career choice.
• Acupuncture is a God Send. Quite literally I believe it may be the foundation of my current level of sanity.
• I enjoy living simply but poverty is overrated.
• I planning to make myself a dress out of an old sheet. It’s going to be gorgeous.


I am going back to being completely and utterly productive for daylight cannot be wasted and there is much yet to be done.

I have recently been reading books that were made into great movies...Chocolat, The Painted Veil, and now Atonement. They were all excellent. I also tried to read the sequel to Chocolat, The Girl with No Shadow, but I wasn't two chapters into it before I was bored, so I didn't finish it, unfortunate but true. Atonement, so far, is my favorite. Its delicious.

Great news on my new position at work. A meeting yesterday revealed that the boss has plans for me to be involved in marketing and eventually be a patient manager or liaison, doing follow up and checking in with patients. Fun, eh?

A recent episode of hand holding reveals that hand holding may require certain technique by the initiator of said action, as the result was certain numbness in my fingers, loss of circulation, and sweaty palms. Yet no amount of awkwardness could take away from the overall sweetness of the event.


Megan and I have a sushi date this Friday, thank goodness!! It shall be divine.

The end.

update:

1. Recently they (um, the dictionary people) have added some new words to the dictionary which I love.

my favorites include:

Air quotes (1989): gesture made by raising and flexing the index and middle fingers of both hands, used to call attention to a spoken word or expression.

(oh the 80s)

Dark energy (1998): hypothetical form of energy that produces a force that opposes gravity and is thought to cause the accelerating expansion of the universe.

(cool, I always thought dark energy only existed in, like, star wars)

Fanboy (1919): boy who is an enthusiastic devotee, such as of comics or movies.

(is there no fangirl?)

Mondegreen (1954): word or phrase that results from a mishearing of something said or sung. From the mishearing in a Scottish ballad of "laid him on the green" as "Lady Mondegreen."

(classic)

Pescatarian (1993): vegetarian whose diet includes fish.

(that's me!)

Racino (1995): racetrack at which slot machines are available for gamblers

(why not)

i think i am the type of person that gets stressed out way too easily. good news, i have some new Chinese herbs called Happy Day that are supposed to work wonders.

I have a new job! (ish) Same location, Whole Health Center, but I am going to be a full time acupuncture assistant. Hooray! I am going to get even more training and only work three and a half days a week! brilliant! (two twelve hours, a ten hour, and a six hour shift) I am stoked. I am also applying for another job to supplement, when I get done I will probably be working 55 to 60 hour weeks. cool. this will all work, i promise.

yay. (she cheers in monotone)

every princess needs a tower...

pictures include: tall towers, the dragon, Ethan (who is ridiculously un-scared of heights), stain glass windows









and who would have thought i would have found one in a national forest built by a conspiracy theorist/ anti-government/ determined man with a vision. the tower is 126 feet tall, the dragon breaths fire, he has been working on it by himself for 40 years.


please forgive my video skills, aka i turned the camera, oops

mt Bierstadt and mt. Evans

just pictures.

Mt. Torrey and Mt. Gray

today Ethan and I hiked two 14ers in one day. (i have done this once before in 2003 and we started hiking at 3 am) Today we left the house at 6 with the plan of hiking by 7.30. which would have totally worked except my suburu couldn't drive up the jeep trail (of course we get to the top and there is my exact make and model of a car...oops) so we walked an extra three miles uphill. long story short sum up: 11 miles, 2 14ers, 7 hours. some vomiting and nausea (altitude sickness). highlights: we saw mt. goats, good views, we came home. i am exhausted.

i am sitting on the couch and am sooooo tired.


but tomorrow ethan and i are going to climb a mountain. excellent. pictures will follow shortly. i mean, like, tomorrow when we are done.

june is bustin' out all over

my new do...

my cat is now one with nature (no she is not dead) she has gotten in touch with her inner nature diva.

