Can of Worms

I have had my third night of angry dreams in a row.

The first was a musical dream, where a haphazard ensemble was supposed to play together (one piano, two electric pianos, a saxophone, a drum set, and me, on cello) but no one knew what was going on and there was no time to practice and no one would listen and I was so very ANGRY.

The second took place in my old church's gym and it was Christmas. We were supposed to put on some sort of Nativity/ 12 days of Christmas/ Drummer boy performance but, again, had no time to get ready and no one was listening and it was pure chaos and I was so very ANGRY.

Last night I dreamt that I was living at a homeless shelter and this one girl kept trying to kill me. She was huge and every time she would come for me, I wasn't scared, I just took her down in some of the moves I learned from my child restraining years. I dragged her to the manager's office and calmly explained that I had no reason to hurt her, that her anger was irrational, if she would just tell me what was wrong we could fix the problem. But no, she just kept coming for me and I kept taking her down. She was the angry one in that dream. I was just wearily resigned to continually throwing her on the ground. Like, I would be in the middle of a conversation, she would sneak up on me, I would twist her into a pretzel, and say nonchalantly "Sorry, she is just this girl that keeps trying to kill me."

So, this means I am angry, right?

It is -2 degrees outside and all I want to do is curl up in bed with my book and hot cocoa. But I have a long, long day ahead. And a long day tomorrow. Then I can rest.