Can of Worms

Hello. I have tried to write but all too often I delete what I have said.

A funny thing happens just when you think you couldn't possible get any busier- you get busier and look back at your former life and wonder what you did with all that free time.

I have to wake up in approximately three hours and I can't sleep. I am tempted to just go to the gym or something, just to use this time productively.

I feel like there is a secret demerit system at work - you are constantly losing points arbitrarily based on the Boss's mood. It kind of stinks.

To lighten the mood at work, which has become increasingly depressed, I have instituted a few new Christa Specials. There is the "Dance Move Of The Day," which I am always willing to demonstrate. I also provide "Guess What Song Is In My Head Now" or "Tuneless Humming While I Concentrate On Some Inane Task," not to mention "Fake Fainting." "Fake Fainting" is my favorite way to pass time but it does require some skill and awareness. You cannot just fling your body onto the ground willy-nilly. You have to make sure there are no sharp corners or innocent bystanders to fall on. Its also prudent to fake faint in front of people who won't try to catch you because, really, it just destroys the effect. Unless the catcher is particularly attractive, but then we are talking about a completely different type of game.

You know how when you are around folks all the time, you begin to pick up their lingo? Well, I have picked up "oh dear" from Andrea while she picked up "my head is going to explode" from me. Charming, ain't I?

I have finished my nutrition certification. My last book was called "Your Health, Your Choice" and I have uncovered a conspiracy. There are a suspicious number of typos in this book and they have enough consistency that I immediately suspected a secret code. The typos are as follows:

exe4rcise, qualiti8es, w3ell, buf7fer, demoli1sh, d9airy, saliv1a, adaptations2, functio5n, bac3teria

I took the numbers and correlated them to the appropriate letters of the alphabet and got:

D H C G A I A B E C

which clearly means:

Don't Hate Chocolate Ganache - Avoid Irritating Acupuncturists - Be Extraordinary Christa

I should be a detective or a spy. Obviously I have a talent for decoding.


(I want everyone to know I deliberated over my commas and I am sorry if they are incorrect, cause in the end, I just don't care)