last night in bible trivia we were stupid enough to give megan a question that the answer to was vashti. silly us. she won. (i definitively lost, i claim danny as my life line next game. i think i would have held my own but the three other players were baptist and 2/3 of my opponents had graduated from seminary. there was not really any point in the game where i stood a fighting chance) this is when megan would like me to bring attention to the fact the she won and was not one of the seminary graduates. however, it was a close game, all three of them were poised on the dove, each about to claim victory with the utterance of a correct answer. i was still on 'letters, number, and sequences' two rainbow arches away from the cross and a cross away from the dove. i clearly don't love Jesus enough








i love you dad :)

tonight i made myself shrimp and grits.

only i forgot to take off the tails of the shrimp which makes for awkward eating. or, possibly, more enjoyable eating 'cause you gots to use your fingers.

i watched 'the happening' with megan yesterday and while it was mediocre i awoke this morning and in the quietness of the house i realized that easily tons of people could meet disaster in the world and i would never realize it until i left the mountain. our house can be really really creepy very very easily.

i get really excited when i have deleted all my emails. i mean i have less than ten emails in my inbox. sometimes i get a little sad that most my emails are junk and not from anyone interesting. i go through periods in my life where i don't want to talk to anyone and scream when my phone rings or i have an email. but when i am normal i really miss emails and phone calls.

eric, megan, and i went to the patio of the morrison inn for drinks tonight. good times, the highlight of my social life. megan recalled her loathing for me when i voted republican. ah good times.

now we are sitting in the living room, each with laptops on our laps watching west wing and i am pretending to have people to talk to and things to do on my computer. which i do not. i am not really into my computer.

megan and i were also reflecting on how most of our generation of Intervarisity-ites graduated and moved on with their lives without marrying other same generation IVers, when it seems that so many of the generation before and after us very much so got married. what is it about our circle of friends that was so different?

i really enjoy only working four hours on fridays, especially when my saturdays are at least 10 hour shifts.

i am already sort of planning my 25th birthday (yeah, about six months in advance) but my 24th birthday was so lame(i planned a whole party, hand made invitations, no one came; it sounds worse than it was, in reality i actually had a much better birthday hanging out only with megan than hanging out with a bunch of strangers) but all the same, i feel like 25 needs to be somewhat momentous and i really like my birthday and i like to throw parties. for myself. and i am going to make 25 a good one. i have some milestones to reach.


you are forewarned.


today i could find clothespins but no clothesline in target. ironic, no?

sometimes i wish i was smart enough to work in DC and sometimes i am really glad i am not.

my cat is possessed but surprisingly well behaved when you through her out with the mountain lions.

updates:
i cut my hair off (it is now a delicious chin length bob)
i think i now know my life plan (thanks to a hand reader)
girls night out was a huge success (i wore my pink dress)
we rearranged the living room (bye bye to grandma's rug)
i asked my boss to proof read my children's book (eek!)

i feel a little bit weary this evening but i am contemplating new plant purchases for my dog pen garden. i heard on NPR a story about this young guy who began a new business, what is basically sharecropping in the suburbs. he helps folks plant their yard with crops and neighborhood members (those without garden yards) pay a small price for a share of the crops produced, like miniature neighborhoods CSA's. that is so boulder.

my naturally response to anything disagreeable is anger. i don't think this is normal.

there have been some bizarre occurrences at work, drama filled, the most troublesome part being i have a very strong sense that i in no way understand what is going on nor do i have the full story yet my actions seem to have served as a catalyst in these recent events.

i have been telling the same stories over and over again these past few days. 'did i mention such and such' i will say and invariably i have.

i will post hair pictures, for those concerned, soon.

so i am back from vacation and back into the routine.

it is nice to have that feeling of it being good to be back, instead of a return to a place bringing about feelings of dread and trepidation.

though i did receive a call from the past that brought about nausea. i am employing coping mechanism of avoidance and plan to ignore all things uncomfortable.

jessa and i went to Boulder today, ate sushi ( i have a new fav; statue of liberty, it has tuna and apple) shopped at stores closing down thus getting excellent deals and i gave in and purchased my ultimate temptation: small bowls. i have a thing for petite dishes of pastel, primary, or patterned design. i bought two pink and two green dishes that remind me, for some reason, of Samantha's (the American Girl Doll) dishes in book number four, Samantha's Birthday Surprise. For those unfamiliar with this series of delightful (and educational) books, basically they kind of look like lily pad bowls. lovely. i plan to eat everything out of these bowl.

