Can of Worms

Nothing new has really happened to warrant blogging except that i like to hear myself talk, again proving that the sole purpose of blogs, or at least my blog, is unadulterated self-worship. well, not really, but maybe trying to create the pretense of having something worth while to contribute or say.

speaking of jobs, its amazing to me how much i want a job that sounds cool simply so that i will sound cool. Seriously, i am ambitious (or vain) and want to look good in the eyes of others. and i want to do it with paid vacations and a work day that begins at ten in the morning. that's not too much to ask is it? Then why is it that i am always drawn to non-profit or volunteer jobs.

Megan won't lend me her book until i finish the one i am reading, or have been trying to read since December. its not a bad book, i really like it, hence my continued effort to finish it, its just i have a mental block when it comes to non-fiction. If it is in narrative form i can plow through it without a problem, but when it comes to things of substance, well....i am so easily distracted then by the stories in my head.

I also hate the feeling i get sometimes of tangled, indefinable emotion, where the only words i can find to label what i am feeling are angry, weary, frustrated. and i guess the frustrating part is not that these emotions are present but rather that i don't know what is causing them or how to express them properly. and so i stew and hit things about until everything comes into order, which i guess it must inevitably do, but i never know how long it will take. My brain is such a bother.

And I will soon be an aunt and all i could think about in church today was how excited i am to gain this new title. I cannot wait. Words cannot describe how much i like babies, especially ones that i am related to.

and we have not seen any bears yet.