Things I did instead of studying:

- made cake pops for church brunch (thats right, cake on a stick, with sprinkles. I would pick the most time consuming baked good ever but they are kind of amazing)

- bought fabric at Joann's weekend sale (40-50% off- how can you resist?)

- visited the book festival happening literally in my back yard. My favorite is the science fiction/ fantasy tent, which of course sports some wenches and pirates. The wenches were a little timid for my taste. I mean really, if you are going to dress up in public, displaying your not so hidden fantasy about living in the novels you read/attempt to write, please go big or go home. If you are going to be a pirate, BE A PIRATE. Don't mouse about and make me pity you for your lack of swash-buckle.

- had brunch with my dear friends that comprise Team Awesome here at nursing school. Crepes, farmer's market breads and cheeses, fritata and my favorite coffee....mmmmm...talked about the commune.

- made over a dozen mini meat loafs to freeze for future consumption. Baked them in muffin tins = brilliant. and delicious.

- cleaned my room

- wrote this blog

- watched the two hour Grey's anatomy premiere and displayed nurse dorkdom via my excitement that the safety checklist used pre-surgery prevented them from operating on the wrong person. Yay for safety checklists!

Okay, I am kind of into school again, having almost finished the first round of test. Truly, the only thing keeping me grounded is a daily run. and biscuits. I heard rumor of a run in DC in December some how based around chocolate or sponsored by a chocolate company....could there be anything better? I have a lot to do and hopefully I will do it all.

I keep a running list in the back of my calendar (yes I still use a hard copy, non-phone or web based thingy-me-bob) of all the things I want to read, see, and do. Its getting very long and I think will never be accomplished, but its nice to do all the same.

I have to finish re-applying for my masters. Eek! So many things to plan and do - take a year off? keep going? who knows.

I am attending a church filled with young people. Really young people. Like, I am considered old. Its kind of funny. But thankfully its close, its good, and they are all art students so no one bats an eye at my homemade clothes.

I find myself coming up with new idioms or slang words or phrases that I plan to integrate into the English language. Like, who first came up with "okay" "rad" or "Bird of a different color" as phrases we all (mostly) recognize in daily conversation. Today I threw into conversation, "Different color, same egg" (which is clearly just thievery of the previous statement). But I like eggs and generally classify all people as "good egg" or "bad egg" - it just felt natural and right. I got a look, but it was accepted as a sound contribution. So begins my plan....

Also, my brother's band's album is on itunes --> The Sea Wolf Mutiny, The Last Season. You should get it. **nudge nudge**

Resolved.

I have decided only to write in the font "optima" to perpetuate positivism and good will. This isn't actually an option on this forum, but just so you know, mentally I am typing in "optima."

I have allowed my school work to build to such a point that now I must study with the fervor and determination seen in the summer in order to catch up lost ground/ be successful/ get anything done. Excellent. Oh, and I am the unopposed candidate for my class' Vice President. That's right, I am finally redeeming my 8th grade failure to win a place in student government. My platform is a Halloween flash mob that involves our entire student body dressing up like Lady Gaga. or Florence Nightingale. Also, organizing a student mentor program, but that is secondary.

The Christa Alphabet

(borrowed from Abby)

ambition: to be in a musical, make a pair of shoes, cure diabetes

bad habit: loquacious and loud

city: baltimore, md

drink: water, room temperature

education: currently nursing, at J. Hop

food: apples and peanut butter, toast with butter and honey, kale

guilty pleasure: glee, young adult fantasy novels, roller derby

hometown: charlotte, north carolina

ice cream: cookie dough, peanut butter

jonesing for: my own home, which I will build from things I find, on land that will grow into a wild jungle of children and vegetables

kryptonite: pretty, small dishes or pretty pieces of fabric. also, bearded men.

look-a-like: drew barrymore (?)

movies: whip it, away we go, jane eyre, star wars, anything Austin, westerns, sci fi and the like

nicknames: calamity, megs, megakaryocyte, chriiiiiiiiiiista, christabelle

obsession: dresses, preferably stolen/ borrowed from old ladies or librarians

perfume: hypoallergenic soap

quirk: losing my words

regrets: not (yet) hiking the Appalachian trail

starbucks: café au lait, with honey

talents: spontaneous limericks, creating, writing, playing

university: unc, j. hop

vacation: Colorado, anywhere

wine: white

x: x to not speaking my mind

years: twenty-seven

zen: reading books in hammocks or bed, sewing, running, sitting in the sun

I definitely have a case of the back to school blues. Really? Another semester? Aren't I done yet? I am cleaning, prepping notebooks, vacuuming, doing vacation laundry (sniff, vacation...I miss you) and trying to not have an anxiety attack. Gone is the ignorant optimism of pre-nursing school, here is the present reality of what I must do again. And then twice more.

