Can of Worms

life is but a quick succession of busy nothings.


puttering, wondering, wandering fill my days.

i am going to move on from my job, this is pretty certain....i think.

as so many people have been telling me, there is just no reason to be as miserable as i am right now and that it is so easy to find a job where i can sleep at night, be at peace, and rest.

i almost feel like the fact that this job has turned me into a wreck of human being makes me weak, insubstantial and unable to handle the reality fo the world. like, i always internally think of myself as a warrior or able to handle anything. but that is clearly not the case. but maybe the job hasn't really turned me into a wreck but has simply revealed the wreck that i already was. am. ?

yesterday the sermon was on love and fear and how fear, not hatred, is the opposite of love. so true. i feel like fear is often the defining emotion of my life currently.


meanwhile, it is lovely to have wonderful women around me. in addition to the marvelous megan, exceptional elisabeth and radient rachel have been chillin in our hood.


megan's youth group girls spent the night at our cabin and there was some amazing midnight sleding going on. the best part is that when we went inside to sleep we threw tons of water on it so it would ice over. the next morning i went down in my pajamas and nearly died. it was amazing. there may be some pictures.