now i am watching (and forcing my roommates to watch) Stardust. Cheesy, predictable, and magical- some of my favorite elements of film. i cannot exist in a world where i don't have some sort of belief in magic. yes, i believe in real magic.

i feel like it is necessary to go over some highlights from my vacation, especially since i have not blogged in so long, but it feels rather exhausting to do so. basically, it was the best post-college trip home i have had. a perfect balance of family (though mom probably didn't think so *wink*), friends, rest, and adventure.

it was great to see everyone, especially baby Amelia, who has stolen my heart.

Megan is hovering because i am using her computer...so i say adieu.

peace out yo

packing is overrated; instead i am watching Dracula 2000 - excellent. i love cheesy vampire movies. added bonus- the hero was Edmund from Mansfield Park. i am pleased. thus my packing plan: grab, throw, and zip. oh snap, there is blood, here come the vampires.

oh and the preist is from firefly, the captain. clearly my kind of film.

it has been many moons since my past blog.

i have been working A LOT.

and had an episode of illness.

and my cat smells like poo.

i am going back to the queen city tomorrow, where i anticipate humidity and hopefully a raucous thunder storm. it rained yesterday here which is not saying much, but there were some tornadoes.

um, i suppose with blogging there is an assumption that there have been major occurrences going on to talk about, but there is not. which is why i am looking even harder for magical portals that will whisk me away to other lands. (yeah, i saw prince caspian-oh Narnia where are you) there is this fine line i walk, which due to my overwhelming restraint has not been crossed, where i may at any moment decide that i should only wear medieval gowns, with flowers in my hair. or speak in rhyme. or truly commit to my beliefs in UFOs and conspiracy theories...in other words, to go extreme into the realm of dorkdom. oh, the temptation is there and ever pressing. that why i read people magazine, to keep me tied into the mind numbing reality of our world.

it is summer and my flowers are not yet blooming. there is no spring here. it snowed last week and now it is 80 degrees (technically we even had snow flurries yesterday, briefly, an abomination)

i am off to work and then to play for a week, hooray for weddings and kayaks.

oh and my new goal for this year is to learn how to rock climb. we will see how this goes but i have my daddy's climbing shoes, which i believe is an auspicious beginning.

yeah it snowed 8 inches today. i won't even reference the date or the fact i should be frolicking through fields of flowers, not stomping through snow. megan and i took some comparison photos.

Us at the beginning of winter:





Us at the end of winter (or what should be the end)






WE WANT SPRING!!!!!

i remember at some point last year reading in a bookstore about the symbolic meanings of animal sightings. for example, the continually presence of deer within a certain amount of time may indicate the need to be still and introspective. well,recently i have seen about two dozen deer, a dozen elk, 3 foxes, large amounts of chipmunks, 7 crows, a crane, and a wild turkey. for an animal sighting to have significance does the animal have to make eye contact with you or is it quantity of animals or does every animal count for something? This last theory would mean that:


I am to expect magic in my life and should do unto others as i would have them do unto me. I need to learn to trust my intuition and use the magic to create a new world for myself. I need to be gentle with myself and others and accept unconditional love. I need to endure on my chosen path until my goals have been reached. I must camouflage myself and use my instincts and creative energies. I need to observe with all my senses to anticipate and create the future i want. (this is a conglomerate of the symbolism of these animals, minus the turkey and chipmunks. those apparently don't mean anything)


okay.


today i was watching Montel at the gym and there was a psychic on and it was rather hilarious to watch, this woman briefly, with little patience, answering these peoples desperate questions. Her responses were vague with nothing really convincing, in my mind, to prove she is not making all of this up. my favorite was the lady who asked about her past lives, only to find out that she drowned on a sailboat and did not actually live on Atlantis like she supposed. bummer.

May Day

yep, its May 1st and its a blizzard outside my window. what is wrong with Colorado? it was eighty degrees yesterday and i was turning ground in my barefeet for a garden. its beautiful but i refuse to enjoy it because it should be spring!!