But then I will graduate and its tantalizing, as usually, to plan all of the imaginary possibilities of where I may go and what I may do. I will probably stay here but I like to plan all the same.

Its raining, a great excuse to stay indoors and sew.

Things I love

Danny working at El Burrito, Mom and Abbie eating at El Burrito (its really, really delicious), the show

Also, I don't have a genetic disorder, in case you were wondering.

I am the only one in the school library right now, except for the unfortunate woman whose office is located within this tomb of silence and soulful studying. No, a masters student just came in. I can tell she is a masters student (or doctoral) because she has the wizened look of one who has been studying too long. And she is here.

I passed all my exam. I survived. I am waiting for last official grades because I can't trust my math enough to work out exactly what my final grade may be. They weight them so your final exam is 40% of your grade, which means that basically what you make on the final is what you make in the class. No pressure. I am trying not to obsess about grades and am doing pretty well. Its not that I need them to prove my worth, I want them so I can get scholarships. Also, there is a devilish part of me that wants to slip under the radar of all the ostentatiously smart folks who go around lording their intelligence like its a badge of honor and then end up with a quietly smug, yet higher GPA. The devilish part of me, I know.

These past few days have been filled with sun, lounging, spontaneous naps, roller coasters, meals with friends, running, and sleeping. Its been great. I still have an extensive to-do list however, which includes the GRE, which I am to take tomorrow. I am a little nervous and thus I am at the library to study, which ends up looking more like blogging. I am also a little nervous that I am still exhausted and long for a cup of coffee each morning to jolt my brain into functioning. Question 1: How did I manage to stay awake this entire semester? Question 2: How will I stay awake for next semester?

I lost my cell phone or it was stolen. This was one instance where I was distinctly aware of the location of my phone until it was gone (on the window ledge in the gym. I stepped out just for a moment and then it was gone. boo.). I need a new one. I realized that I use my phone to tell time and without it, I don't actually know the hour of the day. I should start watching the sun I suppose.

Exam Delirium

I have no explanation. These, however, are my dear, dear friends without which I would not have survived the semester...

And that's how its done kids. Okay, almost done. One more exam. One more. Then three weeks that will include:

nachos, running, reading, making a medical taboo game, illegal street art, Charlotte and Sea Wolf Mutiny, Colorado, Minnesota and Farm weddings, Pirates with Laura, sleeping, dress making, learning lady gaga dance moves, making hair clips, sleeping, Zoolander, pie shakes, dance parties, waffles, card games, movies, sleeping, watching other people sky diving, head stands, the GRE, writing my masters application (again - I know, I keep changing what program I want to do....), curing diabetes, sleeping, sitting in the sun, secretly studying for next semester....in a fun way......

and now I have to start working.

I hope to never become a person who assumes that simply because I am in the midst of something hard and demanding I am inherently "better" or "smarter." Smart has no value; perseverance does. Being in this ridiculous program does not make me superior to anyone else and its hard to talk to people who think that it does (when the statement "We deserve to be taught by PhDs" comes out of your neighbor's mouth, you know you are in trouble). The value of being here is not that it proves how smart anyone is; the value is that this program teaches you to work hard and do more than you thought you could. While dancing between egos I like to think about this. All in all, I like the person I am becoming here. Like pushing an orange through a sieve, hopefully I will become refreshing and pulp-free.

I am an aunt again! Welcome to the family Emmaline Arabella!

I have cut off my hair and I love that its gone. My hair was the longest it had ever been and I was delighted to discover that I have ringlets (at least 3) when I first get out of the shower. That and the inch I magically grew (taller) prove that God is always listening. But then I decided to cut it all off on an impulse. Why? Because nursing school requires ponytails if hair is longer than your chin and that gets old fast. Though the hairdresser was a little too-cool-for-school, telling us about the book on stalin she is reading and how she doesn't watch tv (you know, like no one else was ever cool enough to not watch tv and read about stalin. Dude, I am in nursing school. I don't watch tv and I do wound care. I am cooler. done.) you know you can always trust a hipster with your hair. I have a ode-to-the-twenties bob with a flirty swoop of bangs that invariably leads you to my come hither eyes. Or something like that. Bottom line: easy to do, I look more pulled together, fun excuse for cute hair clips. done.

Various study sessions, wound care, online lab simulations (shockingly hard...what do you do when your patient codes?), freaking out over the schedule in July and the depth of patho we must know, and concluding with our rockin' study group, dubbed "Team Awesome." From left to right, Kim, me, Jolene, Liz, and Holly. Test one down, a million to go.

If the number of craft and design blogs I haven't read indicate how productive I have been (198 190) I have been very productive. Very.

(I miss you craft and design blogs.)

The way things work

Pathophysiology is the best class ever! Dynamic instructors and a lecture that discussed the following:
- worst hockey injury ever (not for the faint of heart)
- the best frostbite, amputation, and gas gangrene pictures I have ever seen
-Florence Nightengale and her pet owlette, Athena

Today I ventured on another sweat-soaked adventure, as each outing into the steaming city leaves you glowing (wilting). But I returned successful! I lugged my three terra cotta pots and 16 quart bag of soil onto the bus, with miracle grow tucked in my pocket. My plants will not die! I procured a farmer's market steal (3 basil plants for $6) and quizzed the farmer who sold them to me on how I too could grow/sustain/not kill innocent green things. I see this as my first real patient-caretaker interaction, if anyone is keep track. Once home I sloppily baptized the pots with white paint (so hot, the paint dried the instant I lifted my brush, making for awkward pot-paint negotiations), painting swirls and squiggles to my hearts content. Soon, ground breaking and planting. They will not die! Also, I discovered that Ace hardware is, apparently, my inner city stop for all needed kitchen supplies. I swear I asked every person I passed in the street where I could buy a pie pan and there must be nary a pie in Baltimore because no one knew! But in addition to soil, keys, and paint, Ace is home to bundt and pie pans. Lovely.

Crisis!

Tomorrow is a holiday and all school buildings will be closed...which are the only places I go and I have THINGS to do! I have recruited another class mate to track down all of the study-able coffee shops in our neighborhood. We will frequent each for 4 hours before getting a brief break and returning to work. The day will end with sushi. I have met some great girls, one especially that will crack the whip and make me work hard to keep up with her. Awesome (not sarcastic, really, awesome).

Moments of fear and hope are crowding so closely together its hard to distinguish one from the other. I am sitting here thinking to myself, this is why we do things that are hard and challenging. This is why we put ourselves in places that make us uncomfortable or may seem impossible. This is where we grow.

Okay kids, its happening aka I am doing it aka first homework assignments aka classes start Tuesday aka holy crapola!

Phew! I am exhausted. But I sit here scanning my Nursing Care Plan text book, reading about patient education and sample patient histories and I am totally pumped! This year will be ridiculous, exhausting, and even more ridiculous, but whoa, I will learn a lot.

Summary:

- I found the nearest Good Will (snagged some steals, like a pie pan, cute cardigan, etc). At school we have to dress business casual everyday, meaning only a limited supply of my hippie dresses are doing to be acceptable. And I can't wear sandals. And its humid and feels like 100 degrees outside (Come on!). But it will be okay because there is a H&M and I found a buddy that will clothing swap with me and I have a few more bedsheets I can turn into darling sun dresses. The Good Will was quality, though the lady at the counter looked at us like we were the scum of the earth. Nothing like a good ol' stink eye to throw you off your thrifting game.

- First load of laundry here went well. Clothes drying on the balcony. Check.

- Made a list of homework. And I wrote my new resume. Can you believe at orientation they talked to us about writing resumes? That's how fast this program is.

- Tomorrow: Yoga in the park, farmer's markets, more exploring, syllabus party, etc. etc.

Do you remember August in Hinton James with no air conditioning? Anyone? That is what it is like here except its still May. August will kill me. I literally woke up last night in a claustrophobic fit because I couldn't escape the hot, sweaty sleeping bag I was trapped in. Except there was no sleeping bag. It was the air.